The Mask continues, “The Southern Regional Army of the Holy Kingdom of Harmonia has already crossed into Grassland.” Harmonians love their long names for things, don’t they? I feel like I’m padding my word count, here. “You’ll go assist them in their search for the notorious Fire Bringer.” Yeah, they’re so “notorious” 90 percent of the characters in the game have needed a Sunday school lesson on who the fuck they are. In this search, the Mask goes on that, as we already know, they are to begin with the Safir Clan, which prompts one of the Bug Brigadiers to ask, “We’re going to be fighting the Safir Clan? One of the six Grassland clans?” The Mask is like, “No, I meant the other Safir Clan.” But now the Bug Brigadiers are all conflicted because, in one’s words, “B-But… We’re originally Grasslanders, so to fight against them is to…” This is stupid–they ostensibly already knew they’d be warring with Grassland, and that the Fire Bringer was comprised of Grasslanders. I’d say again this is for my benefit, but as we’ll see in a minute, it’s mostly for Aila’s. The Mask tells them to get their ethical ducks in a row before they depart, once some “emissary from Caleria” arrives, and walks off with Sarah while Franz and his comrades shuffle their feet and look sad.

After the locals have cleared out, Aila, who didn’t run off after Sarah again for some reason, immediately wants to know, “Hey, what’s going on? They don’t seem too enthusiastic about those orders.” Ace hems and haws for a moment before dropping the incredibly patronizing statement, “Well, I think it would be too difficult for you to understand.” I’m not saying he has no factual basis for this, but don’t be such a condescending dick, man. Aila calls him on this borderline misogynist bullshit, but instead Joker steps in to give her the background. “This village used to be a Grasslander village,” he tells her. “You heard it before, right? That this is a village that was ‘allowed to live’?” Aila, bless her somehow naïve little heart, still doesn’t understand what that means. “They were granted permission to exist as long as they were of service to Harmonia,” Joker answers. “Now they’re being asked to fight against their own kind. They have a hard choice to make.” Would it help them in their choice if they knew other Grasslanders–like Aila–don’t even know they exist, let alone that they were once compatriots? It doesn’t seem like anyone in this village is even old enough to remember being part of Grassland, anyway. If anything, what should make their choice difficult is the knowledge that they and their civilian families are on the receiving end of apartheid, and that moving into the ranks of the slightly less oppressed was an option only extended to them personally, not their loved ones. But being a self-absorbed bushwood seems to be a requirement for enlisting with the Bug Brigadiers.

Speaking of bushwoods, now it’s time to go back to Franz and Iku dumping their feelings on each other. He’s in the middle of mansplaining to her that they’re going to be second-class citizens–like there’s any actual guarantee of this–and that everybody else in town, her included, can stop chugging haterade and treating him like the prick he is. Iku asks him what’s so great about second-class citizenship, and he replies in total earnest, “Don’t you understand? If we become second-class citizens, we won’t be taxed as heavily. We’ll be able to travel freely, and we’ll have permission to trade! Finally, we can be treated like real human beings.” Wow. That is the saddest thing. Iku frowns at him and asks the world’s best question, “So you think we have to be second-class to be considered worthy of humane treatment now?” Ouch.

Right when it seems like he’s about to storm off again, Franz says, with his back to her, “Iku… I was forced to work at Crystal Valley like a slave, and I dreamt about returning here. When I finally got back, I realized nothing had changed. We’re still slaves. We have no real choices, and the only reason we’re allowed to live is because of our power to train Mantor.” Well, everything about this is terrible. Iku asks, “If you’ve been so unhappy working for Harmonia, why do them any more favors?” But he points out to her that they haven’t been Grasslanders for 50 years, that no one from Grassland bothered helping them when they were conquered in the first place, and they’re certainly not going to just become Grasslanders again tomorrow if they tell Harmonia to fuck off. Cue Aila the Grasslander walking over at this intense moment to ask, “What’s a slave, anyway?” No, really.

I think Iku’s face sums it up.

Ace is like, “Oh my God, seriously?” but it’s too late, and Franz and Iku are now staring at the whole eavesdropping 12th Unit with mortified expressions. Franz goes, “Oh, it’s you dicks again,” and Ace attempts to act like they weren’t listening in on purpose, but just dropped their keys next to Iku’s feet or something. Of course, this would work better if he didn’t immediately add, “Are you having a lover’s quarrel?” That is somehow even worse than what Aila asked.

Naturally, Franz gets riled up at the word “lovers” being applied to him and another woman, and not the general insensitivity of them eavesdropping and then butting in. Ace asks if there is “more to this story,” like the shit sandwich the people of Le Buque have been served isn’t bad enough with the information we have. Franz frowns angrily at Ace, and then turns back to Iku like they’re not standing there. “Iku,” he tells her, “I’m staking my life on this mission. Regardless of what you may think or what the other villagers may think, I’m not going to change the way I’ve decided to live.” And with the excuse that he needs to get ready to ride off into the sunset with his Bug Brigadier Boyfriends, he–of course–stalks off in a huff. But on the way, he pauses to ask Geddy, “Do Harmonian mercenaries also spy on third-class citizens?” I so want Geddy to answer, “Yes–that’s your Harmonian tax dollars at work.”

