Contents
Major characters
Tidus
|
Nickname(s): | Tightass |
| Age: | 17 | |
| First Appearance: | Part 1 |
He's a wanker. He's also a jock -- the star blitzball player for the Zanarkand Abes. When something called Sin destroys his hometown, and he gets sucked into Sin's giant ass void, he ends up....somewhere else. But he doesn't become any less annoying.
Auron
|
Nickname(s): | none |
| Age: | 35 | |
| First Appearance: | Part 1 |
A mysterious older guy. Okay, he's not that old, but since he's older than 18, he's a fogey. We only know two things about him at this point: he has some connection with Tidus's dad, and he's a million times cooler than Tidus, who is a wanker.
Rikku
|
Nickname(s): | ???? |
| Age: | 15 | |
| First Appearance: | Part 1 |
Poor Rikku. The game designers thought it would be "fun" to give her a tight bodysuit with a strap in the crotch. Ouch. Rikku is an Al Bhed, and all we know about them so far is they speak a different language and they don't like Tidus too much because he's a wanker. Rikku doesn't seem to mind him though. Unlike me.
Wakka
|
Nickname(s): | none |
| Age: | 24 | |
| First Appearance: | Part 2 |
He's an overly religious, pot-smoking blitzball player and guardian. He takes Tidus under his wing because Tidus resembles his dead brother. That doesn't explain all the touchy-feely ass-grabbing stuff, though.
Lulu
|
Nickname(s): | none |
| Age: | 22 | |
| First Appearance: | Part 2 |
Drooling fanboys will remember her as "the chick with the giant boobs". I, however, will remember her as a sarcastic, bitchy guardian who is always ripping on Tidus because he's a wanker. She's just like me -- well, except for the "guardian" and "giant boobs" part.
Yuna
|
Nickname(s): | none |
| Age: | 17 | |
| First Appearance: | Part 2 |
She's a summoner, and the main love interest. Yes, that means that she will eventually get with wanky old Tidus. There is no other plot point in the entire game as sad as that one.
Jecht
|
Nickname(s): | none |
| Age: | ? | |
| First Appearance: | Part 2 |
He's Tidus's "old man." He used to play for the Zanarkand Abes, but he died ten years ago. OR DID HE? Okay, he didn't. He likes to call Tidus a crybaby, and I have to give him props for that.
Kimahri
|
Nickname(s): | none |
| Age: | 25 | |
| First Appearance: | Part 3 |
He's a big, blue lion. That's about all we know. He doesn't seem to like Tidus, though, so he can't be all that bad.
Mika
|
Nickname(s): | none |
| Age: | ? | |
| First Appearance: | Part 5 |
The leader of Spira, and one of the four maesters. He's really, really old. I'm sure we won't find out anything sinister about him. At all.
Seymour Guado
|
Nickname(s): | Winnie the Pedophile |
| Age: | 28 | |
| First Appearance: | Part 5 |
Intended to be the pretty long-haired bishounen, instead he turned out to be a bad mixture of Kuja, Winnie the Pooh, and a pedophile. Of course, he is a priest.
Braska
|
Nickname(s): | none |
| Age: | ? | |
| First Appearance: | Part 12 |
Yuna's dead dad, the last High Summoner. His guardians, as we know, were Tidus's "old man" and a younger, pissier Auron. There's some speculation that the three were more than just good friends, probably because of the amount of alcohol consumed on their trip.
Cid
|
Nickname(s): | none |
| Age: | ? | |
| First Appearance: | Part 14 |
Rikku's dad, Yuna's uncle, and the leader of the Al Bhed. He wears a unit-displaying yellow jumpsuit, but despite his poor fashion sense, the guy is actually not that bad. He doesn't take any shit from Tidus, or from anyone else for that matter. He's a bit of a spaz, though.
Other characters
Luzzu
|
Nickname(s): | none |
| Age: | ? | |
| First Appearance: | Part 2 |
He's a crusader from Besaid. He looks like he has a bad dye job and wears lipstick. Of course this is a Final Fantasy game, so it's not like that's a shock.
Gatta
|
Nickname(s): | none |
| Age: | ? | |
| First Appearance: | Part 2 |
The wankery half of the Besaid crusader duo. He wears a thong over his shorts, and if that isn't enough of a sign that he's a wanker, he also whines a lot and likes Tidus.
O'aka
|
Nickname(s): | none |
| Age: | ? | |
| First Appearance: | Part 3 |
The merchant who precedes Tidus and co. to each and every destination. He's determined to become the greatest merchant EVAR, but of course his prices rape people up the ass.
Dona
|
Nickname(s): | Thonga |
| Age: | ? | |
| First Appearance: | Part 4 |
A summoner, like Yuna. Unlike Yuna, however, she is a complete beeyotch. She wears a thong up her ass, which might explain the crankiness.
