Suikoden II cast

Characters in each section are listed in order of recap appearance.

Major characters

Riou (Hero)

	Nickname(s):	Barry White
	Star:	Tenkai
	Age:	?
	First Appearance:	Part 1

Our doe-eyed, fashionably-dressed (*cough*), ever-silent hero. Member of the Unicorn Brigade with his "friend" Jowy, he also has a famous father. Gee, that's never been done before. He uses tonfa, a weapon possibly even more phallic than the gunblade, making him an instant hit with ladies AND gents.

Jowy Atreides

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	none
	Age:	17
	First Appearance:	Part 1

Barry's childhood friend. In the grand Suikoden tradition, it obviously goes a fair bit beyond friendship, as far as he's concerned. Add to the mix that Jowy has Daddy issues, and we are in store for one sexually confused boy. Oh, and his name and avatar keep changing.

Luca Blight

	Nickname(s):	Adolf Hitler
	Star:	none
	Age:	27
	First Appearance:	Part 1

Prince Luca gets his jollies from making people squeal like pigs, setting things on fire and from cleansing the world of "filth"-"filth" being, in this case, anyone who isn't him. And to extend the Hitler resemblance even more, he has Daddy issues, too.

Viktor

	Nickname(s):	Bear
	Star:	Tenko
	Age:	32
	First Appearance:	Part 1

Viktor is largely the same meat-headed oaf that he was in Suikoden I, but he's three years older and suddenly in charge of a group of mercenaries. Who in the hell would let this guy be the boss of anyone? More importantly, he looks like a bear.

Flik

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Tenan
	Age:	28
	First Appearance:	Part 1

Unlike Viktor, Flik actually changes a little bit since we last saw his blue-clad ass in Suikoden I. For one thing, he's still obsessed with Odessa, but he's not a complete dillhole about it. For another, he's cool now. What three years can do.

Nanami

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Tenjyu
	Age:	16
	First Appearance:	Part 2

Barry's sister. Nanami is excitable, eager and very, very protective. Jowy would no doubt like to ditch her so he and his "man" could have some alone time, but she'll have none of that. She and the Hero aren't related by blood, but according to Jowy they're "a real family." I shed a tear.

Shu

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Tenki
	Age:	26
	First Appearance:	Part 8

The brilliant, forceful master strategist of Barry's Yaoi Army. He studied with Apple under Mathiu Silverberg, but got kicked out for being greedy or something. He also apparently fancied Apple, but he's so cool that it can be forgiven. Barry and I both think he's dreeeamy.

Leon Silverberg

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	none
	Age:	48
	First Appearance:	Part 12

The last living member of the name-droppingest family ever, the Silverbergs, Leon decides to help out the family’s PR and join Jowy as a strategist. It certainly has nothing to do with an inappropriate, sexually charged rivalry with Shu. No sir.

Stars of Destiny

Barbara

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Chison
	Age:	36
	First Appearance:	Part 1

The warehouse wench at Viktor's fort. It's almost refreshing to see a fat chick who isn't evil or psycho…then again, it's not like Barbara's important to the plot, either. Baby steps, people.

Leona

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Chihi
	Age:	32
	First Appearance:	Part 1

Your typical "lonely, bitter bar maiden with a heart of gold and a delicious booty." She, indeed, runs the bar at Viktor's fort, and makes a point of hitting on our hero. A woman in an RPG thinking the hero is cute? I know. You're so shocked.

Gengen

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Chitan
	Age:	17
	First Appearance:	Part 1

Gengen carries on the Suikoden tradition of Kobolds being annoying, proud-without-reason, speech-impaired gits. Sadly, most of the other characters think he's the bees' knees for some reason.

Tuta

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Chijyu
	Age:	11
	First Appearance:	Part 1

Dr. Huan's medical assistant. I only know Tuta is male because I've played Suikoden III and he actually gets some testosterone by then. His testosterone is practically in the negative numbers at this point.

Eilie

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Tenzai
	Age:	17
	First Appearance:	Part 1

A gypsy knife-thrower who travels and performs with her sister Rina and her brother Bolgan. She's extremely pushy and stubborn, and yes, she has a major thing for the Hero. She tries--and fails--to hide this fact.

Rina

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Tenken
	Age:	18
	First Appearance:	Part 1

Eilie's older sister and Suikoden II's resident ho. Eilie is greatly embarrassed by her behavior, but really wishes she could be that forward with men. Rina reads tarot cards as part of their traveling show, and more than likely tells everyone their fortune is to have sex with her behind the nearest tree.

Bolgan

	Nickname(s):	Andre the Giant
	Star:	Tenpai
	Age:	16
	First Appearance:	Part 1

Bolgan is the youngest of the three travelers, and as such is the biggest and dumbest. (Get it? The big guy is the little brother? Ha!) His trick is to breathe fire and to say stupid giant-type things.

Mukumuku

	Nickname(s):	Muku Ranger Red
	Star:	Chima
	Age:	6
	First Appearance:	Part 2

The first of the Squirrel Ranger Team, and the leader, since he's in red. Found hiding behind a tree in the Hero's backyard. Maybe the tree is their secret Squirrel Ranger Vehicle. Or not.

Rikimaru

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Chian
	Age:	25
	First Appearance:	Part 2

The Gang finds this wino/beggar passed out near the inn in Ryube. His character development? He likes food. What a winner.

Millie

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Chiku
	Age:	14
	First Appearance:	Part 2

Suikoden II jumps on the fanboy eye candy stereotype bandwagon early with this girl: she's sugary, she's well-endowed, she's wearing a sailor outfit, she's 14. Smell the spank material. And she has a very scary pet named Bonaparte.

Kinnison

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Chisin
	Age:	18
	First Appearance:	Part 2

I would call Kinnison a granola-munching hippie for his complaints about Highland destroying his forest home, but he's a hunter, also, and hippies don't dig killing animals. Whatever. His dog is cool, and that's all that matters.

