Happy holidays, friends and patrons of Buttfuck Castle! It’s time to check back in with the slow, shuffling goings-on of Suikoden III. This is somehow eight hours of footage, possibly because I enter regular fugue states while playing this game.
Hey, are you an attractive anime teen who loves ’90s culture? Of course you are. That’s why I’ve brought you, at great emotional cost to my weepy self, the final, uh, way-too-long installment of the Lunar: Silver Star Story recap! Wait till you guys find out what Squeak’s deal is. Fucking mind-blowing.
“Happy” Mueller Report Day, everyone! Literally nobody should read that, it’ll just piss you off, so instead, read my latest Suikoden IV recap! It also has a stupid world leader who dresses badly and makes me angry!
We’re one year away from the site being able to vote and buy cigarettes! Very exciting!
Thanks for sticking around and reading for another year, gang! Today we’ve got a new installment of Kingdom Hearts II. Did you all want to discuss Kingdom Hearts III? Do you also think Flynn Rider is a dirtbag? Do you have strong feelings about which Attraction is the best? (It’s the Mad Tea Cups.) Have you been moved by interminable cutscenes of Org XIII losers talking to each other on top of phallic rock pillars? Well too bad, we’re stuck with THIS game for now. (Feel free to chat KH3 in the comments, but try to keep it spoiler-light if so!)
Happy New Year, everyone! Since we are all charter members of the Shion Uzuki fan club, have I got a treat for you: it’s the latest installment of Xenosaga II, in which we get a five-course prix fixe of the smartest lady in 60xx! I hope you hate everything about her and it as much as I did writing about it!