Just as she did the night before, Nina ambushes the party in the hall, this time with a question for Nanami. Have Barry and Nanami (let alone the others) used their phony names even once since they got here? Sigh. Okay, so here’s Nina’s super-important question: “Um, do you know what Sir Flik likes?? I want to make him a really fantastic dinner, but I’m not sure what to do…” I’m sure a suggestion to prepare Flik a nice plump sausage, nudge, would fall on deaf ears with this girl. But Nanami is a helpful person, and tries to come up with something. Unfortunately, this is the best she can do: “I, I don’t really know, but… Um, first, why don’t you take some really bracing tincture, or something, then just, uh, go for it like mad. Even if you make some mistakes, it’s, uh, the thought that counts…”
So I’ll be honest: I have no fucking idea what Nanami just said. And not in the way that I normally find her incomprehensible–this statement could very well be in a foreign language. I have never in my life, except in this scene, seen or heard the phrase “bracing tincture,” and Googling has gotten me nowhere. I do know what a tincture is, generally speaking, and I am therefore forced to conclude that Nanami is suggesting that Nina drug Flik and do unspeakable things to him in his sleep. I am worried that this could lead to mpreg fanfictions. Hell, could? This game is several years old. I’m sure the fanbase is way ahead of me on this. In conclusion: I am scared for Flik. Very, very scared.
You get a screenshot of this because I refuse to transcribe it.
Nina seems to think this isn’t a bad idea–whatever this idea actually is–and bids them thanks and goodnight. “Oh, Nanami, I forgot to tell you…” she adds, as the music suddenly spookifies in the background, “don’t make too much noise at night. If you start a pillow fight, or something, you might wake up the ‘wandering ghost.'” And gullible Nanami totally buys it, flipping out, stuttering and spinning in circles like a ghost is going to pop out of the wall any second. She begs Barry to reassure her that there’s no such thing as ghosts. Barry, of course, chooses to answer “At the stroke of midnight…” in what I hope is an at least passable Vincent Price voice. Nanami freaks some more. Oh, Nanami. She’s almost too easy. (Not like that.)
Maybe she should be scared.
Over the Black Screen of Nighttime, there are ominous creaking noises. When we fade into morning, Nanami greets Barry, and it’s obvious she has been up all night, shaking in her pajamas. Luc asks her if she’s been awake all night because of one stupid lie Nina told her. “Wh, wh, what?? Of course not!!” she says. Muku Ranger Red’s contribution to this conversation is an insightful “Mun????” That sums it up, right there.
As soon as Barry exits the dorms, Luc asks “Where did he go?” I’m not sure who Luc means, though I’m guessing Flik, of whom there is no sign anywhere in Greenhill. If he’s holed up in a bomb shelter somewhere to wait out Nina dying of old age, I wouldn’t blame him. Speaking of Nina, the group finds her in a shadowy hallway in the main school building. Barry figures she might know, so he asks her where Flik is. But Nanami’s newfound fraidy-cat-ness cannot be denied for another second, so she interrupts to ask Nina if she was serious about that ghost. Nina basically laughs in her face and tells her she completely made it up. “Oh, but…a lot of kids have been seeing weird shadows and stuff at night lately…… It might be true after all.” Look, honey, either you made it up or you didn’t. Pick one. Nanami’s practically plotzing, here.
Ask this girl what she thinks of wire hangers!
With that out of the way, Nina jumps up in Nanami’s face, primed for a catfight. She pulls the “I thought you were my friend!” routine, and when Nanami makes it clear through an assload of question marks that she’s not really following, Nina elaborates: “I was hanging around Sir Flik’s place yesterday, and…he has someone he loves?? Someone who’s ‘always with him’??” Nanami, not quite the brightest Crayola in the box, is still confused, but eventually puts together that Nina thinks this person is her. “I won’t give up!” Nina screams at her. “Nanami!! It’s a duel!!!” And she storms off, no doubt to sacrifice a kitten in front of her Altar of the Blue Lightning.
Now, as much as I would like to deny that Flik has a lady love in his heart, we know the person he is actually referring to is Odessa Silverberg, who died three years ago from a terminal case of Maternal Instinct with complications due to Not Being the Main Character. But: in the grueling aftermath of being stuck in a crumbling castle, did he find comfort, emotional and physical, from a certain hulking bear of a man who’s been his life-mate ever since? I’m not sayin’, I’m just sayin’.