Shiro

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Chitai
	Age:	9
	First Appearance:	Part 2

He's a big white wolf, hence the name. His favorite activities include saying "Whooooooooo" and eating cuddly animals. Therefore he's the game's best character.

Zamza

	Nickname(s):	Lawrence of Assholia
	Star:	Chisyu
	Age:	29
	First Appearance:	Part 2

Another random catch for your party. Zamza dresses like an Arabian and is convinced of his utter, incomparable coolness. The reality? He's a wuss and a jackass to boot. If I could have him killed and still get the game's best ending, I would.

Apple

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Chifuku
	Age:	18
	First Appearance:	Part 2

Apple is technically a strategist, but I prefer to think of her as a Coattails Clinger. She sucks in the realm of battle tactics, which is good, because it means we get cooler strategists to make up for her incompetence. She's also a master of saying really stupid things. In short: I hate her.

Hanna

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Tensatsu
	Age:	29
	First Appearance:	Part 2

Poor Hanna. She must have been designed during a lunch break. There's nothing really outstanding about her. In appearance, in character, in battle, she's just there. Even her manliness is unimpressive.

Tsai

	Nickname(s):	Tsai of the Divine Spear
	Star:	Tenyu
	Age:	37
	First Appearance:	Part 3

A weapon smith living the hermit lifestyle in Ryube Village, Tsai has a divine spear by reputation, but I'm willing to bet the legendary divinity of his spear wouldn't hold up to testing.

Kiba

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Tenmou
	Age:	47
	First Appearance:	Part 3

The leader of Highland's 3rd Royal Company. He's loyal to the King, and not the Prince. This is our less-than-subtle clue that Kiba's really a good guy stuck under the leadership of a really bad man.

Hilda

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Chiin
	Age:	33
	First Appearance:	Part 4

She runs the White Deer Inn east of Muse with her husband and son. She doesn't have much personality worth mentioning, but she's got major diamond lust that she tries, in vain, to hide. Typical chick.

Alex

	Nickname(s):	Lloyd
	Star:	Chisu
	Age:	36
	First Appearance:	Part 4

Hilda's unibrowed, bowl-cut, treasure-obsessed husband. He hates the rural inn life and wants to find a bounty of gold so he can move his family someplace nice. Hopefully wherever that is, they'll have a decent barber there.

Clive

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Tensyo
	Age:	27
	First Appearance:	Part 5

Clive's a gunner from the Howling Voice Guild, and he's been sent to track down Elza, who stole some shit from his bosses. He takes his mission very seriously, but isn't very good at it--after all, he requires the help of a gay teenage boy just to find a boat across a lake.

Jess

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Tenku
	Age:	24
	First Appearance:	Part 5

Lady Anabelle's infatuated, assholish assistant. He's one of those annoying civilian politican types who talks a big game but doesn't really understand what War and Hardship are all about. And he'd be shot in a second on the battlefield, wearing those bright yellow pants. Duh.

Dr. Huan

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Chirei
	Age:	34
	First Appearance:	Part 5

Tuta's boss, and the bestest doctor in the whole wide world! But we see none of his fat cash--he lives in a very modest building in the middle of Muse, with only a sexually confused little boy to assist him. Maybe medicine in Jowston is socialized or something.

Anita

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Tenkyu
	Age:	29
	First Appearance:	Part 5

Some random warrior chick Barry meets in Muse. She apparently has some rival that drives her up the wall, and she just loves being hit on and waited on by effeminate young men. And though she's a seasoned fighter, she still chooses to wear sexy chick armor that exposes a bunch of skin. Right.

Fitcher

	Nickname(s):	Big Gay Fitcher
	Star:	Tenritsu
	Age:	32
	First Appearance:	Part 5

A seemingly random messenger of Muse who becomes marginally important in the grand scheme of things. Going by appearances, this guy is easily as gay as our tiara-wearing hero, and his nancy-boy attitude doesn't help matters. The picture says it all, folks.

Camus

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Chiki
	Age:	27
	First Appearance:	Part 6

Head of the Red Knights of Matilda. Camus, despite the reference to a 20th century existentialist, is straight out of the pages of an Arthurian romance. Fortunately, I’ve never seen piles and piles of Lancelot x Gallahad slash, something I can’t say about Camus and Miklotov.

Miklotov

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Chimou
	Age:	26
	First Appearance:	Part 6

Opposite Camus as the leader of Matilda’s Blue Knights. Smell the yaoi. Miklotov is the noble idealist--he believes it’s their duty as knights to help people in need. Clearly, this conflicts with his boss’ view that their duty is to sit on their asses and watch people die. Bad work environment.

Hauser

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Tenyu
	Age:	43
	First Appearance:	Part 6

Hey, everyone, it’s Suikoden’s Token Black Man! Poor Hauser is even treated as such--he commands Muse’s military forces, but plays silent bitch to Jess, and only gets token lines.

Teresa Wisemail

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Tenki
	Age:	27
	First Appearance:	Part 6

The "Acting Mayor" of Greenhill. This "acting" bit is important, because it means no one takes Teresa seriously as a politician, Teresa included. She has absolutely no confidence in her ability to lead people. Of course she can't lead--she's a weak GIRL!

Gilbert

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Chisatsu
	Age:	36
	First Appearance:	Part 6

Some mercenary who's an old acquaintance of Viktor and Flik. Decides to abandon Highland and join the City-State in the middle of a battle, because he knows I need to get the good ending.

Tai Ho

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Tenhei
	Age:	37
	First Appearance:	Part 6

Has now infected two Suikoden games with the pain and horror that is The Game That Shall Not Be Named. Still wears a bathrobe. Will go to a special circle of hell reserved for people who force shitty, rigged dice games on other people.

