Outside the school building, the party spots Nina, walking backwards as she regales a friend with the story of her magical afternoon: “Yeah, really! Omigosh he was SO COOL!! It’s as if he was, like, fighting just for me! He was like…My Prince Charming…” Barry snickers behind his hands–since this is happening to someone other than himself, he’s allowed to find it hilarious. Nina’s friend seems to think that she’s taken a bump to the head and is therefore imagining this dashing man, to which Nina hilariously responds, “Of course not. Ohh, those eyes, that smile…the flower of chivalry is not dead…” Flower of chivalry? Seriously, this could not be funnier. Only it gets better, when Nina turns around and sees Her Prince Charming standing there, staring blankly at her. Nina screams that destiny has brought them together again. “It’s like a dream!” she goes on, not noticing that Flik is looking at her like she’s got the Black Plague. On the contrary, Nina believes that Flik has come to the school specifically to look for her, his lady love. I should add that, during this whole exchange, Nina’s sprite is bouncing up and down like she’s an excited puppy. This is fantastic.

Flik pretends that he doesn’t know who this girl is, so she introduces herself as Nina, like we can’t read the name under her portrait. “Um, um…” she stammers, “I…I wonder…if my lord could tell me…his name?” Flik is backing up so forcefully at this point that he’s pushing Luc right off the screen. Before even hearing what Her Prince Charming’s name is, she runs back to her friend, all, “See? See? This is him! I told you he was handsome, didn’t I?” Nina’s friend is less than impressed–I guess she isn’t a fan of the color blue.

While Nina is distracted by her friend blaspheming Her Prince Charming’s obvious hotness, Nanami tells Flik they should get going. Nina’s ears perk up and she comes running back to the group. “My lord is called Flik? What a wonderful name! If I may be so bold as to ask, whatever is my lord doing here?” After a beat, she voices her wildest fantasy: “Y, you couldn’t…really be here to see me…?” Of course he is, Nina! You’re the beard of his dreams! Flik grumbles something about visiting the school. Big mistake. Nina claps her hands in delight. “Then please, let me be your guide!” she squeals. “I know this school like the back of my hand. Shall we be off, then, Sir Flik?” And before he can utter a word of protest, Nina grabs him by his blue cape and drags him off to spend the rest of the afternoon in heterosexual bliss.

Best. Scene. Ever.

After all the excitement of seeing Flik humiliated and subjected to the whims of a horny teenage girl, everyone is worn out and ready for some rest. (You can tell because they all have one token line to say, and not one of them makes any sense in the context of this scene. They must be exhausted!) Nanami suggests that they go check out their rooms in the dormitory.

‘Never heard of it.’

The lady at the front desk of the dorm identifies the kids as “the new students” and tells them where they can find their rooms. Even though they’re registering in the middle of the year and with no advance notice, the school just happens to have empty rooms waiting for them. Convenient. Fortunately for Barry, the rooms are not coed, so he gets to share a room with Luc and the two animals, making his evenings Nanami and Lassie free. And he’s making Shiro and Muku Ranger Red sleep on the floor, if you follow me.

A black screen covers the kids’ time at dinner–making it so we don’t wonder where the cafeteria is, as there is no such building on campus–and we rejoin them returning to their rooms. Perhaps because she grew up poor and possibly starving, Nanami is extremely impressed with the cafeteria food. When I lived in the dorms they served leftover-ground-beef-and-lemon-slices pizza. It’s no wonder that I spent my first two years of college eating nothing but Golden Grahams.

Nina runs down the party in the hallway, fresh from her magical day with her non-boyfriend. She’s learned from Flik that he is their “escort,” so I guess Nina is already aware that her new man is a male prostitute. Maybe she’s into that. Nanami can barely get a word out before Nina is giving her a once-over, examining her like a piece of meat. Nanami, who is so used to people disparaging her physical appearance, can’t quite get her head around this one. And why is Flik’s stalker checking her out? Nina, done with her inspection, clarifies: “I’m clearly much more beautiful than you. I don’t have to worry about you stealing Sir Flik away from me.” And for once, I’m not gonna rip Nanami on her punctuation use, because “……….” about sums it up for me, too. Although “Hahahahahahahaha!!!” would also be a valid reaction.

