Final Fantasy X-2 cast

Major characters

Yuna

	Nickname(s):	none
	Age:	19
	First Appearance:	Part 1

Anyone who knows anything about this game will have told you that Yuna has "changed" since she and her friends defeated Sin. She's extroverted, she's no longer naïve, she's independent, et cetera. Actually, she's still the same irritating, moronic wimp we knew before--she's just showing a lot more skin so we think she's bolder. And just to mix things up, she's being possessed by a dead summoner/songwriter.

Rikku

	Nickname(s):	none
	Age:	17
	First Appearance:	Part 1

When we last left Rikku in Final Fantasy X, she was a perky, spastic jailbait girl who was "obviously" fucking Auron. Other than growing her hair a couple of feet and shedding most of her clothing, she hasn't changed much: she's still spastic and perky, she's still illegal, and she's as good as getting freaky with Auron (see: Paine).

Paine

	Nickname(s):	none
	Age:	18
	First Appearance:	Part 1

Paine, on the surface, is a leather-wearing, monotoning, lesbian version of Auron. But once you get to know her...I don't know how to finish this sentence. Paine apparently has a bunch of secrets in her past, which may or may not have to do with being jilted by three hot guys and deciding to play for the home team as a result.

Leblanc

	Nickname(s):	Lesbianc
	Age:	Extremely old (over 20)
	First Appearance:	Part 1

Leblanc runs, seemingly, the only other show in town when it comes to hunting spheres. She takes great joy in putting down Yuna and the "Dullwings," even if Yuna is too dumb to understand. This is nothing, though, to the joy she takes in erotic massages from other women. Yeah, you heard me.

Brother

	Nickname(s):	none
	Age:	?
	First Appearance:	Part 1

Rikku's creatively named older brother. After a spat with his old man, Brother went and found himself his own airship, painted it up like a French whore, and started his own sphere-hunting group. He's in love with his cousin, but seeing as his cousin is Yuna, you can't blame him. Everyone loves Yuuuuuuna.

Gippal

	Nickname(s):	none
	Age:	18
	First Appearance:	Part 4

Gippal is an Al Bhed, and the leader of the Machina Machine Faction stationed at Bikanel and Djose Temple. Despite all the easy Tidus comparisons, he's actually a cool guy and--dare I say this word in the same sentence as "Tidus"?--hot. He seems to know Paine, but I doubt there's anything suspicious going on there.

Baralai

	Nickname(s):	none
	Age:	20
	First Appearance:	Part 5

The praetor of New Yevon. On one hand, he is quite hot. On the other hand, he is sort of creepy and wears his underwear on the outside of his pants. On one hand, he's in the top 5% of Spiran men. On the other hand, that's not saying much. I'd probably do him if he weren't fictional and gay.

Nooj

	Nickname(s):	N00b
	Age:	21
	First Appearance:	Part 6

The final member of FFX-2's Ambiguously Gay Trio, Nooj is a bonehead thrown to all the weepy, disillusioned Auron fans out there who want their Red-Coated One back with a vengeance. And to be fair, our Noogie-woogie is sporting plenty of that lovely crimson color, but that's where the comparison ends. Nooj is our supposed dark horse, with his war wounds, his death wish, and his long-suffering angst, but honestly, it's nothing a few mood elevators and a hammer can't fix. Go listen to some K.C. and the Sunshine Band and shut up, Nooj. And cut off that goddamned ponytail, why don't you?

Other characters

Logos

	Nickname(s):	Laurel
	Age:	?
	First Appearance:	Part 1

A severely unhappy-looking thin man who works for the Leblanc Syndicate. As if his unrequited lust for his boss weren't enough to make him miserable, he has to be the straight man in a thin-man-fat-man comic tandem. And the poor bastard is a gunner, so his professional sensibilities must scream in agony whenever he sees Yuna handle her pistols.

Ormi

	Nickname(s):	Hardy
	Age:	?
	First Appearance:	Part 1

Ormi is Logos's life partner in crime, and therefore responsible for at least one-half of the annoying comic villainy in this game. Actually, as Ormi is the fat one, and therefore cannot ever be taken seriously, it's significantly more than one-half.

Buddy

	Nickname(s):	none
	Age:	?
	First Appearance:	Part 1

Buddy is Brother's best friend and co-founder of the Gullwings. Buddy's purpose in life seems to be to show us players that there are Al Bhed who aren't psychotic, homicidal, hyperactive or just plain weird. Oh, and he be the Token Black Man.