Yam Koo

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Tenson
	Age:	28
	First Appearance:	Part 6

Tai Ho's evil brother/lover/partner in crime. He badly needs a haircut and also needs to stop acting like a whiny Tidus. At least in this game he's not playable, because hey, did he suck or what?

Freed Y

	Nickname(s):	Waylon S
	Star:	Tenbou
	Age:	25
	First Appearance:	Part 7

Freed is the right-hand manbitch of South Window's Lord Granmeyer. He spends most of his time bootlicking and talking about how great his city and boss/object of lust are. He also has a huge rod up his butt, which makes Barry really jealous.

Kahn Marley

	Nickname(s):	Khan
	Star:	Chihei
	Age:	32
	First Appearance:	Part 7

Kahn comes from a long line of vampire hunters. It seems his entire family has tried, and failed, to kill Neclord. Wow, those are some really great vampire hunters. I know I'm impressed.

Templeton

	Nickname(s):	Templton
	Star:	Chimou
	Age:	14
	First Appearance:	Part 8

The "cute young mapmaker" whom I am assured is male, despite all appearance to the contrary. Templeton's purpose is to--surprise!--lend Barry the use of his world map. I'm sure someone out there in Fanfic Land could make that dirty.

Richmond

	Nickname(s):	Dick
	Star:	Chiyu
	Age:	35
	First Appearance:	Part 8

Richmond's a private dick and a sex machine that gets all the chicks. He helps Barry and the Gang dig up dirt on Shu, because he's an awesome investigator or something. I wonder if there's some place--a castle, maybe--he could go to and dig up dirt on all the kinky inhabitants for a fee! What a sweet gig that would be.

Amada

	Nickname(s):	Nearly Naked Amada
	Star:	Chiman
	Age:	26
	First Appearance:	Part 8

Amada has some function at the sluice gate in Radat Town. We can assume he's in charge, but he's almost never there, and doesn't act like he has a clue how to run the place. Oh, if only he could get a job he could really get into, one that would involve using his paddle and wearing next-to-nothing!

Luc

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Tenkan
	Age:	17
	First Appearance:	Part 8

Yes, Lady Leknaat's jerky ass-istant is back in the sequel. Due to the better character art, his femininity has increased roughly 200 percent, but shockingly he's less of a girly wuss in battle this time around. That's what we in the business call a "study in contrasts."

Adlai

	Nickname(s):	Professor Shaftley
	Star:	Chisou
	Age:	42
	First Appearance:	Part 9

Adlai is in the seemingly booming business of "inventing" the elevator. Once he installs the working lift in Barry's castle, he spends the rest of his time as an army recruit standing uselessly next to it. It's not like the thing is ever going to break, so I think he's just standing there to yell at passerby about his great invention.

Yoshino

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Tenkoku
	Age:	23
	First Appearance:	Part 9

Freed's devoted wife. Yeah, you read that right. Yoshino is blissfully ignorant of the fact that she's a beard and her marriage is a sham, and ignores her husband's 10,000 "subtle" hints that he'd really rather not have her hanging out at Gay Stud Headquarters. Also, she does laundry.

Oulan

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Chiaku
	Age:	27
	First Appearance:	Part 9

When Barry and a host of jailbait girls are accosted in Kuskus Town by a gang of perverts, our True Rune wielder and hero of the game just isn't man enough to take them on. That's where Oulan steps in. She succeeds in doing what Barry could not and defends those frail little teenies with feminazi flair. Afterward, she joins the Yaoi Army because she's bored. Seriously, I'm not sure there is a reason.

Taki

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Chizen
	Age:	72
	First Appearance:	Part 9

The Yaoi Army just wouldn't be complete without a geriatric spinster dishing out random advice to anyone who asks for it. Taki was growing weary of her retiree life in Lakewest, and was just thinking of taking the Winnebago for a spin when Barry begged her for her services. Hey, it's better than sitting around waiting for the social security check.

Hans

	Nickname(s):	Gilderoy Lockhart
	Star:	Chiyu
	Age:	33
	First Appearance:	Part 10

Finally, a random recruit that does something. Barry meets Hans, the out-of-work armorer, in Two River City, and realizes at once that he must have this fabulous man among his ranks. So now he gets all the discount armor he could ask for, and it's peddled by a fashionista! Beautiful.

Chaco

	Nickname(s):	Cocko
	Star:	Tenkou
	Age:	14
	First Appearance:	Part 10

As the nickname implies, Chaco is kind of a cock. The product of a lack of discipline and the general Winger disposition toward fuckstick-ness, Chaco immediately endears himself to Barry by stealing his wallet, mouthing off, and being generally annoying. Barry refuses to even entertain the idea of relations with this kid.

Ridley

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Tengou
	Age:	39
	First Appearance:	Part 10

The only smart Kobold in the history of the universe, Ridley is a senior general of the "Kobold Army" in the City-State of the woods. Because he is a military dog, he resembles a Doberman. Thank you, Ishikawa Fumi, for making sure Ridley looks like what he is, so as not to confuse us. Woof.

Klaus

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Chikai
	Age:	19
	First Appearance:	Part 10

Klaus is General Kiba's demure, feminine uke of a son. Like his father, Klaus is extremely loyal to his king, and very hard working. He's also a clever strategist, which totally turns Barry's crank. So many men, so little time.

Tetsu

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Chiyu
	Age:	42
	First Appearance:	Part 11

A crazy bathmaker with a deep, profound love of "toasty" men and Nanami-style bad punctuation. He is responsible for spawning Suikoden III's Goro, who succeeds in being even creepier than his old man. I'm sure there is Testu/Goro smut fanfiction out there in Internetland. No, I do not want you to give me links.