Barthello
|
Nickname(s): | none |
| Age: | ? | |
| First Appearance: | Part 4 |
Dona's guardian. The only reason he puts up with her is that he has the intellect of a rock. Although Dona seems to have more than a platonic relationship with him, he's still all over Auron. Well, who isn't?
Biran
|
Nickname(s): | Hans |
| Age: | ? | |
| First Appearance: | Part 5 |
One of the two huge-ass Ronsos who like to bully Kimahri. Off the top of my head, I think he's the one with the disturbingly detailed codpiece, but I'm not going to doublecheck my guess. I'd like to keep my stomach contents intact, thanks.
Yenke
|
Nickname(s): | Franz |
| Age: | ? | |
| First Appearance: | Part 5 |
The other Ronso bully. The two of them together sound like Hans and Franz from SNL. It's a tad difficult to take them seriously after realizing that.
Maechen
|
Nickname(s): | Exposition!Man |
| Age: | ? | |
| First Appearance: | Part 6 |
He's this old scholar guy who always just happens to be in the area explaining shit to our resident wanker. Unfortunately, no matter how hard Maechen tries, he is unable to cure Tidus's extreme ignorance. Like that's a surprise.
Lucil
|
Nickname(s): | none |
| Age: | ? | |
| First Appearance: | Part 6 |
The captain of the Chocobo Knights. She has an extremely uncomfortable-looking camel toe. I'm sure fanboys like that.
Elma
|
Nickname(s): | none |
| Age: | ? | |
| First Appearance: | Part 6 |
Another one of the Chocobo Knights. Luckily, her outfit seems a tad more comfortable than Lucil's.
Belgemine
|
Nickname(s): | Princess Leia |
| Age: | ? | |
| First Appearance: | Part 6 |
A random summoner who keeps popping up in order to test Yuna's skills. No, not like that. She wears these bun things on the side of her head, hence her nickname.
Shelinda
|
Nickname(s): | none |
| Age: | ? | |
| First Appearance: | Part 6 |
An annoying acolyte who not only buys into the Yevon bullshit, but spreads it to everyone who will listen. She's extremely self-righteous and basically needs to die.
Rin
|
Nickname(s): | none |
| Age: | ? | |
| First Appearance: | Part 7 |
An Al Bhed guy who owns a lot of inns. He always just happens to be at each one as the party arrives. He's obsessed with teaching Tightass the Al Bhed language, maybe so he can tell him off in his native tongue.
Clasko
|
Nickname(s): | none |
| Age: | ? | |
| First Appearance: | Part 7 |
The third Chocobo Knight, and the one that provides comic relief. He's a joke among his comrades, not unlike Tightass.
Kinoc
|
Nickname(s): | none |
| Age: | ? | |
| First Appearance: | Part 8 |
One of the four maesters and an old friend of Auron's. He's the only person in the whole game who gets to hug our favorite guardian, which has probably translated into lots of fanfiction and doujinshi. Let's just not think about that.
Isaaru
|
Nickname(s): | Gay Ponytail Man |
| Age: | ? | |
| First Appearance: | Part 9 |
Yet another summoner. He has an extremely girly hairdo, and in general, is not very masculine. It's a Final Fantasy game, so that's no surprise. He idolizes Lord Braska, but has a friendly competition going with Yuna to see who beats Sin first. Because it's all about winning.
Pacce
|
Nickname(s): | none |
| Age: | ? | |
| First Appearance: | Part 9 |
A little kid who is Isaaru's guardian, and supposedly his brother (see: Maroda). I'm extremely skeptical as to whether Pacce can actually perform his duties as a guardian, but then again Yuna made Tidus a guardian and we all know how useless he is.
Maroda
|
Nickname(s): | none |
| Age: | ? | |
| First Appearance: | Part 9 |
Isaaru's guardian and gay lover -- I mean, brother. Um, yeah right. You know those two are boffing.
Brother
|
Nickname(s): | none |
| Age: | ? | |
| First Appearance: | Part 14 |
The Al Bhed guy with the mohawk who shows up for pretty much every scene involving the Al Bhed. Turns out he's Rikku's brother. And his name is Brother. God, that must have taken some real creative brain power.
Kelk Ronso
|
Nickname(s): | James Earl Jones |
| Age: | ? | |
| First Appearance: | Part 16 |
He's the fourth maester of Yevon, who has been conspicuously absent at every single Yevony event thus far. He's also a joke among his colleagues, but since they consist of two creepy dead guys and one creepy live guy, that's not really anything to feel bad about.
Yunalesca
|
Nickname(s): | Thongaladriel |
| Age: | Over 1000 | |
| First Appearance: | Part 20 |
The original summoner who defeated Sin, she still resides in Zanarkand bestowing the Final Aeon upon whoever makes it to her doorstep. Oh, and she's dead. Her "true" form is not very feminine, if you catch my drift.