(→Flare En Kuldes) |
(→Dario) |
||
Line 383: | Line 383: | ||
|} | |} | ||
− | The fat, ugly comic relief pirate, Dario is made a fool of for ninety percent of his screen time in this game. Because he is fat and ugly. Get it?! But unlike his pretty comrades, we know for a fact that Dario has gotten laid at least once in his life, since he has a son daughter. | + | The fat, ugly comic relief pirate, Dario is made a fool of for ninety percent of his screen time in this game. Because he is fat and ugly. Get it?! But unlike his pretty comrades, we know for a fact that Dario has gotten laid at least once in his life, since he has a <strike>son</strike> daughter. |
==== Nalleo ==== | ==== Nalleo ==== |
Revision as of 13:29, 15 May 2013
Characters in each section are listed in order of recap appearance.
Contents
- 1 Major characters
- 2 Stars of Destiny
- 2.1 Katarina
- 2.2 Chiepoo
- 2.3 Gunter
- 2.4 Adrienne
- 2.5 Ramada
- 2.6 Akaghi
- 2.7 Mizuki
- 2.8 Konrad
- 2.9 Basil
- 2.10 Funghi
- 2.11 Dario
- 2.12 Nalleo
- 2.13 Lilin
- 2.14 Desmond
- 2.15 Flare En Kuldes
- 2.16 Yu
- 2.17 Nabokov
- 2.18 Ornan
- 2.19 Setsu
- 2.20 Louise
- 2.21 Tov
- 2.22 Chadli
- 2.23 Ema
- 2.24 Gary
- 2.25 Noah
- 2.26 Perrault
- 2.27 Bang
- 2.28 Bartholomew
- 2.29 Rita
- 2.30 Reinhold
- 2.31 Mitsuba
- 2.32 Selma
- 2.33 Rakgi
- 2.34 Rikie
- 2.35 Manu
- 3 Other characters
Major characters
Lazlo (Hero)
Nickname(s): | Marvin Gaye | |
Star: | Tenkai | |
Age: | ? | |
First Appearance: | Part 1 |
Our hero starts out as one of many Knights of Gaien and as the best friend and slave of one Snowe Vingerhut. And as we all know, best friend + slave = sex partner. He ends up with the totally shitty Rune of Punishment, because that's just what happens to heroes in Suikoden, but he's still much more bitter about Snowe dumping him like a prick than anything else.
Snowe Vingerhut
Nickname(s): | none | |
Star: | Tenan | |
Age: | 19 | |
First Appearance: | Part 1 |
Snowe is the hottest, richest young thing in Razril. As such, he's handed sweet positions in his daddy's military, not to mention innocent teenage boys with big doe eyes. When things start going not so well for Snowe we see that he's got more mental and emotional hangups than Billy Corgan and Robert Smith put together. Later he wears a dog collar and it's really hot, but he's still a wanker.
Keneth
Nickname(s): | none | |
Star: | Tensyo | |
Age: | 18 | |
First Appearance: | Part 1 |
Keneth's most interesting trait is his terrible, terrible hair. I just can't get over what a dated and awful style that is. But past the hair, he's probably the least annoying of the Hero's friends, simply because he's so boring. Keneth enjoys showing mild concern for the Hero when necessary, expositing, and sturgeon fishing. His turn-offs are people with even worse hair than his and heavy smokers.
Tal
Nickname(s): | Meathead | |
Star: | Tenyu | |
Age: | 21 | |
First Appearance: | Part 1 |
Tal, like Pahn, enjoys eating. Also like Pahn, Tal is the blockhead fighter of his little clique. However, unlike in Pahn's case, I can't choose to get Tal killed. The one thing going in Tal's favor in my book is that he doesn't have one available Rune slot in the game that's taken up by a goddamn Boar Rune. But other than that, game designers, I'd just rather have Pahn.