Meg

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Chikei
	Age:	16
	First Appearance:	Part 11

You may remember this annoying little waste of space from the first game, when she was just a hanger-on to an even bigger hanger-on, her uncle Juppo. Now she has a robot made out of a barrel, but she herself is still useless.

Gadget

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Chisyun
	Age:	3
	First Appearance:	Part 11

Smart-ass robots in videogames are always a plus, even if all the ones in this series come attached to stupid little girls. Gadget, like his owner, kind of sucks in battle, but he remains in my good graces by making fun of Meg and generally being cute. Unfortunately he never tells Meg to bite his splintery wooden ass.

Wakaba

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Chiyu
	Age:	15
	First Appearance:	Part 11

A freaking girl who totally tricks Barry into thinking she's a nubile young boy who wants his hot tonfa action. From now on Barry is going to confine all the annoying, but necessary for the good ending, female Stars of Destiny to the basement.

Tony

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Chitou
	Age:	19
	First Appearance:	Part 11

A fat guy in dirty overalls who farms up vegetables to feed Barry's hungry army of moochers. He also runs a Whack-a-Mole game that I never play because I suck at it. This is probably the only time I will ever mention it, in fact.

Hai Yo

	Nickname(s):	High Yo
	Star:	Chizou
	Age:	27
	First Appearance:	Part 11

Yet another fashion victim for Barry's collection. The executive chef of the Yaoi Army wears an all-yellow chef costume, and probably keeps his thin, curly mustache finely pointed using olive oil or something. He has a dark secret in his past, which must be resolved through competing against other chefs to see who can make the world's best pancakes.

Nina

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Tenfu
	Age:	16
	First Appearance:	Part 11

My favorite character, believe it or not. Nina is Flik's crazy teenage stalker--a sassy psycho with blonde curls who kills enemies with her Bookbag of Love. She is delusional, oblivious to her man's obvious gayness, and also extremely violent. In other words, she's the perfect Suikoden female.

Emilia

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Chisui
	Age:	29
	First Appearance:	Part 11

Emilia is the headmaster at the New Leaf Academy, and unlike everyone else involved, is smart enough to pretty immediately figure out that Barry and his bizarre companions are not really new students. She stealth-joins the Yaoi Army, but at least she has the grace to hide her female self in the library.

Shin

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Chisatsu
	Age:	27
	First Appearance:	Part 11

Shin is Lady Teresa's man in waiting, and is...maybe...possibly...straight?! Yeah, I know, orange jumpsuit and yellow turban, and a sword he has named "Tarantula." The writing is on the wall. But I can't imagine anyone wanting to spend that much time around Teresa Wisemail unless sex was a motivating factor.

Jeane

	Nickname(s):	Jeanne
	Star:	Chiketsu
	Age:	?
	First Appearance:	Part 11

As slutty as ever, this incarnation of Runemistress Jeane starts out as a teacher of, uh, rune stuff at the New Leaf Academy, though she really makes a living through female "companionship" services running the Two River rune shop.

Viki

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Chitatsu
	Age:	16
	First Appearance:	Part 12

Viki handles teleportation duties for the army, just like in every Suikoden game. I appreciate her dedication to her craft, even though through the entire story’s timeline she fails to get any better at it. She’s like something out of a Phoenix Wright game.

Futch

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Chibi
	Age:	14
	First Appearance:	Part 12

A Dragon Knight Ninth Rank Apprentice who is from a Dragon Cave but no longer has a Dragon. That’s how I would describe Futch if I were one of the writers or translators for this game. But yeah, his dragon is dead and now he’s a whiny bitch about getting a new one. SPOILER!

Humphrey

	Nickname(s):	Hump
	Star:	Tenyu
	Age:	35
	First Appearance:	Part 12

Humphrey is on a journey with Futch to find him a new dragon. He still doesn’t talk very much, but the character art in this game has done wonders for the yellow-caped knight. Now he’s silent and dreamy.

Sheena

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Chimei
	Age:	19
	First Appearance:	Part 13

The son daughter of legendary dickweed President Lepant. Once again, Sheena is out on her own, exploring the world and all the grunge-themed lesbian bars it has to offer on her dad’s dime. She has a crush on Apple, for some ungodly reason.

Sasuke

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Chikyou
	Age:	13
	First Appearance:	Part 13

A cute young ninja from Rokkaku, Kasumi’s ninja village. In a truly terrible cocktease, Barry is captured and tied up by this piece of cheesecake, only to be thrown out of the village and forbidden from recruiting him until the end of the game.

Mondo

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Chikou
	Age:	35
	First Appearance:	Part 13

A gruff older ninja from Rokkaku. He throws poor Barry out of the village before he can round up all the cute ninjas for his army.

Valeria

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Tensyo
	Age:	29
	First Appearance:	Part 13

Valeria is now one of the Toran Republic’s Six Great Generals. She is Barry’s first choice in Death Is Not an Option, Gregminster Edition.

Kasumi

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Chikyu
	Age:	19
	First Appearance:	Part 13

Kasumi represents her home village of Bukkake in the Toran government, and is the second choice offered to Barry by Lepant. Barry can sense that she’s clingy and tells her to get lost.

Lorelai

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Chikatsu
	Age:	28
	First Appearance:	Part 13

Lorelai hangs out in Gregminster, in front of the Flower General’s house, waiting for someone to request her services so she can sneer at them derisively and whine about Sindar ruins. Just the person Barry needs in his army.

Gordon

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Chikou
	Age:	35
	First Appearance:	Part 13

The proprietor of the creatively named Gordon’s Mercantile in Gregminster. He’s not much to look at, but he provides Barry the highly useful service of selling him knickknacks for his bathtub, so he can stay.

Hix

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Tenrou
	Age:	20
	First Appearance:	Part 14

If you thought defeating a vampire and rescuing his lady love would make Hix a man and make Tengaar treat him as such, sorry to disappoint you. Hix’s lack of manhood is more of an issue than ever, and on top of that, his brain fell out of his head since we last saw him.

