Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney cast

Characters in each section are listed in order of recap appearance.

Major characters

Phoenix Wright

	Nickname(s):	none
	Age:	24
	First Appearance:	Part 1

Our protagonist, a homosexual defense attorney with overly spiked hair and a pink tie. He has a penchant for taking on cases that seem like lost causes, but he always manages to turn them around using his brilliant lawyering skills. How he accomplishes this when the game designers made him dumber than a box of Tidus hair, I don't know. And I don't really care, because his real purpose is to have hot gay buttsex with other hot gay male characters in the game.

Mia Fey

	Nickname(s):	none
	Age:	27
	First Appearance:	Part 1

Phoenix's boss, and another supposedly brilliant defense attorney. She also, sad to say, wants in Phoenix's cheap blue pants. While most guys would be all over her -- with her revealing outfit and porn star hooters -- that's just not going to happen in this game. Also, it must be noted that at the advanced age of 27, she plays the role of the older, wiser mentor. And we know what always happens to them, don't we?

Larry Butz

	Nickname(s):	none
	Age:	23
	First Appearance:	Part 1

Phoenix's childhood friend and current boyfriend. Sure, the boyfriend thing isn't actually supported in canon, but the guy's last name is BUTZ. Do the math, people. Unfortunately for Phoenix, Larry is a giant, melodramatic douchebag who also plays the obligatory role of the "CHICKS CHICKS CHIIIIIIIIIIIICKS!!!!" guy in this game. On top of all those charming character traits, he manages to get himself arrested for murder. And it's up to his sexy boyfriend Phoenix to defend him. Oh, he'd SO better put out tonight.

The Judge

	Nickname(s):	none
	Age:	Ageless
	First Appearance:	Part 1

He's powerful, ever-present, and unchanging -- kind of like God. If God has a below-zero IQ, that is. I'm not sure if he's senile or just really, really, really dumb and gullible. It could be both. Either way, he holds the power of life and death in his incompetent, gavel-banging hands. That should scare the everloving shit out of you.

Maya Fey

	Nickname(s):	none
	Age:	17
	First Appearance:	Part 2

Accused of the murder of her older sister Mia, Maya is another defendant who was really just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Speaking of that, as the main female presence in the series, just by the virtue of her presence she has a knack for finding herself in absurd pairings with Phoenix, Edgeworth and any number of other clearly gay men.

Dick Gumshoe

	Nickname(s):	none
	Age:	30
	First Appearance:	Part 2

Because any game about crime and punishment has to have one, Dick Gumshoe is our token inept detective with the general disposition of a braindead labrador. Detective Gumshoe usually manages to screw up even the most basic crime scene investigations and tends to make the prosecution look stupid whenever he takes the witness stand, which means he's invaluable to Phoenix.

Miles Edgeworth

	Nickname(s):	none
	Age:	24
	First Appearance:	Part 2

Undefeated prosecutor, connoisseur of fuchsia and frills, purchaser of Just For Men Touch of Gray, and totally obvious lover of Phoenix Wright. I'm saying this up front in his character profile because, well, if you can't handle the idea of Phoenix and Edgeworth having sweaty buttsex at every possible opportunity between (and maybe during!) courtroom sessions, these recaps might not be for you.