Jewel
Nickname(s): | none | |
Star: | Tentai | |
Age: | 16 | |
First Appearance: | Part 1 |
I already wasted Tal's entire bio on comparing him to Pahn, so let's just get out of the way that Jewel is like Cleo and move on. Other than subtly trying to horn her way in between the Hero and Snowe--the bitch--Jewel is nice enough and fun in that spunky dog kind of way. She, of all the Hero's friends, seems particularly loyal to him. Unsurprisingly, Snowe doesn't like her.
Paula
Nickname(s): | none | |
Star: | Tenman | |
Age: | 17 | |
First Appearance: | Part 1 |
A female clone of Suikoden's Kirkis so exact that I immediately feared Kirkis was immortal and transgendered. Paula really doesn't have much other personality to speak of, unless you count her taste for mangoes. Like most of the elves, she's soft-spoken and unobtrusive. She also doesn't have Kirkis's annoying habit of stating the insanely obvious, which can only be a good thing.
Troy
Nickname(s): | Joe Bishounen | |
Star: | none | |
Age: | ? | |
First Appearance: | Part 3 |
Well, there goes shaking up the stereotypes. Troy, as the most visible bad guy in the game, is youthful, sexy, angsty--a prototype of every anime-style, dark-haired brooding guy in the history of videogames. We find out almost nothing about him by the end of the game, except that people call him the "Child of the Sea God." And really, that could just be a headline from Tiger Beat.
Lino En Kuldes
Nickname(s): | Lido En Kuldes | |
Star: | Tengou | |
Age: | 44 | |
First Appearance: | Part 4 |
King of Obel and one of two people to blame for Flare's existence. Lino is actually kind of hot in a gruff videogame grandpa sort of way, but he really needs to learn to dress himself. He is kind of a father figure for Marvy, hint hint.
Graham Cray
Nickname(s): | Graham Brains | |
Star: | none | |
Age: | ? | |
First Appearance: | Part 4 |
This frightening undead man is the head of the creatively named Cray Trading Company, based in Kooluk. Dogs know he is evil.
Stars of Destiny
Katarina
Nickname(s): | none | |
Star: | Tenjyu | |
Age: | 30 | |
First Appearance: | Part 1 |
Glen's second-in-command in the Gaien Knights, Katarina seems like a pretty straight-laced, serious woman. Surprisingly...no, wait, she is actually serious and straight-laced. She does creep around after Glen like she's some scorned lover, which is actually pretty disturbing when you find out that he's her father. Yuck, she mixed her incest with her work relationship.
Chiepoo
Nickname(s): | none | |
Star: | Tenfu | |
Age: | 19 | |
First Appearance: | Part 1 |
This marks the first Suikoden game in which there are none of the braindead dog people known as Kobolds. Instead, we get "Nay-Kobolds," slightly less braindead cat people from the island of Nay. I won't insult you by pointing out the pun in the name. Chiepoo does have a squeaky voice and is the irritating comic relief of the early game, but he's also adorable when he rubs his face with his paws and when his little cat-pupils dilate. Awww. And I'm not even a cat person.
Gunter
Nickname(s): | Unkie Gunter | |
Star: | Chisyu | |
Age: | 40 | |
First Appearance: | Part 1 |
Who knows if Gunter is actually a blood relation of our "favorite" purveyor of The Game That Shall Not Be Named? Despite what the nickname suggests, I don't. All I care about is that the simpering mustachioed bastard cost me upwards of 3000 potch within an hour of the game's beginning. If Tai Ho didn't get some of that blood, then I'm a Sora/Riku shipper.
Adrienne
Nickname(s): | none | |
Star: | Chiko | |
Age: | 21 | |
First Appearance: | Part 1 |
When I first played this game I seriously spent about 20 hours thinking Adrienne was a man. It was only the modest cleavage in her full official artwork that clued me in. Plus, she's the series' first female blacksmith, so you can't blame me for jumping to the wrong conclusion. Also, no self-respecting woman should have that ponytail mullet. Not even the Billy Ray Cyrus fans.
