The magnum-sized Phoenix Wright recap that covers the end of the Miles Edgeworth murder trial is now complete! Although it doesn’t seem like it, this is one of my very favorite parts of the game, as well as the entire Anal Attorney series. I put a ton of time into this recap, and I hope you all enjoy it, but I couldn’t have done it alone. Sam and I spent many, many hours discussing the case, finding as many plotholes and inconsistencies as possible. We also invented a lot of interesting gay backstories that we’ll be sure to keep expanding on (no pun intended). Sam even did a round of awesome editing on this beast of a recap.
Short version: this recap was a collaborative effort, so major thanks to Sam!
In the comments, please feel free to discuss any other issues with this case that we didn’t cover in the recap. I’m sure there are still lots of them!
Epic. This was just epic. especially, the following (though von Karma and Edgeworth “consommating” makes me want to carve out my eyeballs with a spoon:
“Although John has his own theory on this intense desire for revenge. He believes that von Karma, after suffering a gunshot to the dick, developed a perpetual, excruciating erection. No matter how many times he had his way with Edgeworth and God knows who (or what) else, he was never able to find any sexual relief. We can officially add this fact to VGR canon, thanks to the man I married. Yes, I am so proud of him.”
I cannot even fathom any more plot holes than the six trillion you have found, especially since this (and the next case) were particularly frustrating for me to play through and caused me to “die” multiple times and resort to GameFaqs.
However, I do have a theory about Larry and his “girlfriends.” I don’t think Larry has hooked up with Phoenix or Miles, mainly because I think Miles has a stupidity level he allows in a partner and Phoenix is just about that level and Larry is way below it (though subconsciously he probably wants to.) However, I believe he dates numerous drag queens–main example Kiyance–but he wants them to always be in drag so he can say he is “straight.” They all quickly get fed up with this situation and leave him, and he then finds a new “girlfriend.”
This is all kinds of fanwank, but it sure is fun, no?
Horray, the end of the best case in the entire series! That 38 thing makes absolute sense. 69 has nothing on that shit! And DL-6 really does not make sense at all. Majority of cases make no sense – I’m anxious to see how often you’ll yell “Mistrial” when recapping Case 2-1.
Speaking of inconsistencies, nobody seemed to wonder why the Boat Guy could remember burning his fingerprints off in a chemical plant dozens of years ago, although they repeatedly state he can’t remember anything that was longer than a few days ago.
Favorite part: Phoenix, brandishing the metal detector at crotch level, saunters over to von Karma and starts moving the metal detector slowly downward along his body. Meanwhile, Edgeworth pops the most confusing boner of his life.
By the way, may I do audio-tape versions of your recaps?
Demi: We kicked around the drag queen theory for a good long while, and ultimately if Kiyance isn’t someone we know, or isn’t outright fictional, we’re pretty sure that’s what’s going on here. I have to disagree on Larry and Edgeworth though, since the intelligence Mason-Dixon Line seems arbitrary. After this case I’m not even sure Larry is the dumbest one of the three.
Cat: I’ll have to go hunting through the recap or the script again but I think von Karma says he can’t remember anything past a few years ago, not days. It’s still intensely stupid, of course. Re: audio versions, we would prefer you didn’t for now, because 1) it’s something we’ve considered and would like to keep that option open for ourselves and 2) all the recaps are in need of an editing pass anyway. If it’s something we’re comfortable with signing off on later we’ll be sure to say so!
Thanks for the comments!
I have to give credit to Sam for the confusing boner comment, though. And although my Phoenix/Edgeworth shipper heart cries over imagining them with anyone else, I have to concede that they’ve both probably hooked up with Larry. Obviously, Phoenix has been using Larry as an Edgeworth replacement for years. It is more difficult to imagine Edgeworth with Larry — not necessarily because of the stupidity thing, but because Edgeworth seems just a little too prissy and uptight to hook up with spastic deadbeat Larry. Still, if you look at all the evidence, it’s unavoidable. Sam and I have compiled an entire list called “Larry Theories” that encompasses the entire series (as well as some of our own fanwanky backstory). Just from this case, we have the following:
* Larry resurfaces in the story just when Phoenix and Edgeworth are on a break.
