After a while, Hugo, Duckman, and Lulu reach a door which they hope will open up to their side of Brass Castle. I hope so, too, because I can’t even express how pissed off I would be if they came out where they started and I had to go through this bullshit all over again. Outside they meet up with Fubie, meaning, to them, that they’re on the right side. Not necessarily–what if Fubie just flew around waiting for them to show their faces? He didn’t, though, because on the world map Hugo jogs his spritely little ass once more to the Plain Amur.
Once on the plain, we can see that dusk has fallen on Grassland. There’s some sad, slightly foreboding music playing–that is, when it’s not the cheery, hi-ho-Silver random battle music. The party is nearly at the end of the plain, near the Journeyman Crystal, when Lulu spots smoke on the horizon. “What’s happened?” I would say, except I’ve played other Suikoden games and I already know. Duckman warns his charges to “stay on guard” from here on, as things could get dangerous. As opposed to all the perfectly relaxing running from Zexen Knights they’ve been doing thus far.
Back on the world map, Sprite Hugo automatically goes to Karaya Village, as some serious shit is about to go down. I would be pissed that I can’t take a quick detour to Duck Village to sell my crystal balls, but that’s Hugo’s next destination after this, so it’s no big deal. And it’s not like I want to put off the next scene any further, as knowing it was coming has been the only thing sustaining me through this recap.
Sure enough, as the gang runs down the road, the “Death Carnage Burn Maim Kill Die” music is playing and smoke is billowing from the village. Hugo says, “I know that color of smoke,” and determines its source is their burning homes. Wouldn’t it be funny if they got up there and Lucia, Luce, and Jimba were just having a good old-fashioned wiener marshmallow roast? But no, it’s the village. “Disaster has struck!” Duckman exclaims, turning away. NO SHIT, SHERLOCK. Lulu’s avatar, for the first time in the game, doesn’t sport the grin of a braindead stoner; he’s got his game face on now. Before Hugo or Sarge can stop him (and thank God they don’t) he runs ahead into the village proper. Duckman chases after him, but Hugo stands rooted to the spot, all “Zexens! What about my message?!” We’ll see later why this is so funny. Finally, he runs after Lulu, too.
Nice ears, Dumbo.
Further up the road, Hugo and Duckman find a dead or dying Karayan, possibly the guy who ribbed Hugo for bothering those damn earth spirits in part 1. When I first played this game I thought it was Jimba, so you can imagine my surprise when he turned up later, sans sucking chest wound. They move on.
The first ironhead Hugo sees when he enters the village is none other than Lady Chris herself, perched on her white horse. She says, “This village…We’ll be better off with it gone.” Yeah, I bet that isn’t out of context at all. But bless her, even in the midst of all this fire, she still manages to look icy. Atta girl. As she’s turned away, Lulu stalks up to her, rage in his giant dopey eyes. “You! It had to be you!” he shouts, and while it didn’t really have to be her, I can see where Lulu’s coming from, as she’s the only one in sight. Yes, I’ll give the kid one point, given what’s about to happen. Lulu lunges, Chris turns, and instinctively she draws her sword and strikes his wanker ass DOWN! WHOOOOOOO!!!
Hugo, Duckman, and Fubie stand transfixed as Lulu, in glorious sloooooow moooootion, falls to the ground, DEAD DEAD DEAD DEAD DEAD. Rewind. Play. Pause. Frame-by-frame. Hee!
My prayers have been answered!
Hugo chokes out “Lu–!” and runs to his friend. Chris the Ice Queen just sits there, staring, not looking all that remorseful. I go to Godiva’s website and order her the most expensive box of chocolates I can find. Hugo stammers about his message to the Council, and asks why this happened. Chris doesn’t respond in any satisfactory way, as we’re supposed to find out her reasoning in her chapter, thank you. Hugo continues to demand answers, and she finally says that she didn’t know it was a child who was attacking her. Well, the important thing is it was a giant wanker, and I never have to deal with him again, so hooray for Chris! She vehemently denies that the attack was planned or that the truce was a false one, and it’s best to just not worry about the details in this conversation, as we’ll see them for ourselves soon enough. But I’m still high and carefree on my happy Lulu-is-dead cloud, so pay me no mind.
Hugo is about to attack Lulu’s killer (and the savior of my sanity), but Sarge holds him back, as she is no longer alone. Tootie, Roland the Lavender Elf Queen, and some random knights ride up and, as if there’s no confrontation going on at all, and Chris is just standing by herself, Tootie tells her it’s time to leave. With one last look at Hugo, Chris murmurs, “I am sorry……child.” Damn, here we go with that “child” stuff again. The knights exit. Duckman apologizes to Hugo for holding him back, but wisely notes that they had a snowball’s chance in hell of surviving against all those knights. “For now, think only of Lulu,” he adds. Just a hunch, Sarge, but I think that thinking of Lulu is what made Hugo want to attack in the first place. Fade to black.
Fade back in at dawn, over the charred remains of Karaya Village. Duckman rises from the ground, wiping dirt from his wings. Apparently he and Hugo have just buried Lulu, with Fubie watching silently. “For this…” he says, “the proper rites should be read. The spirits will have to forgive us for now.” I’m guessing they didn’t give Lulu the most ostentatious warrior burial. And I thought Sarge didn’t believe in that spirit stuff, either. Whatever. Meanwhile, Hugo is still beating himself up over the whole thing. “I didn’t protect him,” he mopes, and thinks of what he’ll have to tell Luce and Lucia. As much as I’m happy to be rid of Lulu (extremely happy, in case you hadn’t noticed), I can’t help feeling sad at this point, because I really like Hugo and I don’t like seeing him all sorrowful. I say something to the effect of cuddling poor Hugo until he feels better, to which Josh replies, “Another little boy for you, huh?” Har har.
This probably led to a lot of Hugo x Lulu slash, and that makes baby Jesus cry.
Duckman doesn’t subscribe to that touchy-feely stuff, though (and I’m glad for that, I have to say): instead he goes all tough-love on Hugo and tells him he’s too much of a rank amateur to have protected Lulu, anyway. Further, he says Lulu knew what he was doing and was aware of the risk. Except he takes about five times longer to say it because of a bunch of repetitive rhetoric about The Cold Truth of War™. “Thanks for the sympathy, asshole,” Hugo would say if he were me. Instead he mopes some more, because he wants to be strong enough to protect his friends and loved ones. Wanting to just get the hell out of there, already, Sarge tells him to buck up and says they should escape the area and head for Duck Village for now. More sad music, as Hugo continues to stare at Lulu’s grave, and we finally, finally reach the end of Hugo’s chapter 1. I made it! I survived!
*throws confetti*
So next time we’ll saddle up with Chris the Ice Queen and her bitc–fellow Zexen Knights, to find out why all the stuff that just happened, er, happened. It’ll be an adventure full of intrigue, politics, and everyone and their mother wanting to get into Chris’s pants. Until part four, when Lulu will still be DEAD! Yay!