Contents
Major characters
Ryudo
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Nickname(s): | none |
| Age: | 17 | |
| First Appearance: | Part 1 |
Quite obviously a Squall ripoff, Ryudo goes several steps further in the sarcasm department. At 17, he's already bitter and world-weary. Unfortunately, a chick comes along and turns him into a twitterpated people-loving wanker.
Skye
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Nickname(s): | none |
| Age: | ~40 | |
| First Appearance: | Part 1 |
Skye is Ryudo's gay falcon buddy. He seems to be convinced that Ryudo shares his...preferences, but that doesn't stop him from constantly teasing Ryudo about women.
Elena
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Nickname(s): | Mary Sue |
| Age: | 17 | |
| First Appearance: | Part 1 |
She's young, pretty, innocent, demure, religious, and has a beautiful singing voice. That's right, she's Mary Sue. Despite being completely annoying, she manages to be one of Ryudo's love interests. Gag.
Millenia
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Nickname(s): | Mary Sue 2 |
| Age: | ? | |
| First Appearance: | Part 1 |
Whereas Elena is the innocent, pure Mary Sue, Millenia is the hot, winged, demonic Mary Sue. She's evil with a heart of gold, although that makes no sense. She wants Ryudo and Ryudo wants her, even though he also wants Elena. Check out the plot "twist" that allows Ryudo to have his Mary Sue and eat her, too. Oh wait, let me rephrase that....
Roan
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Nickname(s): | Tidink |
| Age: | 13 | |
| First Appearance: | Part 2 |
A boy who looks like the lovechild of Tidus and Link, as horrifying as that may be to contemplate. His ponytail and earrings only contribute to his extremely masculine appearance. He's obsessed with his dead mom's medal, to the point where he's willing to die to get it back. No, he's completely balanced.
Mareg
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Nickname(s): | Ludo |
| Age: | Late 30s | |
| First Appearance: | Part 3 |
Just your average stereotypical beast man character, Mareg breaks the mold slightly by using more pretentious English than your typical LJ elitist. However, like any other beast man, he relies on his keen sense of smell to detect danger. Translation: he never shuts the fuck up about how bad everything smells. Or, rather, SMELLS.
Selene
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Nickname(s): | none |
| Age: | 23 | |
| First Appearance: | Part 5 |
This High Priestess and creepy religious zealot enjoys walks on the beach, a candlelit dinner for two, and killing innocent people under the guise of purifying Darkness. But what fun is being a high-ranking member of a church without a little killin'? Wouldn't it be a total surprise if she were actually evil?
Other characters
Gadan
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Nickname(s): | none |
| Age: | ? | |
| First Appearance: | Part 4 |
Gadan is the leader of Liligue City, and the only one not affected by the food curse. Quite the opposite. He is greedy for money, greedy for food, and not greedy for sex because he's fat and fat people don't get laid.
Aira
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Nickname(s): | Samara |
| Age: | ? | |
| First Appearance: | Part 5 |
This little girl, in addition to being freakier than a Tidus with two heads, is the latest victim of Valmar. Her blindness was miraculously cured, so now she hangs out all alone in a magical garden. Yeah, I don't know.
Sandra
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Nickname(s): | none |
| Age: | ? | |
| First Appearance: | Part 5 |
Aira's mom, and the village scapegoat. Everyone hates Sandra, but loves Aira. Even though Sandra is the more normal of the two. Green hair notwithstanding.
Pope Zera
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Nickname(s): | none |
| Age: | 58 | |
| First Appearance: | Part 8 |
Apart from the fugly character art that isn't as apparent onscreen, there's nothing about Pope Zera that rings any "This guy is fucking evil" alarm bells. He doesn't even seem all that much like a child molester, even though he likes teenage boys to find phallic weapons for him -- there's still no major Seymour vibes here. But he's a religious leader in a video game, and we all know what that means -- yup, he's the game's bad guy. We're not supposed to know that yet, so don't tell anyone.
Cardinal Oro
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Nickname(s): | none |
| Age: | ? | |
| First Appearance: | Part 9 |
Every workplace needs a whiny, irritating butthole, and in the Granas Cathedral, that person is Oro. Whether he's openly questioning Pope Zera's methods or just bitching about him behind his back, Oro never shuts up. Granted, he's right about the pope, considering the guy turns out to be a psycho, but that's no reason to be so God damn irritating about it.