Shinra

	Nickname(s):	none
	Age:	?
	First Appearance:	Part 1

A weird little kid with bad sinuses and a gas mask (allergy problems?), Shinra is the resident genius aboard El Celsioso. When he's not analyzing spheres or writing new tutorials, the bitch, Shinra is an avid player of Sphere Break, because he's a kid and kids are good at stupid games.

Barkeep

	Nickname(s):	Steve
	Age:	?
	First Appearance:	Part 1

Barkeep is a Hypello who--surprise!--runs the bar aboard Brother's airship. Although he's assigned the important duties of keeping people rested, selling healing items and watching the booze, no one even thinks to ask him his name. Poor guy, being held down by the Man like that.

Wakka

	Nickname(s):	none
	Age:	26
	First Appearance:	Part 2

The same pot-smoking blitzball player from FFX except for two things -- he's about to become a dad, and he's hugely fat. Well, the second one is totally in the minds of the game designers. Wakka, though dumb as ever, has at least shed the irritating bigoted religious stuff, so he's almost tolerable this time around.

Lulu

	Nickname(s):	none
	Age:	24
	First Appearance:	Part 2

Lulu's impending pregnancy has not seemed to slow down her brain, as she's still as full of intelligent advice as ever. Well, I guess the brain thing is debatable, as she allowed herself to become impregnated by Wakka. I need to drink heavily to get rid of that mental image now.

Rin

	Nickname(s):	none
	Age:	?
	First Appearance:	Part 2

No longer satisfied with simply running a travel company, Rin is now involved in some of the most heinous minigames known to mankind. Whether forcing us to do basic addition, or forcing us to jump through hoops in order to get one of the coolest items in the game, this guy is all about the sadistic bullshit. Jerk.

Clasko

	Nickname(s):	none
	Age:	?
	First Appearance:	Part 3

Our misfit Chocobo Knight is at it again, following Elma and Lucil wherever they go in the hopes it'll make him seem less pathetic. It doesn't.

Elma

	Nickname(s):	none
	Age:	?
	First Appearance:	Part 3

Like Clasko, Elma has followed her beloved Captain Lucil into the Youth League, fighting for Spira's future, or at least the chance to get off that damned chocobo and stretch her legs once in a while.

Lucil

	Nickname(s):	none
	Age:	?
	First Appearance:	Part 3

Ah, young, idealistic, passionate Captain Lucil. Lucil hasn't changed much since the last time we saw her. No one has. Jesus, what's with you people? Oh, yeah. Lazy game designers. My bad.

Maroda

	Nickname(s):	none
	Age:	?
	First Appearance:	Part 3

Isaaru's brother, freed from his commitment as a guardian has spread his wings and joined the Youth League. He spends his days not speaking to his older brother and moping down in the Den of Woe.

Yaibal

	Nickname(s):	none
	Age:	?
	First Appearance:	Part 3

A member of the Youth League. He's annoying, full of himself, and wanky. Just Yuna's type.

Tobli

	Nickname(s):	none
	Age:	?
	First Appearance:	Part 4

A freaky little midget with a beak and an army of slave labor Hypello prostitutes. Tobli is an entrepreneur in the entertainment business, not unlike Rin. But very unlike Rin, he pimps out Hypello and speaks in a really high-pitched, extremely fast voice.

Bayra

	Nickname(s):	none
	Age:	?
	First Appearance:	Part 5

A member of the WTF Trio. He's a humanoid bird wearing a feather headdress who speaks like a Native American. His hobbies include strumming his harp and talking about the sad fate of the forest. This guy is so the life of the party.

Donga

	Nickname(s):	none
	Age:	?
	First Appearance:	Part 5

Another member of the WTF Trio. He's this weird blue thing with a funny hat. And, as you might expect, he speaks with a Scottish accent. When he's not banging his drum, he's talking to unseen friends and teleporting about the forest.

Pukutak

	Nickname(s):	none
	Age:	?
	First Appearance:	Part 5

The third member of the WTF Trio. She -- or he -- looks like a mouse with weird funnels sticking out everywhere. These are possibly bongs. She speaks in rhyme, mostly about the forest sucking ass.

Tromell Guado

	Nickname(s):	none
	Age:	?
	First Appearance:	Part 5

At one time he was Seymour's right hand Guado, but now he's dealing with the consequences of being a creepy pedo. He's stuck out in the forest with the other Guado, and since there's nothing else to do but sit around feeling sorry for himself, he does so. In spades.