* “Kiyance” gives Larry a pink Santa suit and an inflatable Steel Samurai. (SPOILER: We learn from later games that Edgeworth is a Steel Samurai fanatic.)
* Sam covered this in her recap, but Larry and Edgeworth were at Gourd Lake at the same time on the night of the murder. For some reason, Larry lies to Phoenix about his presence at the lake, only admitting it once it becomes the only way to save Edgeworth.
* “Kiyance” is conveniently out of town on a modeling shoot when Edgeworth is in detention.
* “Kiyance” dumps Larry at the same time Edgeworth is found innocent (and has hooked up with Phoenix again).
Current theory, using Sam’s wording: Larry has a giant penis and is a sexual powerhouse, explaining Edgeworth and Phoenix’s attraction to him despite several other factors that would otherwise make him 100 percent unfuckable. It’s possible he modeled the Thinker clock after his own body.
I also shudder to think of Edgeworth and von Karma hooking up, and it becomes even more disturbing when we find out additional information in other games. Still, I can’t imagine that someone as creepy as Manfred von Karma wouldn’t be sampling those goods on the regular.
Obviously I agree that fanwanking this game is fun.
If Larry modeled the Thinker clock after his own body, why is his large penis not visible then? Although I guess it’s likely Cindy or any previous ‘gal’ got jealous, having others see the good meat, and got the chisel out. (Ouch!)
As for that whole Karma-Edgeworth thing, I think I’ll have nightmares about that… although changing the injury from shoulder to dick definitely made me enjoy the case more. I know this game is made for people who aren’t proficient in law, but the setup for these cases are just dumb. (Again, 2-1 always makes me scream in agony about the stupidity)
And thank you, VGR. Your penis innuendos and gay jokes are what made me try out the Anal Attorney games to begin with. And I saw that they really were as gay as you said. It makes them funnier.
All the above: Fair enough. That’s what makes these games so fun, right?
I do look forward to the future though, as the gay and WTF bars are continually raised. I am kind of scared of what next and newest game will hold. Doesn’t mean I won’t play it, though.
Well GS5 has another chick sidekick… although this one seems to be a lawyer herself, so hopefully she’ll have some idea of the law. No promises, though. I’m just glad that they put Edgeworth into the game – Woohoo!!
Still not sure if I’ll get it. It looks terrible…
Saying this probably makes me a shill, but if you can afford it and you’re on the fence, you should get it. If the game does well, it might convince Capcom to put out Ace Attorney Investigations 2 finally, or at least make it easier for them to justify releasing future installments here.
Awesome recap,as usual! Also, I can’t wait to see you tackling the extra chapter, too!
“If Larry modeled the Thinker clock after his own body, why is his large penis not visible then? Although I guess it’s likely Cindy or any previous ‘gal’ got jealous, having others see the good meat, and got the chisel out. (Ouch!)”
Nope. My theory is… Well, the Thinker ain’t sitting on a rock, which suggest a high flexibilty, indeed.
Fair enough, although I like to believe that by the time Capcom brings us GK2 that the Fantranslation will be done. I’m playing the game right now – although my Kanji knowledge isn’t that great. It seems okay, not as funny as the first one. But I don’t like E-Shop stuff, my 3DS isn’t connected to the internet and… really, aside from Edgeworth, I see no reason to get the game. Phoenix’ sprites have the same stupid blowjob faces he does as a rookie attorney which shouldn’t be done considering he’s older, more mature and was a freaking Poker Player for the last 7 years. He must have learned how to put a freaking Poker face on.