Ramada
Nickname(s): | none | |
Star: | Tenritsu | |
Age: | 28 | |
First Appearance: | Part 2 |
Ramada, per his bald head, is a tough egg to crack. He spends basically the entire game trying to figure out whether he's on Marvy's side of the war or not. Or, rather, he spends the game making us struggle to figure out what side he's on. He flip-flops between them something like sixteen times. On a lighter note, he has an extraordinarily gay pet bird.
Akaghi
Nickname(s): | none | |
Star: | Chikou | |
Age: | 22 | |
First Appearance: | Part 2 |
A whiny ninja who looks like a Muppet. At some point I was, for no reason, referring to him as Mr. Snuffleupagus, but that would be a pain to type out all the time as a nickname. Anyway, Akaghi works for Ramada, doing seekrit ninja things. I don't know specifically what these duties entail, other than stabbing people with his pointy hair.
Mizuki
Nickname(s): | none | |
Star: | Chikyou | |
Age: | 19 | |
First Appearance: | Part 2 |
Mizuki, along with Akaghi, works for Ramada as a ninja spy or ninja personal assistant or some damn thing. The most important thing to know about Mizuki is that she does not wear a bra--you'd think she'd need the support when she's jumping around throwing shuriken or whatever, but I guess she likes things free 'n' easy.
Konrad
Nickname(s): | Grizzly McGee | |
Star: | Tenkyu | |
Age: | 56 | |
First Appearance: | Part 2 |
When Marvy first meets Konrad, he's just some random old man hanging out in the Razril inn. Later, it turns out he formerly worked for the Gaien Knights and was Katarina's mentor and teacher. Weirdly, Katarina looks more like Konrad than she resembles her actual father. Maybe her mom got around a lot.
Basil
Nickname(s): | none | |
Star: | Chison | |
Age: | 17 | |
First Appearance: | Part 2 |
Basil is a perky young man in Razril who whiles away his days playing with tops. Well, I'm sure he does something other than that during the day, realistically speaking, but this is an RPG and therefore we have to assume that he is on call to play tops 24/7. It's what he's there for.
Funghi
Nickname(s): | none | |
Star: | Chisyu | |
Age: | 20 | |
First Appearance: | Part 2 |
Okay, how many people resembling mushrooms do we really need in this series? For serious, guys. Other than his Tootie-cut and its correlation to his name, Funghi's just a cute kid who cooks up meals for the Gaien Knights. It's amazing no one's come along and tried to dunk him into his own stewpot yet.
Dario
Nickname(s): | none | |
Star: | Chibi | |
Age: | 35 | |
First Appearance: | Part 2 |
The fat, ugly comic relief pirate, Dario is made a fool of for ninety percent of his screen time in this game. Because he is fat and ugly. Get it?! But unlike his pretty comrades, we know for a fact that Dario has gotten laid at least once in his life, since he has a son daughter.
Nalleo
Nickname(s): | none | |
Star: | Chiken | |
Age: | 14 | |
First Appearance: | Part 2 |
Nalleo is either the girliest boy in the history of this franchise already full of girly boys, or he is, as I suspect, actually female. Fanwank this to your heart's content: maybe she felt so out of place in the game as a girl that she tells everybody she's a boy. But there's a vagina. I'm telling you.
Lilin
Nickname(s): | Tuna!Shion | |
Star: | Chisatsu | |
Age: | 15 | |
First Appearance: | Part 3 |
It's really not Lilin's fault that I hate her--Konami of America's choice of voice actor forced the issue upon her and me. She didn't ask to sound like the pixellated bane of my existence. That said, I'd like to point out that the full version of the character art pictured here shows her shaking her rear end at us, feeling up her backside with her hand and everything. Some similarities are too big to ignore.
Desmond
Nickname(s): | none | |
Star: | Chisu | |
Age: | 30 | |
First Appearance: | Part 4 |
The Freed Y of the Kingdom of Obel. He is Princess Flare's manservant, and even in that context he is depressingly meek and polite. He embodies mousiness.