O'aka

	Nickname(s):	none
	Age:	?
	First Appearance:	Part 5

Once just a simple merchant with exorbitant prices, he's now on the run from debt collectors. Instead of leaving him to his deserved fate, Yuna takes him in and pays off his fucking debt. Sometimes I really want to shoot this game.

Nhadala

	Nickname(s):	none
	Age:	?
	First Appearance:	Part 5

A hot Al Bhed chick in tight leather, Nhadala leads the exciting digging expedition in Bikanel Desert. She may or may not be doing it with Cid, depending on how you interpret certain scenes later in the game.

Picket

	Nickname(s):	none
	Age:	?
	First Appearance:	Part 5

A communication device or a guy speaking through a communication device. He probably doesn't even warrant an entry on this page, but the last thing I want is some crazed Picket fangirl stalking me, so here you go.

Kimahri

	Nickname(s):	none
	Age:	27
	First Appearance:	Part 5

Yuna's ex-guardian, now the elder of the Ronso. Even though we were led to think he was quite the badass in FFX, we now see that Kimahri isn't the most effective leader. At least he's getting some tail. Literally.

Garik

	Nickname(s):	Garprick
	Age:	?
	First Appearance:	Part 5

Kimahri's latest nemesis. He is quite vocal about Kimahri's lack of leadership skills. If only there were some perfect young woman who could right all the wrongs of the world and help Garik to see the light. Gag.

Isaaru

	Nickname(s):	Gay Ponytail Man
	Age:	?
	First Appearance:	Part 5

An ex-summoner once obsessed with Lord Braska. He was last seen fighting against Yuna -- or more accurately, slumped over from getting his ass kicked. He now works for Cid at the Zanarkand ruins as a psycho game show host. Well, that's certainly more interesting than 99% of the characters in the game.

Pacce

	Nickname(s):	none
	Age:	?
	First Appearance:	Part 5

Isaaru's brother and former guardian. Though he's a kid, he hasn't changed in two years. He's now the leader of his own underage sphere hunter group. They appear to be about as good as the other sphere hunters in Spira. Of course, that's not saying much.

Taro

	Nickname(s):	none
	Age:	?
	First Appearance:	Part 5

Another member of Pacce's sphere hunter group, the Kinderguardians. He...uh...wears a helmet. Seriously, do I need to include this kid in the list?

Hana

	Nickname(s):	none
	Age:	?
	First Appearance:	Part 5

The third member of the Kinderguardians. Most likely a girl. Also unimportant.

Cid

	Nickname(s):	none
	Age:	?
	First Appearance:	Part 5

Rikku and Brother's crazy-ass dad. He seems even more spastic and psychotic than he was two years ago. He has a new business in Zanarkand that doesn't meet with Yuna's approval. And I'm not talking about a brothel -- she'd probably be all over that.

Beclem

	Nickname(s):	none
	Age:	?
	First Appearance:	Part 7

Beclem is an uptight butthole who verbally and sexually abuses the Besaid Aurochs while their Cap'n Wakka is distracted by all-consuming thought of his Wakka-baby. He is responsible for the vile mini-game of the damned known as the Gunner's Gauntlet, but he also gets honorary recapper status because he's so good at ripping on Yuna.

Shelinda

	Nickname(s):	none
	Age:	?
	First Appearance:	Part 7

Shelinda may not be as judgmental and self-righteous as she was two years ago, but that doesn't mean she's not wanky and annoying. She has successfully transferred this ability to bug the fuck out of anyone she meets to the fast-paced world of TV news.

Calli

	Nickname(s):	none
	Age:	?
	First Appearance:	Part 7

Two years ago Calli was a small girl who begged Yuna to bring the Calm, which made Tidus speak in Wankese. Now she brings out the Wankese in Yuna, and she's a wee bit more...developed than before. She also has a total chocobo fetish, which probably means she and Clasko star in all sorts of horrible NC-17 fanfiction together.

Lian

	Nickname(s):	none
	Age:	?
	First Appearance:	Part 9

One of two Ronso children to run away from Mt. Gagazet in search of the broken tip of Kimahri’s horn. Don’t all shout “Just the tip?” at once.

Ayde

	Nickname(s):	none
	Age:	?
	First Appearance:	Part 9

The other Ronso kid. This one is female, so obviously she is less assertive and talkative. But I thought this was Final Feminism X-2!