It’s a sad day for everyone involved when Krin’s idea is the only solution to a problem. He offers to share his grand plan with PUGGY!!!. Faced with no other options, PUGGY!!! decides to hear him out. Krin refuses to tell them his plan in the common room, for fear that one of the two other people might overhear him. So he leads the group into the inn’s single room. Gremio immediately becomes suspicious that Krin is trying to put the moves on his precious PUGGY!!!.
Krin explains that Lepant refuses to see them because he doesn’t want to be involved with any plots against the Imperial Army. This is clearly at odds with what Mathiu told them, as Cleo mentions. Krin doesn’t give a crap about that, but he displays his extensive Lepant knowledge by listing the two things Lepant is obsessed with. One is his wife, Eileen. The other is his sword, Kirinji. Well, that’s an odd name for his “sword” but to each their own, I guess. Krin’s brilliant idea is for PUGGY!!! and the others to steal Kirinji, and when Lepant chases them down, to use this opportunity to have a heart to heart with him. Because I know that if someone stole my prized possession, I sure would want to help them out. Krin tells them to meet him at Lepant’s mansion in a little while, and then leaves. “Are we pretending to be thieves now? How pathetic!” Gremio whines. Viktor points out that they are thieves. Gremio ponders stealing away Young Master’s virginity.
The screen does the fade-out-fade-in thingy that means that some time has passed, and then Cleo says they should get going. There’s a fake-sounding owl hoot, indicating that it’s nighttime. PUGGY!!! and the others head out of the inn, where they find Krin standing conspicuously next to the spiky wall surrounding Lepant’s property. Krin jumps up and down a couple of times and a rope magically appears from an overhanging tree branch. That must have taken quite a bit of effort. I’m sure no one in PUGGY!!!’s party could have done that.
Viktor asks if Krin is coming along, but of course the useless little bastard acts like what he just did was akin to brain surgery and says he’ll wait for them outside. PUGGY!!! and pals climb up the rope, walk across Lepant’s roof, and climb down through a hole. Inside the mansion, PUGGY!!! has to walk across the rafters, which are the most misaligned rafters I have ever seen. There are also random broken spots, which make it into a veritable maze, but for some reason still manage hold up the roof. Lepant likes to hide treasure chests in his rafters, apparently, and some of them are placed right next to the broken areas. Yeah, that’s a great idea, Lepant.
There is a ladder leading down into the mansion proper, and I’m wondering if Lepant likes to have all these random ladders lying about, or if Krin actually did more than stand there and look stupid, and set up the ladders himself. Even though this game is set in a medieval world, Lepant managed to get his hands on a vast number of robot soldiers. They attack the party, randomly, of course, and still none of the fighting alerts anyone in the household to the presence of the intruders. That’s an awesome defensive system Lepant has set up there.
Speaking of great systems Lepant has, a lone guard named Rock (complete with character portrait) guards a measly little treasure room containing two treasure chests. Instead of actually, you know, guarding the chests, he asks PUGGY!!! questions about the vault at Penis Castle. Specifically, he wants to know if it’s large. I think Gremio would be best equipped to answer that. Rock seems disappointed that Penis Castle doesn’t have a vault yet, but just the possibility that there might be a big vault there someday causes him to quit right on the spot and join the Liberation Army. This allows PUGGY!!! to raid Lepant’s treasure.
It sure is, baby.
The next room has holes in the floor, revealing a bunch of huge, moving gears. Visible robot soldiers guard this area, but all PUGGY!!! has to do is walk behind them and they don’t notice him. I guess these people just aren’t ready for technology yet.
PUGGY!!! winds his way through the mansion, which doesn’t seem to have any sort of sense to its floor plans. There are random rooms everywhere, with nothing resembling a normal hallway. PUGGY!!! finds treasure chests in just about every room. He helps himself, figuring that since he’s about to steal the guy’s prized possession, he might as well take everything else of value, too.
A guy named Juppo stands next to one of the doorways. Like PUGGY!!!, he wears bright clothing, but he manages to look even more gay. The crowning achievement (so to speak) of his wardrobe is his extremely masculine pink hat with a little puffball on it. When PUGGY!!! talks to him, he is startled, as he obviously didn’t hear all the noisy fighting. Viktor demands to know his name, and he introduces himself as “Juppo the Trickster.” Cleo asks him if he made “this contraption.” I have no idea what she is talking about. The robots? The gear room? What? Juppo replies that he is, indeed, responsible for “it.” He asks them if they like it, which offends Gremio a bit. Perhaps he is worried that Young Master will use this “contraption” for his own pleasure and won’t need Gremio after all. Viktor demands, “Hey you, turn that infernal contraction off, right now.” Wait, who’s having contractions?
I’m confused.
Juppo replies, “Hmmm, that may be difficult. The dolls I can shut off, but the big one, impossible.” This brings the conversation into a whole new realm of nonsense. He insists that they enjoy it, and then he runs off. PUGGY!!!, determined to enjoy it, whatever it is, heads into the next doorway. Finally, we get to see what the “infernal contraction” is, once and for all, even though everyone seemed to have psychically known about it already. Whoops, game designers. A huge Wheel of Fortune sits in the center of the room, surrounded by various slots, such as a treasure box, an evil face, and EXP +10. I’m guessing that all but the evil face involve something good. What an effective deterrent. At the top is the exit. PUGGY!!! has to stand on the wheel, and it spins until it randomly stops on one of the slots. PUGGY!!! gets whatever it stops at. To top it off, there is scary upbeat banjo music playing in the background. Now, this wheel introduces whole new levels of hallucinogenic what-the-fuckness into this game. After only two tries, PUGGY!!! reaches the exit. That was tough. Great obstacle there, Juppo.
…the hell?
The next hallway leads to the room where Lepant’s massive sword is displayed. Gremio gets all nervous and Viktor tells him, “Don’t be such a chicken, Gremio.” Gremio is all, “We can’t have the McDohl scion getting captured as a common thief.” Oh, Gremio, get your undies out of your asscrack. PUGGY!!! takes the sword and the group heads back through the mansion maze. I know I love it when I complete a “dungeon” and have to go all the way back out again.
Once they climb back down the rope to Krin, he bitches at them for being late. Shut up, Krin. The group heads back to the inn, where Krin admits that he once broke into Lepant’s mansion, but a doll scared him off. Gremio snits, “You knew, yet you still made me go?” Yes, Gremio, because it’s all about you. Krin is completely unapologetic, of course. He walks out of the room and offers them some tea. The Suikoden Porn Music starts up, leading me to think that the tea might have rohypnol in it. Everyone is immediately suspicious, having had bad experiences with tea previously. Viktor insists that Krin drink the tea first. Krin tries to brush him off. Viktor finally asks if Krin thinks they’re stupid enough to fall for that trick. “You did, once before,” Cleo reminds him. I like Cleo.
After the Fade Out of Passing Time, the group stands around Krin’s bed, where the wanker is apparently asleep. I don’t even want to know what happened in the missing time. Suddenly the Great Job, Fuckwads — You Really Screwed Things Up Now music starts up, as a man in a gay green cloak (like Gremio’s, only darker green) runs into the inn. It’s Lepant, and he demands satisfaction. No, not like that. Cleo comments that he found them quickly. Dude, there are about three or four buildings in the whole damn town. “Heh heh. I told him where you were. So you’d get captured in your sleep,” Krin creeps. Wow, what a winner.