Now that Nina is sure Nanami–as opposed to the squirrel or the dog, who are surely more likely prospects to be Flik’s lovers–is no threat to her, she says they’ll become “good friends.” Yikes. Pass. The group collectively stares at Nina like she has three heads as the scene fades out.

The next morning, Nanami totally invades Barry’s private boys-and-boy-animals-only room to shake him out of bed. Lassie is there too, yawning because she probably had to listen to Nanami snore and talk in her sleep all night. Nanami says Lassie has “caught [Barry’s] sleepyhead syndrome.” I can’t decide if that is more or less annoying than “case of the Mondays.” And really, does it matter if it is? Shut up, Nanami.

In search of breakfast Lady Teresa, the kids head outside, only to be accosted by a panicked-looking Flik the second they are out the front door. Flik, clearly hurried, says he thinks Shin of the Conspicuous Yellow Turban just might know where Teresa is. NO!!! The rest of the group didn’t come to that conclusion the second they got here or anything. Flik says he’s going to spend his day looking for Shin, and asks that the kids do the same, saying that people might be more likely to talk to them than to his goofy ass. He adds, “And don’t be conspicuous!” This amazing display of obliviousness and hypocrisy on Flik’s part just made me actually shout “Idiot!” at my monitor in the Napoleon Dynamite voice.

And then Flik is off, barely managing to tell his charges to be careful to avoid Highland soldiers in town. Well, what lit a fire under his ass? Right on cue, Nina comes charging around the side of the building, about as breathless as Flik was, wondering where her Knight in Shining Blue Cape has gone. “Hey, Nanami!” she demands, “Have you seen Sir Flik?” Nanami points in some direction, but Nina is immediately suspicious that Nanami, that man-stealing bitch, is purposely misleading her. Now, since we don’t see where Nanami pointed to, I have no idea if Nina is even remotely in the ballpark on this one–probably not, since her freakish paranoia about losing her man seems to be skewing her judgment, such as it is. I think it’s more likely that Nanami pointed in the right direction, since she’s dense enough to not comprehend that Flik was breathless and hurried because he was running the fuck away from this psychotic young lady. Whatever the case, Nina decides to take Nanami’s word for it and takes off in the indicated direction, whining, “And after I made him this delicious box lunch…!” What’s the betting that there’s a boiled rabbit head in there?

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Nanami, who seems to be at a loss for words with this Nina business, suggests that they go look for Flik now. Emilia ambushes them at the campus gate. “By the way…” she asks, “Will you be going into town?” No, they were walking down here just to look at that shrubbery over there. Emilia, just as Flik did five seconds ago, warns the group about going into town today, since there are a lot of Highland soldiers. Okay, aside from the fact that another character just said this, the town is fucking occupied by the Highland Army. Wow, what a novel concept, that there are Highland soldiers in town. Jesus. Emilia goes on to say that the campus is lacking a military presence because it’s been cleared by “the commander from Highland.” Oh yes, that mystery person. “Why a person that uses such brutal tactics would leave the Academy alone is beyond me,” she says, “but I’m grateful.” Hmm, a person with a sharp military mind but a soft spot for kids? WHO DO WE KNOW WHO FITS THAT DESCRIPTION. LET ME THINK. THIS SURE IS A STUMPER.

I’m really not sure how much longer I can take this. Jowy, please, hurry up and reveal yourself to Barry. Yes, like that.

In town, there doesn’t seem to be much of a difference in the NPC distribution, except at the inn. Highland soldiers are blocking off all entrances, and one tells Barry, “Teresa’s supposed to be hiding in this inn somewhere. We’ll tear up the floorboards to find her if we need to, ha ha ha ha!!” How bad of a job would these Highland guys be doing if she were just holed up at the inn? Wouldn’t that be among the first places they would look for her? And how dumb would she have to be to actually hide there? This is stupid all around.