Tengaar

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Tensui
	Age:	18
	First Appearance:	Part 14

Just as poor Hix has not really grown much in the past three years, Tengaar is also much the same as before: a stereotypical harpy girlfriend who just wants her boy to become a man. Barry would be happy to make him a man, but Tengaar might not appreciate his methods.

Shilo

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Chisyu
	Age:	24
	First Appearance:	Part 14

Just what Barry needed: a second person who enjoys The Game That Shall Not Be Named! This one is not as much of a fashion disaster as Tai Ho, but that’s like saying deep-fried Twinkies are not as bad for you as deep-fried Snickers.

Gabocha

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Chikaku
	Age:	13
	First Appearance:	Part 14

Another Kobold, and this one is Just a Kid™ and is therefore even more useless. Barry’s recruiting has been just amazing lately.

Sid

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Chido
	Age:	21
	First Appearance:	Part 14

Chaco’s “brother,” a Winger so obnoxious that even other Wingers dislike him. Why couldn’t Luca Blight have burned down Two River?

Yuzu

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Chisyu
	Age:	10
	First Appearance:	Part 14

Barry helps this small girl recover her sheep in Kobold Village. As thanks, she relocates to his castle, where Hai Yo butchers all her sheep and feeds them to the army. You’re welcome, Yuzu!

Badeaux

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Chibaku
	Age:	38
	First Appearance:	Part 14

This old man thinks he’s hot shit and too good to talk to Barry, but will acknowledge him if he brings a cute animal along that he can scratch behind the ears and coo, “Who’s a good boy? You are! YOU ARE!” Badeaux also gives Barry a couple magic beans crystals that can be used to recruit large creatures, which leaves me wondering what he was going to use those for before Barry came along.

Ayda

	Nickname(s):	Katniss
	Star:	Chisou
	Age:	17
	First Appearance:	Part 14

Ayda is a resident of the Forest Village, but is apparently the only person in that boondock backwater to be enough of a hippie not to attack a wounded animal. Barry is forced to recruit her if he wants to recruit the big badass griffin.

Feather

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Tenman
	Age:	23
	First Appearance:	Part 14

The big badass griffin. It shits all over Barry’s roof.

Connell

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Chisa
	Age:	12
	First Appearance:	Part 14

Connell is able to change the game sounds, and it feels so anachronistic that anyone would even want to do that. But he’s cute, so Barry lets him come of age in the welcoming confines of HoYay Castle.

Sigfried

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Tentai
	Age:	170
	First Appearance:	Part 14

The same unicorn Hix and Tengaar meet on Hix’s ridiculous Become a Real Man mission. Barry decides after all that that he’d rather like a pet unicorn at the castle, so he attempts to sacrifice Tengaar to it as a tribute. But Sigfried just wants to marry her. Ew.

Tomo

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Tensyo (or Chikyu)
	Age:	14
	First Appearance:	Part 14

The daughter of Tsai of the Not-So-Divine Spear. She is proof that Tsai has put down his spear long enough to have sex with an actual human woman at least once. Shockingly, Tomo’s parents are divorced. But he’s such a catch!

Bob

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Chikei
	Age:	25
	First Appearance:	Part 15

A Rastafarian werewolf. No, really. Bob Marley--Kahn's distant cousin, I guess--will only join the Yaoi Army after Barry has rounded up at least 80 victims friends. He wears an open vest over his bare chest, which still makes him overdressed in our new landscape of Taylor Lautner lycanthropes.

Stallion

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Tensoku
	Age:	28
	First Appearance:	Part 15

He’s still an elf with blue hair who likes to run fast, and is still not even close to interesting. But thank God that they decided the one elf in this game should be Stallion, and not Kirkis. Jesus, that guy.

Simone Verdricci

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Chikai
	Age:	32
	First Appearance:	Part 15

Simone is a thoroughly fabulous drag queen who, like many others in this universe, is obsessed with his rose brooch (designed in collaboration by Gianni Versace and Kanye West). He "befriends" (i.e. blows) Barry just for randomly finding one. For his fierce pink wardrobe alone, Simone is right up there with the Flower General in the annals of all-time great gay Suikoden characters.

Lebrante

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Chisei
	Age:	40
	First Appearance:	Part 15

Lex Luthor here runs an appraisal business as a front for his evil empire. He’s obsessed with extracting the kryptonite embedded in the clay of Celadon Urns, and recruits hapless Jimmy Olsen (Barry) to find him one for his "collection." Or he’s just some harmless bald guy. Right.

Hoi

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Chizoku
	Age:	16
	First Appearance:	Part 15

Proving that the people of the City-States are collectively dumber than a sack of hammers, this pudgy, beady-eyed, useless drink of water managed to fool people in multiple cities into believing he was the beloved Lord Barry. His punishment for this heinous act of identity theft is to...live at HoYay Castle, drink and eat for free, and get to study Barry up close to perfect his impersonation for the lean times after the war. I hate this game sometimes.

Karen

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Chiin
	Age:	17
	First Appearance:	Part 15

A dancer, possibly an exotic one, making a living in Kuskus until Barry whisks her off to perform for the sexually frustrated straight men and lesbians of the Yaoi Army. She fights with blacksmith-sharpened fingernails. I swear I’m not making that up.

Maximillian

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Chii
	Age:	65
	First Appearance:	Part 15

Hey, we've finally met Max! And only after we met his descendant and his ancestor, and even then in the wrong order! We’re great at this. Max is a doddering old lunatic who thinks he’s Don Quixote and has a raging case of punctuitis. At least his likely array of old man health problems will give Dr. Huan something to do.

