After this very difficult wave with this monster none of them have faced the likes of before, the team is pretty gassed, and Ace (of course) suggests getting the fuck out. Aila jumps to the conclusion that this means leaving the Le Buquenos to “fend for themselves,” as if a group of eight people could easily get past these monsters but there’s no way they could also get another group of ten or so out. This is a binary, obviously. Franz, duh, refuses, but Ace tries to mansplain, “Think of it this way–if we stay here and die, there’s no way that they’ll survive either, Aila.” Is Ace secretly a Silverberg? They’d adopt him for sure after hearing this.

If one of you doesn’t turn around the other way, I’m going to open Photoshop and take matters into my own hands.

Queen agrees with Ace’s assessment, Aila and Franz do not, Jacques says nothing, and I can feel Joker’s pining to back up his man from here, but he represses the desire in order to keep up the foeyay kayfabe. But it is ultimately up to Geddy, and Geddy isn’t about to admit he went through losing his True Rune for literally nothing, and the lives of these sad bug people are the only victory he has to seize now. Not his best day. “We can’t just run away,” he says. Ace reluctantly agrees: “Yeah, a Fire Bringer can’t abandon the townspeople, I guess. I’d lose face fast.” The unifying ethos of the Fire Bringer is absolutely, “Do nothing which would tarnish our collective fuckability.” (This is not THE reason Guillaume is a problem, but it’s one of many.)

Geddy has to insist on them not cutting and running twice more, with the party increasingly in favor of doing exactly that. Finally, an already prone Aila is about to get her forehead caved in with a battleaxe when the Ghost Armor stops in its tracks, and realizes it has a halberd stuck in its magical pulsing red orb of an abdomen. Ace wonders who did this, because he’s so tired he cannot summon the strength to lift his chin up a little bit, and in fairness to him, like 20 people in this game could have thrown that particular weapon. As it happens, the one that actually did was Gau, and if these ungrateful babies could rouse themselves to look, they’d see the kobold striking a pretty badass pose on the bridge, still post-throw form. Badass enough that if not for the significant counterweight of having met every single other kobold in this series, I’d think, “Kobolds are pretty cool.” Behind him are Duke and Gazongas, posing back to back like mismatched roommates in a sitcom, and Nicolas, holding his poleaxe at the ready but mostly obscured by the camera focusing on the other two. Poor Nicolas. Dude matters so little I don’t even think I’ve shipped him with anybody.

“Long time no see, Geddoe,” Duke says to his unrequited boyfrenemy. “You shouldn’t keep all the fun for yourselves, you know.” Ace butts in, all, “Duke!!!” like Duke has the time of day for any of the other 12th Unit members. Gazongas explains that they were actually here “to arrest a priest for treason,” probably per the orders of now-runeless Sasarai. “Looks like we missed him. Just seeing you falter was reward enough.” Gazongas alone is bringing enough petty for all four of them, but Duke piles on, “Geddoe, you seem to be in trouble. We can lend you a hand–if you beg us to.” He’s wearing way too many layers of clothing for us to tell, but he must have an erection at the mere idea of this. Geddy, given the option, chooses not to give Duke the satisfaction and replies with some surly ellipses. Duke somehow takes this pretty well. “Ha ha ha ha! That’d be too humiliating for you, wouldn’t it?” He could cut diamonds right now, for sure. “Fine. I can’t have a wimp for a rival–and we still have a score to settle. I’ll lend you a hand.” He has something else to lend him, and no doubt some evil censors made sure I wouldn’t get to see him say so. Geddy at least admits he’s grateful for the help, and the 14th Unit charges into battle. Except for Duke, who stands on the bridge for five more seconds, tapping his sword on his shoulder until his orgasm has receded, and then he too runs into the fray.

Geddy says they can now “go free the townspeople” while the 14th Unit handles the waves of summoned monsters. The 12th Unit runs off, possibly taking the power of their rival mercenaries for granted. In fact, Duke is in the middle of saying that these demonic knights and dragon-type Pokémon might be more than he bargained for. Nonetheless, a pop-up informs me that each of them has joined the 108 Stars of Destiny, removing any remaining suspense, which was admittedly fairly little, given the triumphant music that’s been tootling at top volume since Gau shanked that Ghost Armor.

That’s nice. Maybe for next time, you could try thinking on your lines before you say them, huh?

A black screen takes us from the definitely-not-dying-heroically 14th Unit to the 12th, along with Franz and Iku, near the cave’s entrance. Well, actually, to Geddy, Queen, Jacques, Franz, and Iku walking up to Ace and Joker, the former of whom tells his boss that the villagers have gone ahead, and does not bother narrating what he and Joker have been doing in the meantime, as everyone present knows. Queen seems eager to go back and help with the monsters, and Iku sees that as her moment to take her leave. Turning not just to Geddy but entirely away from Franz, she bows formally. “Well, thank you very much,” she says. “I never dreamt that anyone would come to rescue us.” Man. Franz is a real prick, don’t get me wrong, but man. Franz goes, “………….” to this, and I get it. What can he even say at this point? The two Le Buquenos take their leave, followed by most of the rest of the group. Queen pauses at Geddy’s side. “When you return, Geddoe, they’ll treat you like a hero,” she says, and then keeps walking, like she’s just delivered a grave threat. He’s going to hate that shit, and she knows it! But Geddy, to himself, mutters, “A hero, huh? Hmmm…” Well, he’s no longer in possession of godlike lightning powers, and he’s going to die soon, but some backwater beetlefuckers might give him a discount at their inn! WORTH IT.

