A random guy near the gate apologizes for the inconvenience and offers to tell them of the operation. Hell yes. Apparently, the Crusaders will lure Sin using its spawn, and the Al Bhed will kill Sin with machina. Somehow I get the feeling that if it were that simple, summoners wouldn’t have to do the whole pilgrimage thing, but whatever. We need subplots.
Captain of the obvious, part 2.
As Tightass and the others turn back, they see Seymour and his entourage of children approaching. Scratch that, I guess the others are adults. I mean, I just assumed that because it was Seymour…well, never mind. The music turns all creepy (imagine that) as the camera focuses on Seymour’s chest. Tightass takes a closer look. Yuna bows, but the others just stand there, even Wakka, who you’d think would be bowing and scraping like an asskissing dog. I guess the game designers were lazy once again.
“So we meet again, Lady Yuna,” says Seymour in his Winnie-the-Pedophile voice. He notices that she looks “troubled”. Now why would that be? He asks if he can help, and Yuna kind of passively looks toward the gate. It’s time for her big strong pedophiliac man to go save the day. He asks the gate guard to let Yuna and her guardians into the command center. “I will take full responsibility,” Seymour finishes. Yuna thanks him and bends over. Finally, Lulu interrupts her to say that it’s time to go. “Oh…right,” Yuna says, startled. I don’t even want to know what she was expecting.
Meanwhile, as the others go on ahead, Tightass bitches to Wakka. “Who does he think he is?” Tightass whines. “He’s a maester. Better get used to it, ya?” Wakka replies. Better get used to what?
Seymour approaches the gathered Crusaders and starts giving a speech. He morphs into his “not a pedophile” voice that he uses when addressing a crowd or when trying to sound “cool”. “Brave Crusaders of Spira, protectors of all Spira. Believe in the path you have chosen, let faith be your strength! I, Seymour Guado, maester of Yevon, will bear witness to your deeds today.” So — gasp! — Seymour knows about and condones this evil sacrilegious operation! Blasphemer!
Wakka is, of course, pissed off and confused. He wants to know why Seymour is consorting with these heathens. “Even going against the teachings they’re willing to risk it for the greater good,” Yuna comments. “Wakka, I think Maester Seymour sees that, too.” Or maybe there are just some young kids in the Crusaders. Hey, he’s probably been checking that Gatta out. “Ask him yourself,” Auron says to Wakka, indicating that Seymour is approaching.
Seymour makes a beeline for Yuna, a fact that we see in a disturbing POV shot. But first, he spots Auron. “Ah, Sir Auron. It is an honor. I would be most interested in hearing what you’ve been doing these past ten years,” Seymour creeps. Luckily, Auron is way too old for him, no matter what certain disturbing fanfictions have to say. “I’ve been watching over a wanker because I made a promise to his dad,” Auron replies except that he really says, “I’ve got nothing to say about it.” Hey, we all know what he really meant. Then Auron walks off. Seymour turns to Yuna and says, “Sir Auron must be a great asset as a guardian. Much more so than that stupid blond wanker with the cut-off pant leg. Although that kid is about the right age for…” “Your Grace!” Yuna exclaims. Seymour tells her that she doesn’t need to be formal with him. Yeah, he’s trying to get in her pants.
Wakka takes this opportunity to ask his question, albeit very awkwardly. “Why is your Lordship…presently…present here…sir?” He wonders why Seymour won’t stop the operation. “It’s true…I should,” Seymour concedes. Wakka makes a disturbing sound like “Mm-MM”. Yuck. “However, both the Crusaders and the Al Bhed truly wish peace for Spira,” Seymour continues. “This Operation Mi’ihen was born from that wish they share. Although it may be sacrilege to Yevon, their intentions are pure. And I, Seymour Guado — the person, not the maester of Yevon…As a denizen of Spira, I wish them well in their endeavor.” Man, he’s long-winded. Wakka still isn’t appeased. “But, using machina…That’s bad, isn’t it?” he whines. “Pretend you didn’t see them,” Seymour replies. Everyone gasps in surprise and possibly terror. “Beg your pardon, but that’s not something a maester should say,” Wakka tells him. “Then, pretend I didn’t say it,” Seymour replies, even more creepily. Wakka is taken aback, but Seymour just walks away. I’m torn because I don’t know who bugs me more in this scene. Wakka is annoying, but Seymour is a creepy pedophile. I know — Tightass bugs me the most. Because he breaks out with the damn Wankese. “From the first time I laid eyes on him, I never did like Seymour…But you know, some of the things he said that day…They made a lot of sense to me. And that, like, hardly ever happens.”
Suddenly the little map appears and a dotted line runs from Mushroom Rock Road (our current location, I guess) and Temple of Yevon-Djose. I suppose that’s where our destination is. Not that it matters right now, and not that we’ll get there for at least another hour. But it’s the thought that counts or something.
Further down the road, Clasko runs up to Yuna. “The command center…Maester Seymour requests your presence there, ma’am,” he tells her. He gives directions, and what do you know, it’s the only way they can go right now anyway. O’aka is there with his overpriced goods. And there are even some random battles. It warms the heart. Except for the part where Wakka shrieks, “You want some o’ this?” at the monsters. That just makes me nauseated. At least Auron finishes the battle with one of his cool phrases.
And with that, it’s time to end this short installment. Blame Square for filling the hour with random battles. Oh wait, that was my fault for not using the chocobo and having to fight thirty minutes of random battles. Damn it.