Flare En Kuldes
Nickname(s): | Flarey Sue | |
Star: | Tenkou | |
Age: | 20 | |
First Appearance: | Part 4 |
Flare is the Princess of the Kingdom of Obel, which makes her second in line to rule, like, a dozen people. So she's obviously super important. Everything about Flare is Mary Sue-ish, from her name to her good looks to her "wild" independent streak. Marvy is terrified of her.
Yu
Nickname(s): | Dr. Yueh | |
Star: | Chirei | |
Age: | 38 | |
First Appearance: | Part 4 |
This game's doctor is not cut from the same cloth as the kind Dr. Huan or Tuta. Yu is more interested in robbing the poor citizens of the Island Nations blind so he can pay off his med school student loans.
Nabokov
Nickname(s): | none | |
Star: | Chisei | |
Age: | 34 | |
First Appearance: | Part 4 |
Nabokov is our resident appraiser, which means he gets to stare down his giant nose at Marvy every time he brings in a Failure Urn. Fascinating.
Ornan
Nickname(s): | none | |
Star: | Chihi | |
Age: | 42 | |
First Appearance: | Part 4 |
A handsome cowboy who I totally did not realize was 42 years old until I looked it up for this bio. Dang, he looks great. Marvy hopes his skin is that radiant when he's geriatric.
Setsu
Nickname(s): | Molesley | |
Star: | Chizen | |
Age: | 50 | |
First Appearance: | Part 4 |
Where Desmond is Flare's servant, Setsu serves her father, the King of Obel. This increased rank means he is super uppity and thinks his job is more crucial than it is. He's not even the servant to an important king.
Louise
Nickname(s): | none | |
Star: | Chiin | |
Age: | ? | |
First Appearance: | Part 4 |
Louise tends bar at Marvy's headquarters. She is kind of rude, which I suppose I would be too if I had such a terrible haircut.
Tov
Nickname(s): | none | |
Star: | Chiman | |
Age: | 27 | |
First Appearance: | Part 4 |
Tov was the architect for the building Marvy lives in which is totally not a ship. Marvy has no idea why he is here.
Chadli
Nickname(s): | none | |
Star: | Chikou | |
Age: | 21 | |
First Appearance: | Part 4 |
The armorer. He has a penis nose guard, which is all you really need to know about him.
Ema
Nickname(s): | none | |
Star: | Chiei | |
Age: | 44 | |
First Appearance: | Part 4 |
Ema is a kind, rotund little lady traveling the world with her beanpole husband. Marvy has no idea what function she actually brings to his entourage, but she's nice and doesn't hit on him, so she can stay.
Gary
Nickname(s): | Waluigi | |
Star: | Chii | |
Age: | 47 | |
First Appearance: | Part 4 |
The ancestor of Maximillian, Gary loves adventure and traveling. His mustache looks like someone used it as a dynamite fuse.
Noah
Nickname(s): | none | |
Star: | Chiku | |
Age: | 12 | |
First Appearance: | Part 4 |
Noah is a creepy furry girl who plays cards in her spare time, which is all of the time. She and Rita are friends, so Marvy tolerates her presence.
Perrault
Nickname(s): | none | |
Star: | Chiyou | |
Age: | 23 | |
First Appearance: | Part 4 |
An aspiring journalist and potential erotic period fiction writer. His dreams are sad because newspapers are dying.
Bang
Nickname(s): | none | |
Star: | Chikai | |
Age: | 63 | |
First Appearance: | Part 4 |
The absolutely not bangable proprietor of the lottery booth on Nay Island. He gives Marvy blue balls--NOT LIKE THAT.
Bartholomew
Nickname(s): | none | |
Star: | Chikyou | |
Age: | 32 | |
First Appearance: | Part 4 |
A gruff, older-looking gentleman who moans about his bad luck. Wait, he's 32 and Ornan is 42? What the hell is going on here?
Rita
Nickname(s): | none | |
Star: | Chikei | |
Age: | 13 | |
First Appearance: | Part 4 |
Presumably Meg's great-great-grandma or something. She ripped off mahjong and named "her" version Ritapon, because she has a giant swelled head, apparently. But I forgive her because it's amazing. The fact that Ritapon existed in this universe for 150 years just makes it even more appalling that The Game That Shall Not Be Named is the game that stood the test of time.