Killey

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Tenbi
	Age:	30
	First Appearance:	Part 15

Has a Mysterious Past™ with Lorelai and is fixated on the Sindar. But all that is boring--more germane to our interests is that he dresses like a giant red bird with a pimp hat. He also assaults Alex in front of his wife and kid, which is pretty great.

Annallee

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Chiraku
	Age:	17
	First Appearance:	Part 15

A singer with literally no other abilities, Annallee escaped from Muse only to become a useless vagrant until Barry brings her to the HoYay Castle Homeless Shelter. She sings a terrifying Song of Silence that kills blackbirds and melts stone.

Koyu

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Chisoku
	Age:	16
	First Appearance:	Part 15

An extremely awkward young bandit from the mountains near Tinto who squats and sweats a lot and doesn't know how to use pronouns. Koyu's only real function in the story is to deliver Barry to Tinto, to the point that he may as well have a yellow exclamation mark above his head.

Gijimu

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Chikyou
	Age:	39
	First Appearance:	Part 16

Gijimu is the leader of the notorious, three-person-strong Lampdragon Bandits. This cushy, high-profile position affords him all the pink bandanas and eyeliner he wants, but for some reason he can't afford a razor.

Long Chan Chan

	Nickname(s):	Long Cock Chan
	Star:	Chihi
	Age:	33
	First Appearance:	Part 16

The supposed martial arts master serving as Wakaba's teacher, Long Chan Chan is, in practice, more of a musclebound, top-knotted grifter who has eaten away his welcome at inns all over the City-States. Wakaba simultaneously knows her master is a lying, greedy oaf and considers him wise and strong. I hope her parents didn't pay too much in tuition.

Tenkou

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Chiri
	Age:	67
	First Appearance:	Part 16

An old man who dresses windows. And unlike some members of the Yaoi Army, Stallion, he always makes sure the carpet matches.

Raura

	Nickname(s):	Laura
	Star:	Chikou
	Age:	?
	First Appearance:	Part 16

Jeane's BFF and creator of magical scrolls, Raura is naturally a gifted woman with a sharp mind. Just kidding, she’s a space cadet who doesn't know left from right and would spend the entire game wandering the desert in circles if not for Barry's intervention. But she has a great rack! Feminism!

Marlowe Cody

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Chiyou
	Age:	19
	First Appearance:	Part 16

Perhaps the single most useless member of the Yaoi Army--and that is a hotly contested honor--Marlowe started out as Gustav's servant and Lilly's tutor, but is dragged along to HoYay Castle with the actual helpful characters. Also, he apparently has a canonical crush on his seven-year-old pupil, which is astonishingly gross.

Sierra Mikain

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Tenei
	Age:	?
	First Appearance:	Part 16

An ancient vampire chasing Neclord, not because he’s evil or corrupt or even because he makes other vampires look bad, but because he stole her bling. She's presented as So Strong and Badass, but later she supposedly marries Nash, which demonstrates a certain lack of willpower, or standards.

Lo Wen

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Chii
	Age:	28
	First Appearance:	Part 16

A sassy, big-hipped bandit woman who Neclord insists is too vulgar for his tastes, when he really means "too womanly and intimidating." She is obviously the true leader of the Lampdragon bandits, since Koyu and Gijimu are terrified of her.

Gantetsu

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Chiziku
	Age:	45
	First Appearance:	Part 17

An oddball priest who guffaws at Barry's boy problems like a bald Sean Connery. He also requires of Barry a feat of strength before joining, so he might be a monk of Festivus.

Georg Prime

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Teni
	Age:	41
	First Appearance:	Part 17

A crazy old man who, if Richmond is to be believed, has been all over Suikoland and back, murdering queens and working as a knight in the service of a dozen different kingdoms. Barry is intrigued but terrified. He enjoys cheesecake.

Tessai

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Chiko
	Age:	37
	First Appearance:	Part 17

Barry finally finds his blacksmith, right around the time he doesn't need one anymore. Tessai is the master of the dippy apprentice in Kuskus, and has a boner for the Star Dragon Sword, which is in itself a boner.

Pico

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Chiretsu
	Age:	24
	First Appearance:	Part 17

One-third of the Burnt Village Slow Jam Experience, Pico is supposedly a ladies' man, but dumps a girl in Greenhill as soon as he meets Barry, considers the other woman in his life, Annallee, to be more like his "sister," and is probably fucking Alberto backstage on the hour. Lothario here plays acoustic guitar, because of course he does.

Jude

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Chibun
	Age:	22
	First Appearance:	Part 17

Jude is a distractingly handsome sculptor who works in the blacksmithing classroom at New Leaf Academy. (Don't look at me.) He asks Barry to get him the world's most sumptuous sculpting clay, only to abandon it immediately for a hunk of marble at HoYay Castle. Barry hopes he is not as fickle in his love life.

Alberto

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Chiken
	Age:	31
	First Appearance:	Part 17

The other male eye candy in The Burnt Village Slow Jam Experience, though he is a ginger with glasses who plays the double bass, so obviously he's a nerdy nerd and not a hit with the ladies like Pico. Not that it matters because they're soulmates, raising Annallee as their adopted daughter. So sayeth my fanfic.

Genshu

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Chiei
	Age:	37
	First Appearance:	Part 17

A swordsman who lives for the sword and dies by the sword and all this fucking guy will ever talk about is swords. He and Tessai should get together, but not within 500 feet of the Star Dragon Sword.

Pesmerga

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Teni
	Age:	?
	First Appearance:	Part 17

Yuber's evil twin. Or good twin? Who even knows? His entire personality and character arc revolve around Yuber, to the point that his name means "chasing Yuber." Ease up there, buddy.

Mazus

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Chizen
	Age:	87
	First Appearance:	Part 17

So are the wizards in this series just like the wizards in Harry Potter, in that they age very slowly? Because come the fuck on, this guy does not look 87.