For some reason, when I played through this part I decided to spend the next ten minutes talking to every single Suikoclone student in the building. So I let my tape run and get up to prepare lunch. When I get back from making a grilled cheese sandwich, Barry is just leaving the building. Of course, now that we got that intriguing piece of the “plot” with Nina out of the way, Flik decides to make an appearance. I mean, it would have been completely illogical kind of awkward if Flik were in the party during that scene, so the game designers contrived to keep Flik away Flik’s timing here sure is perfect.
Flik admits up front that he’s been hard to find today because he’s been avoiding Nina, instead of trying to pretend that he’s been doing any real work. (I mean, none of the others have been doing anything, either, but still.) Nanami, through a black screen, basically says to Flik, “Speaking of Nina, she thinks you and I are forming the beast with two backs.” Flik is horrified. “Oh, man… How could this have happened? Don’t worry, though, Nanami…I’m not interested in children girls.” How different the dialogue in this game would be if I had been consulted. Less punctuation, more innuendo!
Yeah, he’s sort of been calling you that the entire game.
Anyway, as interesting as Flik’s nonexistent love affair with a teenage girl is, there’s work to be done for the mission. Flik says they are to head into town and meet up with Big Gay Fitcher. Who would no doubt laugh himself breathless at Flik’s current problem, if he heard about it. And Barry really thinks they need to take the time to tell him.
The party finds Big Gay Fitcher on the next screen, getting harassed by some homophobic locals. One of them calls Fitcher a “traitor,” another accusing him of “sneaking around, all suspicious-like.” Gentlemen, he cannot help it if he is light on his feet! Big Gay Fitcher protests that he is no “traitor,” but they’re totally onto his lying ass! “You are! You are!” one of them yells. “I can tell from your Muse accent! You’re with those bastards from Muse!!” And now they’re all over his lisp! This is not cool. One man gives Fitcher a rough shove, not listening to his feeble pleading. Flik tells the others to stay where they are–he’ll go save the day. Barry’s not going to argue–this whole thing is making him uncomfortable.
Flik approaches the small mob, asking what this flamboyant gentleman did to get this treatment. They tell him to get lost, as this is Greenhill business and doesn’t concern him. “Well, yeah, I am a stranger here, so I don’t know the whole situation,” Flik says, “but…aren’t Greenhill and Muse comrades-in-arms?” Is that like “butt buddies”? “Hmph, you don’t know anything,” the one who shoved Fitcher answers. “If the bastards from Muse weren’t here, this never would have happened to us. They stabbed us in the back…betrayed us! This idiot here’s one of them.” Well, that sheds a little light on what happened here, but not enough to make me think an overblown flashback sequence is not still in the cards.
Big Gay Fitcher just about blows it and reveals that this reasonable stranger is his friend, but reins himself in just in time, calling him “kind traveller.” Of course, Flik, like most of the people in the Yaoi Army, enjoys watching Big Gay Fitcher suffer, so he chooses this time to say, “Hmm, a traitor, huh? He sold out his allies? He can’t get away with this!” The Greenhill guys are all, “Yeah! Yeah!” until Flik adds, “Hmm. I don’t think his crimes are grave enough to warrant a lynching, but… Why not just hack his head off? Here, you can use my sword.” And he holds it out, for the nearest strapping male to grab. Not like that, guys.
Predictably–and it’s a good thing this is predictable, or Big Gay Fitcher would probably be dead on the ground now–none of the angry locals want to get charged with a hate crime, even if they can’t stand the idea of one of those lisping Muse bastards roaming free on their streets. “Hmph,” Flik says, “Have you no backbones?! Looks like I’ll have to do it…” Flik raises his sword to chop off Fitcher’s head, Fitcher crouches down in fright, the locals run off, and everyone laughs at Fitcher. Ha ha, you thought you were going to die!
The group, Big Gay Fitcher included, relocates to someone’s backyard to talk strategy. Flik, lounging in the kiddie pool, says, “I see… You’ve found no trace of Teresa.” Fitcher, from his perch in the tire swing, replies that he thinks she must be hiding somewhere nearby. Wow, that’s helpful, how long did it take you to figure that out? Why does Barry pay this guy, again? To hammer home that point, when Flik says they will all keep looking and meet up again soon, Big Gay Fitcher fans his face and says he is too afraid of getting lynched to keep hanging around Greenhill. Okay, you’re fired, then. Have fun painting your nails in the unemployment line. Of course, Barry doesn’t say that, because he’s a nice boy. Sigh.