Reinhold
Nickname(s): | none | |
Star: | Chibaku | |
Age: | 37 | |
First Appearance: | Part 4 |
A hairless man who runs grifts with Mitsuba. Unlike Judge Reinhold, he is not handsome.
Mitsuba
Nickname(s): | none | |
Star: | Chiin | |
Age: | 15 | |
First Appearance: | Part 4 |
Mitsuba is an amazon with a giant sword who beats up scrawny, gullible boys and takes their money. It's kind of a miracle she isn't this game's villain.
Selma
Nickname(s): | none | |
Star: | Teni | |
Age: | 31 | |
First Appearance: | Part 4 |
She's an elf. Man, I am sick of writing these bios.
Rakgi
Nickname(s): | Rat Boy | |
Star: | Tenrou | |
Age: | 9 | |
First Appearance: | Part 4 |
Rakgi's dad was one of the previous bearers of the Rune of Punishment. He bailed on Rakgi and his mom to go on a sex walkabout across the Island Nations...I mean, to keep them safe from the Rune.
Rikie
Nickname(s): | none | |
Star: | Tensui | |
Age: | 28 | |
First Appearance: | Part 4 |
Rakgi's mom. Her profile picture makes her look like she's blind, which always confuses me. She is otherwise insanely boring.
Manu
Nickname(s): | none | |
Star: | Chisou | |
Age: | 38 | |
First Appearance: | Part 4 |
The elevator guy. So is this the one who really did invent the elevator for the first time? Did they not have patent attorneys in the Island Nations?
Other characters
Glen
Nickname(s): | Scruffy McGee | |
Star: | none | |
Age: | ? | |
First Appearance: | Part 1 |
Poor Glen. All he's ever done for people is be a kind, supportive father figure. Well, except for Snowe, whom he seems to enjoy smacking around like a bitch. (Who doesn't?) And what does he get for his kindness and mentoring of others? The goddamn Rune of Punishment. And a load of underlings so incompetent that his whole Knighthood completely collapses after he's gone. God. Ungrateful kids.
Lord Vingerhut
Nickname(s): | Lord Fingerbang | |
Star: | none | |
Age: | ? | |
First Appearance: | Part 1 |
Just how freaking rich is this guy? He's so rich, he owns the damn military. The Gaien Knights are his own fucking personal army of people in ugly clothing. Also, he's rich enough to pay everyone in Razril to like Snowe. I mean, that has to be the explanation. 'Cause Snowe's a dick.
Brandeau
Nickname(s): | none | |
Star: | none | |
Age: | ? | |
First Appearance: | Part 2 |
Brandeau is the first of many bearers of the Rune of Punishment we will meet in the game, and he's probably the coolest. He's a bad-ass pirate (or a bad ass-pirate, if you like) with a sexy six-pack and a voice that indicates he's been hitting the liquor pretty hard for about five decades. He dies before we really get to know him better, but we can at least remember him for famously causing pain to Snowe's arm. Good times.
Assassin
Nickname(s): | Mushassin | |
Star: | none | |
Age: | ? | |
First Appearance: | Part 2 |
Because this guy has a character portrait, he gets to be included here. That said, I have no earthly idea why he has a character portrait--he dies after one battle and cut-scene and is never seen or heard from again. But he does look like an undead mushroom, and that's pretty cool.
Colton
Nickname(s): | Old Man River | |
Star: | none | |
Age: | ? | |
First Appearance: | Part 3 |
Colton plays the role of the elder statesman on the side of villainy: a weathered old salt who is there to guide the young, hot bad guy in the ways of antagonism. He plays another role, that of the parent of another character. This seems like a double guarantee that he will die before the end of the game, but he doesn't. That Suikoden IV, shaking up the stereotypes!
Leknaat
Nickname(s): | none | |
Star: | none | |
Age: | ? | |
First Appearance: | Part 4 |
You know who Leknaat is. I'm not writing this again.