Random obligatory post title

Posted by Jeanne
04.23.08

It seems that time has gotten away from me again. It’s not that I’ve forgotten about you guys, it’s just that…well, okay, I’ll confess: I haven’t been playing many games lately. I know! I feel so dirty. But it’s true. Although my game backlog is longer than the list of plotholes in Final Fantasy X-2, I’ve been occupying my time with other hobbies. And class. And work.

There is one game that I’ve been chipping away at every so often for the last…I don’t know…two or three years, and that’s Harvest Moon: Back to Nature. I am determined to beat this game sometime in my life span, even though it is obnoxiously long and repetitive. Don’t get me wrong — it’s completely addictive. But each in-game day takes me an average of 15 minutes of real time to complete. There are 30 days per season, four seasons per year, and three years necessary to “beat” the game. That’s something like 90 hours of real time if my math is correct. Compared to the number of hours I’ve spent in Oblivion it isn’t much, but that doesn’t mean it’s not daunting and kind of pathetic.

I’m sure I could think up a host of sordid backstories for the Harvest Moon cast to entertain you guys, but I hope you’ll forgive me if I don’t put in the effort. The silent farmer “hero” has less personality than the entire cast of Chrono Cross put together. Of course, he did manage to marry and knock up the town alcoholic — who looks like she’s twelve — without sleeping in the same bed as her, so maybe I’ve misjudged him.

The other “news” item which I must mention is, naturally, Gyakuten Kenji. Or Gaykuten Kenji, if you want to keep the VGR naming scheme consistent. This title roughly translates to “Gay-Ass Prosecutor” and you apparently get to play as Miles Edgeworth. So it seems that there are guilty defendants in the Phoenix Wright universe. Who knew? More importantly, since Gumshoe appears to be the sidekick, we will likely be treated to many awkward moments of unrequited gay lust and hero worship. And what better recapping fodder is there?

Also, just to create some discussion — what other fuchsia items will we discover that Edgeworth owns? So far, there are his outfits, his entire office, his knife, his pink DS, his pink apron, and I think I saw something somewhere with a fuchsia bejeweled address book, although that may have been fanart (not that it would be any less accurate). Any guesses what we’ll find out that will make Edgeworth even gayer?

The village isn’t the only thing that’s curious…

Posted by Jeanne
03.25.08

Greetings everyone who thought I was dead after not posting for a while. I have a pretty good excuse this time involving the stomach flu and getting caught up on everything that I couldn’t do while I had the stomach flu. But trust me, you don’t want the details.

The reason I even mentioned my recent ailment is that John very thoughtfully bought me a new game to help me pass the time: Professor Layton and the Curious Village. Some of you mentioned on the forum that you’ve played this game, and all the “It’s a really cute game” and “I like puzzles” type of comments made me think that this would be a fun, innocent adventure. Boy, was I wrong. Horribly, horribly wrong.

Continue reading →

Other People’s Problems

Posted by Jeanne
02.23.08

Dear Diary,

I have been so busy, I can barely stand it!

I was really quite tired when I left the sewers — can you blame me? I’m used to recapping, which involves a lot of sitting on my ass. I guess I shouldn’t complain, since I managed to not die horribly. I took a look at my map to double-check the location of Weynon Priory, and immediately changed my plans. No way was I going to make that trek at night with nothing but some crappy armor and spells to protect me. I decided to find my way into the Imperial City proper and sleep at an inn for the night. Then I could spend some time working on my skills so that I wouldn’t be tragically killed by a mud crab on my way to drop off the Amulet.

Did not need to see that.

Did not need to see that.

To my great chagrin, it took me hours to find a gate that led into the city. Just what I needed — more damn walking! It was the middle of the night by the time I got there, which is probably a good thing, because I was half-expecting to be recognized by someone as a criminal. You know, because of that whole getting thrown in prison incident? Well, the city guards were courteous and polite to me, so that was my giant hint that I was probably safe.

PENIS!

PENIS!

I suppose I should describe the Imperial City. It is the Imperial City, after all. A normal person might describe the way the city is laid out in a circle, divided up into sections, much like Midgar. Or a pie. (Note to self: Find something to eat, preferably not mud crab.) A normal person might also mention the fact that the city was built by the Ayleid civilization and as such, is constructed from assloads of whitish-gray stone. But I am not a normal person — I am a recapper. Therefore, I must comment upon the absolutely huge Imperial Palace tower thrusting upwards from the direct center of the city. That is one massive penis. In fact, I have renamed it in my sick mind to the Imperial Phallus. I should probably be careful not to mention that in casual conversation.

Continue reading →

Happy Freaking Anniversary!

Posted by Jeanne
02.17.08

Six years ago, VGR went live with a very small number of recaps. Because of the lasting power of penis jokes, it has grown to a site with 214 recaps, five recappers, a whole bunch of forum posters, and even more site visitors — some of whom actually enjoy the recaps! Although it hasn’t exactly been the most prolific year in terms of recaps, things started picking up toward the end of 2007 and beginning of 2008, particularly with the addition of this nifty front page blog. In short: yay for VGR!

But you guys don’t want to read about our self-congratulations. You want the goodies. And boy, do we have some (non-sexual) goodies for you!

Recaps:
Phoenix Wright Part 2 by Sam
Final Fantasy VII Part 11 by Jeanne

Both of these are super-sized for your reading pleasure!

And now for the obligatory thank-yous:

Thanks to my fellow recappers for their hilarious contributions to this site, which they do in their own free time for, well, free. You guys are so totally awesome.

Thanks to the forum posters, not just for supporting the site, but for helping me out with gathering quotes for the sidebar. Yeah, I’m behind on updating that, but I still really, really appreciate your help.

And of course, thanks to everyone who reads the site, both supporters and angry fanpersons. The former because it’s great to know that there are people out there with pervy senses of humor who don’t take their games too seriously, and the latter because of the entertainment value (In small doses. I’m not encouraging people to show up and act like massive douchebags.) Obviously we like the site supporters better. 😀

We also have some great things in store for the coming year, so stay tuned!

What’s up Wednesday

Posted by Ryan
02.13.08

I never got into Camp DS, so I don’t know if something really awesome came out for the Gameboy recently, but over here in Wii-ville, I’ve been having a heck of a time keeping myself busy since I beat Mario Galaxy.

I mean, I totally gave in to nostalgia and bought Mario 64 for the Virtual Console and am loving the rusty shopping cart controls (they make Luigi Galaxy seem so easy — oop, spoiler alert!), but life just seems so EMPTY while waiting for the March 9 release of Brawl.

What kind of games have all y’all found to keep you busy this February? Anything you want to share with the class?