This is not actually an outcome I care about or need to see, but I am still in control of Geddy and still have to return to Le Buque so he can get his hero’s welcome. When he enters the town proper, he and his companions are surrounded by Le Buqueclones and their odd pants with outlines drawn around their crotches. Franz, though, is standing off to the side by himself, no doubt smarting that Iku still won’t pull him out of the not-even-a-friendzone. Geddy notices this, but has to pretend to pay attention to some clones telling him how grateful they are for his aid and how they’ve always wanted to be a part of the Grasslands again. Is that…what was accomplished here? I don’t think this is true at all. One of them says to his twin, “We won’t be bullied by that Harmonian brat anymore.” The other twin agrees: “If he likes Harmonia so much, he shouldn’t stay in Le Buque.” I cannot imagine living in this place unless you really did like it, so this is stupid, and also, “If he likes Harmonia so much, he should marry it” was RIGHT THERE.

Franz is of course listening to all of this, and demands they come two feet closer and say this to his face. He charges in with a fist raised, only to be absolutely cold-cocked by Le Buqueclone #2 and thrown back five feet and land flat on his back. This game is resolute that I should not be rooting for anybody in this fucking town. The townsfolk discuss the need to teach Franz a lesson, and to at the least tie up the traitor who visibly brought them aid when they were kidnapped by a Harmonian. But this, finally, is enough to bring Iku to her rat-faced non-paramour’s defense. She puts herself between Franz and the Le Buqueclones, throwing out her arms. “Stop it, please,” she says, her body conveying all the urgency the text refuses to. “He is a Le Buque native! And he helped us.” Just so we’re clear that if he had not been directly responsible for their rescue, she would not be standing up for him. The townsfolk are ready to turn on Iku, too–it’s kind of amazing that hadn’t happened yet, really–but Franz tells her to step aside. “They’ll never evolve,” he says. “They’ll make you pay too if you don’t back off.” Evolve? Just when I was starting to feel bad for him, he has to go and say something out of a Jordan Peterson book. Eating mantors increases your telomerase and grants you immortality and a bigger dick! It’s why the Harmonians are so interested in this shitty village!

While Iku and Franz are arguing about who should stand aside for whom, Geddy steps into the center of the conflict. Le Buqueclone #2 apologizes to Geddy and promises, “We’ll have this traitor tied up at once!” and Geddy fucking cold-cocks that guy without a moment’s hesitation. It is awesome, and also way more physically animated than any of the fraught fights against monsters were at Mt. Senai. The choices this game makes just baffle me sometimes.

This and the other gif had to be like 80 percent of the game’s animation budget.

The puncher-become-punchee isn’t like “Fuck!” or “My cloned jawline!” or anything like that. Instead, he asks, “Why not? He was working for the Harmonians!” I mean, so was Geddy until like two days ago? But Geddy turns it around on him: “And what were you doing all this time?” This is of course rhetorical, as Geddy knows the answer is, “You did nothing! You just watched and waited while someone else did all the work. What have you done for Le Buque and everyone in it? A coward has no right to condemn someone else!” Listen, I want to be on board with this message of activism and community, but a) the thing Franz was doing has a name, it’s “collaboration,” and it’s bad; and b) Geddy doesn’t know this dude from fucking Adam. He might be the head of some underground anti-Harmonian resistance movement for all he knows. I’m sure he isn’t, he seems like a layabout dick, but so does Franz! So do like 95 percent of the people in this game!

Once Geddy is done thoroughly shaming the citizens of Le Buque, he stalks off across the bridge out of town, where his team is waiting for him, I guess having fled the previous scene in mortification. Ace is bummed out that Geddy didn’t lean on his heroism and fame more, a message he delivers while Geddy is still huffily walking toward him, and at this rate I expect him to shatter Ace’s jaw too. Instead, he sighs, “You know, it’s just not in my nature. I may be too serious for my own good.” YOU THINK? Queen decides this means he thinks he should be more like Isaac–a dude she never met but probably thinks was a shithead if Geddy was at such loggerheads with him–and tells him there’s nothing wrong with being different from the Flame Champion. Well, he’s definitely different from him in one very glaring way now, and he’d better get used to it! Geddy is probably thinking the same thing, and sighs as he remembers his situation all over again, on which we fade to black.

The black screen informs me that Franz, Iku, and Ruby the hideous mantor have been chased out of Le Buque and have therefore joined Team Buttfuck Resistance, an addition to the ranks I could not possibly find less interesting. I can’t wait to see what horrible shit Franz says about Koroku because he thinks dogs can’t understand English. I am then returned to the Wheel of Heroes and prompted to continue the story with Chris. Obviously everything with Chris is going to go great, and she and her True Rune of Last Earthly Connection to Her Dad will be together forever, but nonetheless I think I will save that story for next time. Until part 19, when Luc will definitely not steal any more runes!