“Oh, I almost forgot,” Big Gay Fitcher adds. “The general that brought Greenhill down is coming back here in two or three days… This guy knows what time it is, if you know what I mean, so be careful.” No, I’m afraid I don’t know what you mean, Big Gay Fitcher. He knows what time it is? Since we all know who this general is, I would guess he knows that it will soon be “Rip Barry’s bruised and battered heart in twain” time. Also, does Fitcher know that it’s Jowy or not? If he does–and it seems like this is the case–it’s pretty cruel to withhold that information from Barry, since Fitcher knows they know each other. Intimately.
Back to the academy, for another ridiculous scene with Nina. Of course, this whole episode would be a total bore without her, so I’m thankful for her squealing, idiotic presence. When Nina sees the group coming up the path to the school, she screams, “Ahhhhh!! Nanami, you’re HORRIBLE! Are you standing between me and my Sir Flik again?!” Flik could take this opportunity to be a man, gently take Nina aside, and tell her, “It’s nothing personal, I’m just not into brain-damaged Aaron Carter fans.” But instead he takes the wimpiest route possible, and runs off like a girl, leaving this hornet’s nest in Barry’s hands. Thanks bunches, Flik. Thankfully, Nina would rather chase after her crush than get into a hair-pulling fight with Nanami, so she runs off too. Peace and quiet for Barry, at last.
Following another installment of Eating Dinner on Campus–in this episode we discover that Nanami hates spinach!–the kids again come back to the dorms and are again confronted by Nina, who AGAIN is all up in Nanami’s grill for being within a mile radius of her man. The kids walk off as Nina is still waxing lyrical about Sir Flik. “That day, that hour…” she’s rambling, “I felt the hand of destiny upon my brow when Sir Flik fought in my honor. Aaah…I’ve heard the poets speak of it, but to FEEL it… Just talking about it makes me swoon… Sigh.” I have a feeling that, at the end of the game when we get to see what all the Stars of Destiny end up doing with their lives, we’ll find out that Nina ends up going into the greeting card writing business.
Before they go to bed, Luc teases Nanami about the “ghost.” I must have ADD like Nanami, because I’d forgotten all about that, between Nina’s craziness and Big Gay Fitcher nearly getting his big gay ass kicked. Nanami insists that she’s not afraid, and the boys and girls separate for bedtime. Hot.
In the middle of the night, the “ghost” noises return, and Barry wakes to find Nanami and Lassie at his door, crying like wusses. Yes, I am making fun of a teenager and a little girl for being scared in the dead of night. I would say I’m a bad person, except that they’re fictional and I don’t care about how fair it is to ridicule them. Anyway, they’re freaked, and convinced there is a real ghost in the dorms. They force Barry to wander around the hallway, looking for it, while they trail behind him like frightened mice. Of course, Barry thinks this is ludicrous, until he sees a shadowy figure run down the hallway and up the stairs. Eeek!
Barry chases the shadow all the way through every floor until he ends up in the basement, at a dead end. There are five lamps on the wall, and all but the one in the middle are very conspicuously lit. Oh, I wonder what I am supposed to do. Barry, out of my control, walks to the end of the room and spins in a circle–I guess that’s supposed to be him looking around the room. The party breaks out of him to discuss their plan of action. Hmm, going back to bed seems like a good plan, but what do I know? Nanami freaks, “AIEEE!! No, no, no, no!!! Now it’s gone!! What’s happening?!” She begs Barry to go back in a stammering consonant fest that I’m not going to bother typing out, but Barry is going to find this ghost, now that he’s already awake. Not that he wouldn’t like to go back to spooning with Luc in their single bed, but Luc is probably too grumpy now to be in the mood. And it’s all this damn ghost’s fault.
Nanami makes me sad.
When his fellow party members are done being stupid, Barry walks straight over to the unlit lamp and lights it. A secret panel opens up in the wall, right where Barry was just standing. Whoa, I didn’t see that coming! Through the door is a secret passage, which leads to the main building of the academy. Spilling out of the doorway, Nanami shouts her, uh, battle cry: “Ah! There it goes!! All right! It’s not a ghost, then. Hah!! How DARE you scare a lady?! I will not forgive!!” Sometimes I think this translation was done by Japanese high school students as a project for English class.