“…And now I have a brother, too,” she adds, blushing. She is just precious. Gary’s all, “Wait, who the fuck is this phantom brother!?” before the penny finally drops. Along with a familial bond, this exchange also establishes Nanako as the Justice Social Link. About time, too–it was getting kind of ridiculous when Gary was forming spiritual bonds with random people on the street and not his own family members. Now all that remains is to catch Hot Uncle for long enough to form the Absent Guardian Social Link. The rest of the day is refreshingly carefree and void of drama, so Gary enjoys it while it lasts. Once Nanako’s downed enough soda to have E-numbers coming out of her ears, Gary takes her back home and squeezes in half an hour of study time before bed. All this dedication had better pay off come exam time, or he’s going to drop out of school and become a professional fetch-quester. It’s not like he has a lack of experience in the field.
Someone’s keen.
The following day is yet another public holiday, so Gary’s a free agent once again. His hopes of enjoying a well-earned duvet day are dashed when his accursed phone starts ringing, as it’s wont to do whenever he has a day off. Man, he really needs to start implementing my trick of switching the damn thing off and then pretending the battery died. Incidentally, I hope none of my friends are reading this. This time it’s Yosuke on the other end of the line, and he asks Gary if he wants to hang out. I’m not quite sure whether he means “hang out” or “hang out“, and his next line doesn’t exactly clear things up, either. “I’ll see if I can find someone else to come along with us,” he winks (yeah, I don’t know how one would wink down the phone, but trust me on this, he does). Gary isn’t sure he’s entirely comfortable with this proposal, but goes along with it just for the chance to speak to Yosuke without Chie and Yukiko eavesdropping on their conversation.
Cut to the only apparent hangout destination in town. This time, though, they’ve decided to forego the food court in favour of the electronics department–the excitement never ends when you hang with these guys. In a not entirely welcome twist, the other people Yosuke spoke of bringing along turn out to be Daisuke and Kou. Poor Gary’s feeling jumpier than a virgin at a prison rodeo–if either Kou or Daisuke let something slip, then he and Yosuke are finished for certain. His nerves can’t take this. For some ungodly reason, Nanako’s tagging along, too, but Gary’s glad of her presence; for one thing, having a six year-old in the group makes it far less likely that any of the guys will start talking about interpersonal relationships and other touchy subjects. Maybe she’s the one thing that’s going to save his skin during this incredibly awkward rendezvous. Still, just because she now considers him her big brother, she’d better not think she gets to hang around with him 24/7 now.
As if to explain to the player what the fuck Nanako’s doing here, Yosuke tells Kou she jumped at the chance to visit Walmart again when asked. “Who could blame her? It’s like a storehouse of magic,” Kou mind-bogglingly replies. I can’t quite fathom whether he’s being fabulously sarcastic, or is just incredibly easily pleased. Let’s just assume it’s the former. He goes on that he has a younger sister who’s around Nanako’s age, only not as cute as she is. Nanako indignantly declares she’s not cute, blushes almost as badly as Ayane, and then hides behind Gary’s leg. Yeah, that’s cute. Sorry, Nanako-chan. In an effort to spare her feelings, Daisuke agrees that she isn’t cute, but it totally comes across like he’s insulting her, which causes Kou and Yosuke to get on his case. Leaping to his defence, Gary insists, “That’s the Daisuke I know.” Now it’s Daisuke’s turn to blush, apparently because he’s so touched by Gary sticking up for him. “Heheh, don’t flatter me like that,” he says coyly, causing Yosuke to defensively deny that Gary’s doing such a thing. I don’t even know. This entire scene is kind of strange. In the interests of my sanity, I’m going to go with the interpretation that Yosuke thinks Daisuke’s trying to flirt with his on-off boyfriend. If he only knew the half of it…
Actually, it’s funny you should say that…
Putting an end to this uncomfortable dialogue, Nanako gasps in amazement at the enormous TV on the back wall. In a weird stroke of coincidence, this TV is right next to the one the group frequently uses to enter the TV world. Oh, come on–you all know it’s the same fucking TV set. Daisuke admires its impressive size, remarking that watching sports on that screen would almost feel like being sucked inside it. Good one, game designers. Yosuke scoffs at the thought of such an event being possible, all the while exchanging “Oh shit” glances with Gary. Relax, Yosuke–even if Kou and Daisuke had the same power as Gary, there’s only one thing they’re interesting in entering, and it ain’t a TV screen. “It promises to be an entertaining day,” the Invisible Narrator bullshits out of the blue. “Entertaining” is certainly one word for it.
On the contrary, Gary wants some of that phallic wall art.
After all that build-up, we don’t even get to witness the rest of the day’s events. This may or may not be a good thing. Next day, Gary vows to have some me-time, and conveniently leaves his phone at home. His first stop is Walmart’s grocery department, where he admires the various suggestive vegetables on offer and tries to think of some recipe ideas for the imminent cooking competition. Yeah, good luck with that. Afterwards, he wanders down to the shopping district, where his curiosity gets the better of him. Noticing a dilapidated shrine off to the right, he goes to investigate. There’s a strange atmosphere in the area, so he soon rethinks his original plan, but before he can leave he realizes he’s not alone. The camera pans up to the roof of the shrine, where a fox sits and observes Gary intently. This particular fox isn’t just an ordinary canid, however–it’s wearing a frilly red bib with a pink heart pattern. Fabulous! As Gary basks in its flamboyant aura, the fox takes a giant leap off the roof and lands behind him, holding an ema in its mouth. Since its mouth was empty before it jumped off the roof, the only explanation for this is that it magically summoned the ema in mid-air. That’s quite a talent for a stray fox to possess, not to mention its vibrant fashion sense. Gary’s would seriously consider adopting it as a pet, were it not for the numerous icky diseases it’s no doubt riddled with.