Aila pulls out of her cultural stupor long enough to apologize to Iku for how mind-blowingly callous that entire scene was. Iku wants to go cry alone in her room for a while, but Aila has a question first. “Umm, could you tell me about something? What’s this all about?” she asks. “I came from the Karaya Clan, and I really don’t know anything.” Oh. Oh honey, no. Ace thankfully keeps his mouth shut for once. Iku mulls this over, and then a black screen brings them to her home, since she’d rather sit in a chair if she’s going to spend hours explaining everything to Aila, from the history of their clans to the birds and the bees. Ace, meanwhile, senses that this exposition session is going to take forever and pleads with Geddy to go check on “that Bishop” while the ladies chat, since he and Joker recognized Sarah from the Karaya Village incident. Since Queen decides to stay with Aila and Iku, this means the boys will get some much-needed alone time. To, like, go fishing, and whittle wooden furniture, and certainly not jam their tongues down each other’s throats. Dude stuff.

Before they can go check on the Mask and Sarah, though, there is one recruit to be found in Le Buque, as of right now. He’s hanging out on the western edge of town, next to the education center and rune shop. Okay, I know I always incorporate fashion into these character descriptions, and that I have called many, many recruits fashion disasters in my time, but holy jumping Jesus, you guys. This is something.

Wow.

The only nice thing I can say here is that his wardrobe’s color palette is not entirely out of control–he’s not wearing virtually every color in existence like Scott the trader or fucking Sudit. But still. A zebra-print turtleneck? I figured you’d need access to a time machine to buy one of those. And that mustard-yellow coat! With armbands over the coat! And my God, he’s wearing matching board shorts! Board shorts with a turtleneck! And fingerless gloves! WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE.

Okay. I guess the more interesting thing about this young man, named Edge, is that he is in possession of our old friend the Star Dragon Sword, which is stuck in the dirt at his feet. Or, as he tells Geddy, he’s selling it. The Star Dragon Sword itself quips from the ground that it is absolutely not for sale, since that would be demeaning to its grandiosity. But it’s attracting attention anyway, since as SDS puts it, “I’ve always been very flamboyant…” Uh huh.

Geddy’s somewhat muted response to all this is, “Interesting. A talking sword! Why do you have it?” Clearly someone dressed as Edge is should not be trusted with sharp objects, and certainly not sentient sharp objects. Edge replies, “Here’s the deal… For 1000 potch, you get to duel me. If you win, this sword is yours.” Geddy first makes sure to ask if Edge is the legitimate owner of the SDS, at which the sword snits that Edge is more like its “servant,” adding, “Just my luck, too. First, it was that man who had more hair than a sloth, and now this guy…” As far as I know, this half-assed name-drop is the only real mention of Bear in this game, and while there are other sources that indicate how Edge came to possess the sword, I think it’s way more fun to use our imaginations.

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Edge and the Star Dragon Sword bicker like an old married couple for a few more minutes, before Edge asks if he’s going to get a duel or what. Clearly, Geddy is interested, mostly because he wants to use the flat of the sword to smack Ace around when he’s being stupid AND have the sword insult Ace at the same time. So the duel commences. Edge is pretty easy to read as far as these things go–most of what he says is low-grade innuendo like “Don’t get cocky” and “Show me what you’ve got,” the kind of stuff Geddy hears coming out of Ace and Joker’s room on a nightly basis. And with that kind of practice, it’s no surprise that he defeats Edge without taking a single strike himself.

What also doesn’t come as a surprise is that Edge was not expecting to lose and have to give up the sword. In an absolute bitch move, he puts on his Sincere Sad Boy Face and tells Geddy, “I’m sorry… I know what I promised, but this sword was entrusted to me by someone very important. There’s no way I can hand it over.” Well, he should hand it over, because he’s terrible at using it. But he stops short of rescinding his word completely. “I can’t give you the sword, but I will share the sword’s powers with you,” he says. “You can use me, as the bearer of the sword, for as long as you deem necessary.” Yowza. The first thing Geddy will have Edge do is use the sword to slice all those horrible clothes off himself.

The Star Dragon Sword complains, like the dirt it’d be stuck in at Buttfuck Castle is any worse than the dirt in Le Buque, but Edge is recruited whether the sword likes it or not. Of course, it’s a little strange, and frustrating, that Edge is really only recruitable by Geddy, who has a full party and is therefore unable to take advantage of “the bearer of the sword.” Hugo could use someone who’s not a total waste of space, but nooooooo.

Geddy manages to explore the rest of the village without stumbling ass-over-teakettle into another cutscene, but mostly because the next one is difficult to run into accidentally. At the very eastern edge of the catwalks, near a ladder, he spots Sarah and the Mask, who are on the platform above awaiting the arrival of a Bug Brigadier. He takes about an hour to hover to a stop, dismount his mantor, and waddle over to them. “I have just returned!” he announces. “No shit,” the Mask does not reply. Instead, he tells the Brigadier, “I want everyone readied for deployment, except those I’ve specified.” I so hope Franz is one of the ones he’s making stay home, where he’ll have to deal with the derision of the villagers without his boyfriends to defend him.