Suikoden IV Part 5

Posted by Jeanne
06.04.13

Things get high tech for Marvy in the latest installment, but also sad and humiliating. And just wait until you see what Marvy’s HQ actually is. This stunning plot twist puts Game of Thrones to shame.

6 thoughts on “Suikoden IV Part 5”

  1. demidaemon

    Wow, Sam is on a role lately! Awesome, awesome, awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(Suikoden punctuation intended.)

    Again, she outdid herself with the captions again. But my favorite laugh out loud line was the following, because I truly did not see it coming:

    “Colton is all, ‘Yeah, and now I have to go soothe him with my wrinkly penis so he’ll stop crying. I hate my job.'”

    I look forward to more stories of the Buttsex Pirates and those other ugly or annoying people of Suikoden IV.

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  2. Sam

    Thanks, I’m glad you’ve been enjoying the recaps! I make fun of this game being boring–because it is–but it’s got a lot of funny material, too.

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  3. Jeanne Post author

    I love everything with Oleg. Poor Marvy. This keeps cracking me up:

    And the perfect capper to Marvy’s lame day: his sudden pang of grief over losing Slowe leads to a Black Screen of Bad Decisions, after which he is standing in his romantic hotel room that night, staring at Oleg, fast asleep in one of the beds. Oh, Marvy. You didn’t. This is not the way. You’re not winning the breakup by fucking Oleg. Marvy slowly comes to realize this–maybe because I’m yelling it at him and he can hear me–and is ready to bolt through the door, when he’s rudely interrupted by another cutscene.

    Black Screen of Bad Decisions might be my favorite Black Screen yet.

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  4. Ben

    Wait…it’s a BOAT!?!?

    That “twist” makes me shake my head to this day, and you captured the utter ridiculousness of it perfectly. Awesome job.

    Oleg’s “camera box” never appeared in any of the (chronologically) later games, did it? I have a theory that Marvy, as soon as he got his 108 Stars ending, murdered Oleg and smashed up his device, partly out of shame and partly to spare future Tenkais the humiliation of appearing in sex tapes with any of Oleg’s descendants. I know the possibility of Oleg procreating is slim to none, but still.

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  5. Sam

    I may be blocking out some memory of a video camera in Suikoden V, but short of that no, it’s the only time such a device has appeared in the series. You’re likely correct–Marvy realized the danger he’d be putting his spiritual successors into and threw the thing into the ocean.

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  6. Jeanne Post author

    I know the possibility of Oleg procreating is slim to none, but still.

    Oh man, let’s not even go into the many terrible ways that might be possible.

    But even in the absence of a horrible Oleg mpreg scenario, there are so many ugmos that should not be caught on camera with the Tenkai stars in a moment of weakness. Best to destroy the technology before it falls into the wrong hands.

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