Vincent de Boule

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	Chichin
	Age:	34
	First Appearance:	Part 17

Vincent, in the three years since Suikoden, has become BFFs with Simone and continued a life of Elizabethan-era luxury. Though he lavishes extravagant rose brooches on his friends, he thinks their friendship is the true treasure. C'est vrai, non? He is really, really, really gay.

Other characters

Rowd

	Nickname(s):	The Prick
	Star:	none
	Age:	29
	First Appearance:	Part 1

Captain of Barry and Jowy's unit in the Unicorn Brigade. More importantly, he's a total asshole who uses anyone and everyone possible in order to get promoted in the Highland Army. Thankfully, this behavior gets him nowhere.

Pohl

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	none
	Age:	?
	First Appearance:	Part 1

A self-important dweeb who managed to be special enough to get his own character portrait. Don't ask me; I don't know why, either. He enjoys bossing around "kids" at Viktor's mercenary fort, even though he's barely an adolescent himself, from the looks of things. But don't worry-he won't be around long enough to get too irritating.

Genkaku

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	none
	Age:	63 (deceased)
	First Appearance:	Part 2

Barry and Nanami's famous dad. Or grandpa. Or foster parent. Whatever. They aren't related by blood, but Barry nonetheless ends up inheriting Genkaku's old Bright Shield Rune, ensuring that everyone he meets looks at him as some kind of legacy kid. Barry and Nanami buried him under a penis stone.

Jillia Blight

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	none
	Age:	16
	First Appearance:	Part 2

Jillia Blight is Luca's younger sister and the Princess of Highland. Because she's an RPG Princess, she's very proper and polite and, of course, much saner than her big bro. Like that's saying anything. Be prepared to have several men make asses of themselves in front of her.

Bonaparte

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	none
	Age:	?
	First Appearance:	Part 2

Millie's pet demon pig. It is terrifying.

Pilika

	Nickname(s):	Lassie
	Star:	none
	Age:	6
	First Appearance:	Part 2

Pilika's family nursed Jowy back to health in Toto Village. Pilika calls him "Uncle Jowy," which makes me puke. She's a happy, healthy, sweet-as-sugar tot…. Gee, I wonder if anything bad will happen to her.

Solon Jhee

	Nickname(s):	Salon Jhee
	Star:	none
	Age:	31
	First Appearance:	Part 3

Head of the 2nd Company. He's extremely cocky, which may or may not be due to his masses of hair gel seeping into and corrupting his brain. He's Prince Luca's loyal right-hand man, which means he probably won't last until the end of the game.

Culgan

	Nickname(s):	Richard Gere
	Star:	none
	Age:	29
	First Appearance:	Part 3

One half of the Loyal Henchmen Duo of the Highland Army. Culgan is extremely serious and cautious, the sober yin to Seed's raging yang. This means they want each other. 39 million Culgan/Seed doujinshi artists can't be wrong.

Seed

	Nickname(s):	Julia Roberts
	Star:	none
	Age:	26
	First Appearance:	Part 3

Culgan's tag team buddy in Highland. He's a hothead who likes to attack first and think second. We rarely, if ever, see this attitude demonstrated by action in battle, but it must be true, because Exposition!Culgan said so.

Leknaat

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	none
	Age:	?
	First Appearance:	Part 3

Since the end of Suikoden I, Leknaat has gone from being the imperial horoscope chick to a general purveyor of magical exposition. The improved character artwork in this game allows us to see that she's really hot.

Elza

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	none
	Age:	?
	First Appearance:	Part 5

A scarred blonde lady running away from Clive because she stole some guns or something. She has a good time making Clive look like an idiot, which is a fun quality in a female RPG character.

Anabelle

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	none
	Age:	34
	First Appearance:	Part 5

The mayor of Muse, and Viktor's conveniently placed love interest. Despite that, she's a very capable lady and doesn't at all show the trappings of your typical RPG female. This, of course, means she's going to bite the big one sooner or later. Actually, sooner.

Gorudo

	Nickname(s):	Wart
	Star:	none
	Age:	37
	First Appearance:	Part 6

The Meanie!Leader of the Matilda Knights. He’s corrupt and cruel, and uses his position as liege lord of the Matilda Knights to get people to kiss his ass. But he gets his in the end, because ugly bad guys always do.

Makai

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	none
	Age:	31
	First Appearance:	Part 6

The weak-chinned, nancy-boy representative of Two River. He’s a big pussy and doesn’t want to fight the Highlanders. And he’s a bigoted elitist until he has his Big Revelation. Not much else to him.

Granmeyer

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	none
	Age:	52
	First Appearance:	Part 6

Granmeyer’s the Mayor of South Window. He must be dumb, if he trusts Viktor’s mercs farther than he can throw them. He further shows his dumbness by having Freed as his right-hand man. His crazy amounts of dumb get him killed, too. Just dumb.

Gustav Pendragon

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	none
	Age:	47
	First Appearance:	Part 6

Another of the Cornelius Fudge-like "let’s just stick our heads in the sand and pretend this isn’t happening" crowd of the City State. He kind of looks like Brock from Pokémon after about thirty years of aging.

Neclord

	Nickname(s):	The Count
	Star:	none
	Age:	?
	First Appearance:	Part 7

A "runic" vampire, which translates to a "it's okay that he has no real vampiric qualities because he's SPEESHUL." He's purple and has a, er, swishy cloak, but also likes little girls. He baffles me.

Star Dragon Sword

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	none
	Age:	?
	First Appearance:	Part 7

Viktor's long, hard sword. It's supposedly the incarnation of a True Rune, which means it can kill vampires good or somesuch. He's pretty high and mighty about this, and likes talking down to and bossing around Viktor. I guess Viktor really is ruled by his penis.

