Contents
Major characters
Cecilia Adelhyde
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Nickname(s): | none |
| Age: | 17 | |
| First Appearance: | Part 1 |
A star member of the Cliché Trio, Cecilia is perhaps most deserving of membership -- she almost reads like a Mary Sue checklist: Young, blonde, revered princess? Check. Magic user? Check. Ability to communicate with sacred beings? Check. Suffering from dream-like visions? Check. Burdened with the inescapable destiny of saving the world? Check. Holder of Mystical-Artifact-With-The-Power-To-End-All? Fucking check. Oh yeah, and she's the Innocent One. Get it? You will after the 384690186727th time it's been shoved down your throat.
Jack Van Burace
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Nickname(s): | Indy |
| Age: | 27 | |
| First Appearance: | Part 1 |
The second member of the Cliché Trio is a carefree, throw-caution-to-the-wind Dream Chaser/treasure hunter in the Indiana Jones style. Like all such characters, his happy-go-lucky, jokey nature hides a Mysterious-and-Tragic-Past™. YAAAWWWN. Jack is accompanied by his pet rat Wind Mouse, Hanpan. As Jack's older than 25, expect no end of "old man" references.
Rudy Roughknight
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Nickname(s): | none |
| Age: | 15 | |
| First Appearance: | Part 1 |
Rudy Roughknight (I'm not shitting you here) is one of the Cliché Trio and a lonely Dream Chaser who just wants to be accepted into society. However, people usually run scared because of his large penis ARM. Can't have it all, right? Luckily, being liked will be the last thing on Rudy's mind when he rises up to save the world from a great evil. And hold a large penis ARM. Did I mention he has a large penis ARM? Oh, and he's the hero. A silent one.
Zeikfried
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Nickname(s): | Lord Zedd |
| Age: | ? | |
| First Appearance: | Part 4 |
Zeikfried is the acting leader of the demons while they await the revival of Mother. Despite pretty much being a placeholder, he acts like a big shot with his mighty penis extension Dark Spear, thrusting it at anyone who dares to oppose him. There isn't much more to him than that, which makes it even more tragic that he's one of the main villains in the game.
Jane Maxwell
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Nickname(s): | Calamity Jane |
| Age: | 14 | |
| First Appearance: | Part 5 |
Jane, despite her young age, is famous across Feelgayer for being a skilled bounty hunter. She's obsessed with money, but we discover eventually she's more of a Robin Hood than a robbin' hood. Oh, and just like Rudy, she has a PENIS. Shocker!
Mother
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Nickname(s): | Rita Repulsa |
| Age: | ? | |
| First Appearance: | Part 6 |
Leader of the Demons, aka Power Rangers Villains. Okay, so she technically appeared as early as Part 1, but we only get to see what she looks like once she emerges from her gross cocoon. A nihilist with an insatiable appetite for destruction, she also has some decidedly abnormal eating habits.
Other characters
Garrett
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Nickname(s): | none |
| Age: | ? | |
| First Appearance: | Part 1 |
Not much is known about Garrett, aside from the fact that a) he likes spitting on the ground, and b) he's one of the two Fenril Knights with any lasting significance to the plot whatsoever. He is involved with Elmina, although their love affair doesn't last long. We may or may not see him later, in a different guise...
Elmina
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Nickname(s): | none |
| Age: | ? | |
| First Appearance: | Part 1 |
Elmina, the Sword Princess, is the other of the two Fenril Knights with any lasting significance to the plot whatsoever. She appears to be competent in battle, which is a shame as we never get to use her. We may or may not see her later, in a different guise...
Alhazad
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Nickname(s): | none |
| Age: | ? | |
| First Appearance: | Part 1 |
He of the demon-ness and freaky appearance, Alhazad shows his eeeevil side early on by reducing a few random Knights to white sparkles. If he wants to work on his menacing side, dropping the white sheet would be a good place to start.
Hanpan
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Nickname(s): | Scabbers |
| Age: | ? | |
| First Appearance: | Part 1 |
Jack's rat, Hanpan tries to pass himself off as a Wind Mouse, but fools no-one. He's one of the most likeable characters in the game, which is a shame as his involvement consists of being flung across chasms to hit switches. Hey, it's a tough job, but someone's gotta do it.
Emma
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Nickname(s): | none |
| Age: | ? | |
| First Appearance: | Part 2 |
A female scientist/professor along the lines of Momo and Lucca, Emma enlists the help of the Cliché Trio to rid Lolithia's Tomb of the nasty monsters and help her get on with her damn excavation. And...that's it. She's kinda just there. Oh, and she's very proud of her self-named machine. Don't you forget it.
Lolithia
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Nickname(s): | The Iron Woman |
| Age: | Ancient | |
| First Appearance: | Part 2 |
Lolithia, mentioned roughly 79341253,000,000 times in the game's opening hour, turns out to be a dormant iron golem who is discovered by Emma and the Cliché Trio deep in the bowels of her tomb. Lolithia's, not Emma's. A cookie for whoever figured out that she probably won't stay dormant for very long. I feel a little wary about including her here, as she isn't exactly a key member of the cast, but I think her countless mentions so far justify it.
Belselk
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Nickname(s): | Squatt |
| Age: | ? | |
| First Appearance: | Part 2 |
The game's first villain, Belselk doesn't really do much apart from laugh evilly. He's as minor a villain as you can get, and this, coupled with his "comic-relief-that-is-neither-comic-nor-relief" act, just like his namesake, earns him his nickname.
King Adlehyde
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Nickname(s): | none |
| Age: | ? | |
| First Appearance: | Part 3 |
The ruler of Adlehyde. That's pretty much it. He spends all of his screen time on his deathbed, which is a pretty good clue that he isn't going to become a major character. He's also half-responsible for spawning Cesuelia, so any sadness I may have felt at his death is cancelled out by default.
Minister Johan
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Nickname(s): | none |
| Age: | ? | |
| First Appearance: | Part 3 |
Johan plays about as big a role as the king, which isn't saying much. Whaddaya mean, "You're just trying to pad out the cast list"?
Lady Harken
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Nickname(s): | Scorpina |
| Age: | ? | |
| First Appearance: | Part 4 |
Harken, one quarter of the...um...Quarter Knights, is the only female demon we know of, at least until Mother wakes from her long-ass sleep. She has pink hair and is handy with a weapon...sound like anyone else we know? Just a coincidence, surely. She and Indy end up cultivating quite the volatile rivalry, although they probably secretly want each other.
Zed
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Nickname(s): | Baboo |
| Age: | ? | |
| First Appearance: | Part 4 |
The idol of Wild Arms fanboys everywhere, Zed is the lowest-ranked in the demons' inner circle. He has lofty ambitions and an inflated sense of self-worth, but is constantly held down by The Big Man. Basically, he's the demon equivalent of an admin assistant. We share a common bond, and for that reason I can't hate him too much. He still annoys the everloving shit out of me, though. I suppose he wouldn't be a WA character if he didn't.
McDullen Harts
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Nickname(s): | McDull |
| Age: | 51 | |
| First Appearance: | Part 5 |
McDullen (Magdalen in the revised translation) is almost a complete nonentity, serving as both a bodyguard and butler to Jane. He's briefly playable in the remake, and even then is about as interesting as watching Tidus painting a wall.
Bartholomew
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Nickname(s): | Barty, Captain Seymour |
| Age: | 35 | |
| First Appearance: | Part 5 |
Let's not beat about the bush here; Barty likes 'em young. It's even in the script. Captain of the Ass Candy, he's actually a pretty decent character, not that you'd know it from his first appearance. And hey, he eventually gives the party his boat, so he can't be all bad.