Then again, this is Phoenix…
Didn’t Von Karma adopt Edgeworth? God, he’s like a fucked-up evil Dumbeldore. And does Edgeworth have to use that elevator to get to court everyday, because that would be creepy as hell. On a lighter note, the four way Phoenix/Edgeworth/Butz/Gumshoe love drama has me on the edge of my seat and I loved the timeline nonsense. Also, does anyone know if luminol detects semen?
The luminol and semen question is one we’ll be addressing in great detail.
Yes, Luminol reacts to blood as well as semen.
I’m pretty sure Edgeworth refuses to use the elevator in the courthouse or the prosecutor offices, opting to use the stairs every day, and by god is Phoenix thankful that he does that. Every day, walking up and down those stairs? Sweetest ass ever modeled!
I love how everyone goes on and on about how “murder is murder”, but even if they did go with Edgeworth’s story without ever figuring out the truth of things, wouldn’t an accidental shooting be, at worst, manslaughter? Of course, it’s an AA game and it’s always murder and not even kids are safe, so I’m just overthinking the very thing this game doesn’t want you to think about: the law.
Can’t wait for the next case, even though I know it’s a long, convoluted bitch-and-a-half complete with trap evidence.
I completely agree with you Xyrafhoan, I have the exact same ideas with this game. Heck, next case involves the term Self-Defense and even the next game (technically came out before Case 1-5) also has a mention of Justified Self-Defense. Which in law means that you were kind of in the right of doing anything, even resulting in killing someone, to protect your own life since it was in danger.
A ton of these cases can be that. Case 1-3, if we are hate-filled enough to remember, is technically a Self-Defense for… that… woman. I forget her name. Vasquez.
Oh man I can’t wait for the recap of Case 2-4, it’ll be so much fun to read how you rip into it! I always wanna smack Phoenix around to grow some balls in that case, which he never does.
Yeah, the attitudes toward the crimes in this game’s third and fourth cases alone prove that this series has a pretty casual relationship with actual law. Not to mention the whole “consulting spirit mediums” thing.
Especially since for DL-6, they act as if it’s totally normal to consult a spirit channeler – why did they even need to get one? And then in 2-2 it’s suddenly a cock-‘n’-bull thing to even mention and then in 3-5 it’s suddenly back to “Oh yeah, this is totally legit!”
DL-6 is totally nonsensical, I agree. But I’ve gotten so much mileage out of my von Karma headdesk .gif, so I guess it’s a net wash there.
(Out of curiosity, are you guys planning on tackling Justice For All? Because it has my favorite character in it, terrifying whip and all.)
We’re absolutely doing the sequels. Even if it takes us…I dunno, fifty years.
Excellent, excellent. I know it sounds weird but
JusticeButtsex For All is probably my favorite of the sequels because reasons. I may have to replay it just so I can follow along.Even if it takes years, I’ll look forward to tackling the various cases. Especially 3-5. I think that is the worst case in the Anal Attorney Trilogy. 3-5 and 2-4, worst cases I played. And 1-5, but I like to imagine it doesn’t exist.
I just spent the last few days reading through all the Anal Attorney recaps.
Must be a death wish caused by stupidity. And I found a song about a guy being shot in the dick, this will be my new Karma Theme Song.
“Buttsex For All”
*dies*
I loved this juggernaut of a recap so very much. Major props for managing to compile all those plotholes and inconsistencies without ending up in an institution.
I’m ashamed to admit that I haven’t played any of the Anal Attorney games beyond this one, but it looks like I’ll have to remedy that sooner rather than later if they’re going to be recapped too!
Wow, you guys. I’ve been gone on vacation, and haven’t had a chance to respond to anything.
Thanks! That’s right, last week I was on vacation, not an institution. Yeah.
Hee! And yes, that happened. We decided to leave our discussion of that particular plot point until we get to it in the sequels. But holy shit. At least we know the family court system is just as fucked up as the criminal courts in this universe.