Fu Tan Chen

	Nickname(s):	Fukui-san
	Star:	none
	Age:	?
	First Appearance:	Part 12

The host of Iron Chef HoYay. Barry did not sign a purchase order for that bullhorn.

Yu Kum

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	none
	Age:	?
	First Appearance:	Part 12

The first chef to face Hai Yo in a cooking contest. He has the world's most amazing name, but it gives away the special secret ingredient in his tomato soup.

Agares Blight

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	none
	Age:	53
	First Appearance:	Part 13

The King of Highland, judging by the black hole of daddy issues that is his son, is probably not a nominee for World’s Greatest Dad. He’s probably not even that great a king, given all the knobs who work for him. But he wears purple robes with fur trim. So he has that going for him.

Goetsu

	Nickname(s):	Goatse
	Star:	none
	Age:	?
	First Appearance:	Part 13

The second chef to face Hai Yo. His specialty is buttered clams, which is not something Barry is interested in eating.

Varkas

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	none
	Age:	37
	First Appearance:	Part 13

Varkas went from leading a gang of mountain bandits to running the Toran Republic Border Patrol. He only gets a cast entry because Barry can’t teleport to Gregminster and therefore has to talk to Varkas like a thousand times.

Hanzo

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	none
	Age:	40
	First Appearance:	Part 13

Still the leader of Rokkaku Hamlet. Still a mysterious ninja in all black. Still not that interesting.

Lepant

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	none
	Age:	45
	First Appearance:	Part 13

The one-time usurper of PUGGY!!!’s penthouse penis tower at Penis Castle is now the leader of the entire Toran Republic. He sits on PUGGY!!!’s rightful throne, screws Alen and Grenseal on PUGGY!!!’s rightful shiny orange floor, and, of all the former members of PUGGY!!!’s army, makes his successor Barry choose between two ladies. Lepant is a bad man.

Sasarai

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	none
	Age:	17
	First Appearance:	Part 14

At Highland’s request, Sasarai leads a force of soldiers from Harmonia against the Yaoi Army. All we know about him for the moment is that he has a gigantic blue hat and a pile of twincest sexual tension with Luc.

Shiki

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	none
	Age:	?
	First Appearance:	Part 14

The third challenger to compete in Hai Yo’s kitchen. This one is off his meds or something and kills himself afterward, leaving poor Hai Yo to literally pry his cake recipe from his cold dead hands.

Ryuki

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	none
	Age:	?
	First Appearance:	Part 15

A chef who puts pesto on wonder bread and labels it a teriyaki sandwich. Don't look at me. When he is handily defeated by Barry and Hai Yo, he too kills himself, because he knows what really drives reality show ratings.

Bashok

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	none
	Age:	?
	First Appearance:	Part 15

The chef who makes Iron Chef HoYay into a personal struggle for Hai Yo. He has a deathly ill daughter, and Suikoland doesn't have Obamacare, so he's forced to work for the culinary mob to pay for her treatment. Or maybe they do have Obamacare! Wokka wokka wokka.

Gyokuran

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	none
	Age:	?
	First Appearance:	Part 15

An evil lady chef from Hai Yo's shady past with the Black Dragon Group. She doesn't wear a chef’s jacket because those are for the menz, obviously.

Ko

	Nickname(s):	Barry Jr.
	Star:	none
	Age:	?
	First Appearance:	Part 15

A young boy who idolizes his daddy Lord Barry so much that he can’t tell Barry and PUGGY!!! apart. He has the greatest plan in the history of great plans, and it's a complete shock when it goes wrong and he almost dies.

Ellie

	Nickname(s):	Wendy
	Star:	none
	Age:	?
	First Appearance:	Part 15

A young lady who loves square hamburgers and plaited pigtails. There is literally nothing else to her.

Gremio

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	none
	Age:	30
	First Appearance:	Part 15

Holy shit, Gremio isn't dead?! I know, I'm as shocked as you guys!

Tir McDohl

	Nickname(s):	PUGGY!!!
	Star:	none
	Age:	?
	First Appearance:	Part 15

You know who PUGGY!!! is. Stop it.

Cleo

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	none
	Age:	31
	First Appearance:	Part 15

Still living in the McDohl house, seemingly doing nothing but living off of PUGGY!!!'s inheritance.

Pahn

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	none
	Age:	32
	First Appearance:	Part 15

Pahn still likes to eat! And have sex with PUGGY!!!, probably!

Lilly Pendragon

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	none
	Age:	7
	First Appearance:	Part 16

The young daughter of Lord Gustav is the second of Neclord's redheaded female near-victims. Young Lilly dresses like a puritanical milkmaid and not like one of the Three Musketeers, but her awesomely bitchy attitude was apparently something she was born with.

Ryuko

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	none
	Age:	?
	First Appearance:	Part 17

Brother of Chef Ryuki. He makes a goddamn spinach cake for dessert, and after that he would have never found work in a restaurant ever again, so it's just as well that he offs himself like his brother.

Antonio

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	none
	Age:	39
	First Appearance:	Part 17

Antonio returns from Suikoden ostensibly just to cheer up his good friend Hai Yo with an unusually friendly cooking battle. He makes something called a "mayo rice omelet," which comes awfully close to putting me off all food forever.

Lucia

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	none
	Age:	22
	First Appearance:	Part 17

Before she got it on with a mystery man and gave birth to a whiny child with frosted tips, Lucia was a nubile young warrior tasked with assassinating Barry and protecting King Jowy. She hates Teresa, which alone should prove her competent to be the Karayan Chief.

Yuber

	Nickname(s):	none
	Star:	none
	Age:	?
	First Appearance:	Part 17

Still favoring black plate and a horned helmet, as he is not yet in his white Michael Jackson phase. He is a general for the Highland Army, and it should go without saying that having Yuber on your side in a conflict is proof that your plans are bad for everyone around you, Jowy.