Suikoden III

Suiko3-header.jpg
Recapper: Sam
Begun: 1.7.03
Latest: 6.17.16
Status: Active
See also: Suikoden III cast

Summary

Suikoden III took a different direction than its two predecessors and introduced the Trinity Sight System, otherwise known as the Wheel of Heroes. Why just play through a plot point when you can play through it from three different perspectives and still not understand what the fuck is going on until the epilogue?

Recap terminology
Game term Recap term
Vinay del Zexay Vinay del Sexay
Saint Loa Knights Saint Loa Wankers
Brass Castle Ass Castle
Budehuc Castle Buttfuck Castle

Relationships

  • Zexen Knight Five-Way: I shouldn't need to tell you which member of the Zexen Six is not part of this arrangement. Within this drama-laden quintet, it is obvious that Borus/Percival and Bubba/Roland have paired off, which leaves Tootie in charge of orgy logistics.
  • Ace/Joker: These two are so catty with each other there is simply no way they're not fucking. Queen seems to be fully aware of this, which I appreciate.
  • Frodo/Samwise: Even though they're not both male, I obviously would not have named them after Frodo and Sam if I didn't think there was a spark of romance there. At the least, Samwise is totally in love with Frodo, and eventually Frodo will probably notice after he's done boning Aragorn Cogsworth.
  • Hugo/Sarge: Once I had this thought I not only couldn't unthink it, but I couldn't stop thinking it constantly. These two are probably more codependent than Ace and Joker, with the added benefit of Hugo bringing some deeply entrenched daddy issues to their steamy nights under Fubie's wing.

Tropes

  • But You're Just a Kid!: This mostly applies to Hugo. As the son of the Karaya chief, Hugo is treated as a coddled baby who wouldn't know how to find his asshole without a map and compass. Now, this is mostly fair because Hugo is a dumb kid, but it still applies. Aila also gets this treatment from Ace, who is a massive dick about it.
  • CHIIIIIIIIICKS: All five of the other Zexen Knights (see above) halfheartedly pretend to be in love with Chris, and are fooling exactly no one. For a more classic example of a CHIIIIIIIIICKS character, look no further than Nash, who is as gay as the day is long but cannot shut up about how very married and straight and henpecked he is.
  • The Cold Truth of War™: Grassland is basically on fire throughout the game, so that's going on. And the former Grassland village of Le Buque is a microcosm of the horrors of The Cold Truth of War™, as Aila learns there about Harmonia's treatment of its third-class cititzenry.
  • He Could Be My Friend, If He Weren't My Enemy: Thanks to the Wheel of Heroes, the events of the story are viewed through three different, and often at odds, viewpoints. Specifically, Hugo and Chris are on opposite sides of the conflict and Hugo actively hates Chris for killing his shitty idiot of a best friend. But of course they're eventually going to make up (not like that).
  • I'm a Pedophile and It's Okay!: Guillaume is actually a pedophile. Not even in the vague way we normally mean--he has committed multiple offenses against underage characters. But it's cool, he's a Star of Destiny so he gets to go move in with those children and open up a shop! Nothing shady going on here!
  • Laurel and Hardy: Rhett and Wilder are two ducks of a prissy/thin and fat/boisterous nature who only exist to a) be comic relief compared to Sarge's taciturn buttholishness, and b) to fill up those stone tablets. It's hard to think up 108 characters!
  • Mini-games of the Damned: This is the first time in the series there is no sign of The Game That Shall Not Be Named, but don't worry! The game designers are here to help with a whole host of new, shitty mini-games, most of which involve cards and are just as rigged and horrible as Tai Ho's stupid dice cup.
  • RICH: Hugo and Sarge are two of my favorite characters in the game, but because Hugo is an idiot and Sarge exposits and repeats obvious information a lot, they are monstrously fucking irritating to recap.

Misc. Notes

  • Seriously, who is that masked man?!?!