When the kids come around to the inn’s front entrance only to see some more Highland troops accosting the owners, Nanami wisely decides they should stay back. Our heroes hide in the bushes, then, as the owners of this mom-and-pop operation beg the soldiers to leave, insisting they’ve done nothing wrong. One soldier gets up in the owner’s face, saying, “Shut your mouth!! We’ve received information that Teresa’s holed up in this building!” Where a lying man would fall all over himself trying to convince the soldier of the falsity of this information, this obviously honest man only replies, “Th…that’s…a lie… Who would say such a thing?” See, he’s more interested in finding out what asshole is trying to ruin his business. The Highland soldier tells him it was a “former soldier from Muse” who ratted out the innkeeper. “To think he’d sell out an ally for such a pittance… You people are pathetic!” The innkeeper cryptically mentions “that battle” while his wife and daughter cry behind him.

Back in the safety of the bushes, Nanami wonders what they should do. Barry decides that, consequences be damned, he’s gonna be a man and help these people out. Hopefully it won’t result in him ending up with some clingy little blonde trailing him like a shadow. But before he can move from his hiding spot, Captain Prickface enters stage right, demanding that his underlings take some action instead of jawing with the innkeeper all day. He suggests burning down the inn. I was under the impression that the Highland Army needed Teresa alive, so…either I’m wrong, the Prick is really stupid, or no one really believed Teresa was here anyway and that this whole episode was for show. Obviously, I am leaning toward the second option.

And now Shin, resplendent in his blinding orange and yellow wardrobe, enters the scene, to ask the Prick what his damage is, and what reason he has for harassing these poor citizens. “What reason?” he asks. “It’s obvious. You’re not telling me where Teresa is. You’re bringing this on yourself!” Well, that’s true, but it’s not like saying this is going to make Shin smack his forehead, all, “Wow, you’re right, what an oversight. Here’s a map to her location.”

Shin stares down the Prick and replies, “When we surrendered, the Lord Commander of Highland promised no more violence…” Yeah, and Kiba told Makai they were going to sign a peace treaty. The Highlanders are liars, son. The Prick puts things in perspective: “That’s right…if he hadn’t made such a promise, we’d be torturing each and every one of you until you talked. As you can see, the commander is really a very peaceable man.” Ouch. Shin can’t come up with a response to that. Defeated, Shin, the innkeeper and his family are forced to watch as the Prick’s men search the inn for Teresa. A black screen later, they’re gone. I guess we can assume that means she wasn’t there, huh? I know I’m surprised.

Shin apologizes to the innkeeper for the trouble. He quickly replies that it’s fine, as long as their beloved Lady Teresa is okay. His wife has a little more sense. “What are you talking about!!!” she shrieks. “You’re the reason we’re in this mess!!! That cowardly mayor of yours…” After a stammered apology of sorts to Shin for his wife’s demeanor, like she doesn’t have every right to be pissed off, the innkeeper slinks inside with his family, and Shin takes off like he’s got rocket boots. Nanami urges Barry to follow him, like he has any chance of catching up when his sprite literally cannot move as fast as Shin’s. Back at the school, Nanami’s all, “Where did he go?” like they just barely missed him, when they never so much as saw him after he took off. More to the point, she says, “And…that battle everyone’s talking about…I wonder what happened?” Don’t worry, Nanami. I’m sure we’ll get some overblown flashback sequence to explain it to us sooner or later. Meanwhile, Lassie is tired, so the group returns to the dorms. Maybe they shouldn’t be dragging a six year old around town all day on a fact-finding mission. If Emilia’s so eager to be helpful to our heroes, she can help them find a daycare service.

We go through the exact same routine that happened the night before: Barry parts with Nanami and Lassie to rest until dinner, we get a black screen, and then rejoin the kids as they return from dinner. Nanami is still gushing about the awesome cafeteria food, noting that she went back for “plenty of seconds.” Nanami’s only been here two days and she’s already working on the freshman fifteen. She even tells Barry that he should have eaten more, as he’s “a growing boy.” Barry would like to stay trim and sexy, thank you very much. No one in the Yaoi Army wants a pudgy leader. Least of all Shu.