Allow me to take a moment to clear something up. As far as I can remember, we’re never told the fox’s gender, which is understandable. It’s a fucking fox, and on that basis I’d hope nobody would want to pair it with another character–which is probably futile because, as we’re all too aware, no ship is off-limits in the terrifying Fanfic Land. What I’m trying to get at here is that there’s no real reason to assign a gender to the fox, but in the spirit of VGR, I’m going to refer to it as a male. Come on, the introduction of a very gay and very stylish fox can only be a positive addition to a recap.
Fabulous Mr Fox nudges the plaque towards Gary, as if urging him to read it. He does, and notices a message from a little boy named Keita, who’s praying for his grandfather’s mangled legs to get better. Well, that’s a sweet message, and his heart goes out to the boy and his grandpa, but Gary has shit to do. Just before he throws the ema into the bushes, he sees an “unusual leaf” taped to the back of it. I wonder if it’s similar to the leaves the game designers clearly smoked before coming up with this sequence. As Gary tries to work out what the fuck is going on here, the sound of approaching footsteps sends the fox scurrying off screen. The footsteps belong to an elderly man, who’s very noticeably hobbling as he slowly shuffles into shot. Regarding Gary with surprise, he remarks that it’s rare for this abandoned shrine to get visitors these days. He continues that he occasionally stops by to tidy up the area, but his legs have been aching so badly lately that he hasn’t visited in a while. Hey, what a coincidence–that little kid’s grandpa is having trouble with his legs, too. It must be the damp air here in Inaba playing havoc with the limbs of all these poor old folks.
Yeah, for medicinal purposes. That’s what she told you…
Obviously, the two old timers with achy legs are one and the same. For those of us who are too dumb or unfamiliar with RPGs to reach this conclusion ourselves, gramps here makes sure to spell it out by dropping his grandson’s name into the conversation. “You wonder if it could be the same Keita who wrote the ema…” the IN insults Gary’s intelligence once again. No, this guy’s talking about Keita Enzensberger who lives in Berlin. Jesus Christ. As luck would have it, the old dude recognizes the unusual leaf as an old remedy his own grandmother used to swear by. Gary hits him up, and over a Black Screen of Drug Censorship, the IN relates that he sticks the leaf onto his leg. I think we all know what he really does with it. Fortunately, he wafts the pot smoke away just before we fade back in. Within a few short moments, grandfather pothead here is literally dancing with joy, the pain in his legs having completely evaporated. With his grandson’s prayer having been answered–thanks in no small part to Gary, natch–he dashes up to the shrine’s offertory box and makes a donation before sprinting away like an Olympic runner. I hope he makes it home before he gets the munchies.
With the wish on the plaque having been fulfilled, the fox comes out from his hiding place and gives Gary a look of gratitude. By now, it’s clear to everyone with more than a single brain cell that the creature is something more supernatural than a regular old fox and seems fully aware of what’s going on, but the IN helpfully points it out to us anyway. What would we do without him? We discover that the fox somehow knows that the shrine has received an offering, and that he “recruited” Gary to help grant the wish on the ema for this express purpose. More importantly, the fox’s tail looks incredibly phallic from the wrong angle.
Penis!
On further examination, Gary notices a whole bunch of “medicinal leaves” in the fox’s mouth. He can definitely see himself returning here when the pressures of his life get too much and he needs to relax for a while…just because the shrine’s surroundings are so peaceful, you understand. The IN suggests that the fox’s endless supply of dope might come in handy during the party’s frequent trips to “the other side”, and the fox himself nods in acknowledgement, magically understanding what’s being asked of him. Personally, I don’t think attempting to fight Shadows while under the influence is the best idea Gary’s ever been presented with, but who I am to interfere? The only catch is that the fox will require a “donation” each time the group is in need of his services. It’s implied that these payments will be going towards the upkeep of the shrine, but if the fox is as crafty as I’m giving him credit for, there should be a first-class ticket to Monaco with his name on it.
In case limitless “healing herbs” weren’t enough of an incentive for Gary to come back here from time to time, the fox is also revealed to be the Hermit Social Link. This isn’t really the biggest shocker of the recap–how could Gary not feel a connection with such an intelligent and fashion-conscious animal? Leaving his new friend/pet/fashionista/drug dealer to do whatever it is foxes do when they’re not doling out dope and being fabulous, he arrives home just in time for another strained family dinner. Great job on the timing, Gary.
Hot Uncle arrives home, armed with a Walmart bag and loudly bitching about the sick rookie whose work he’s supposedly covering this week. OK, dude, Nanako bought your bullshit story the first time–don’t over-egg the pudding. His guilty conscience working overtime, he stopped off at Walmart on the way home to buy Nanako a present. Last of the big spenders right here. Of course, Nanako loves the t-shirt he presents her with–she’d probably also love a fresh, steaming dog turd if it were handed to her in a Walmart bag, but I digress–and wants to wear it right away. Frankly, I’m amazed he even knew which size to get. But his generosity doesn’t end there. He also bought Gary a present, as thanks for him and his boy/friends babysitting Nanako during Golden Week. What could it be, Gary wonders? A ticket to Inaba Pride 2013?
‘Just what I’ve always wanted!’
Gary gingerly pulls…something out of the bag and scrutinizes it with an odd mix of confusion, revulsion and feigned gratitude. The Invisible Narrator steps in to help, and this is one time where I’m actually glad of his input: “…It’s a swimsuit with an odd design on it.” What in the hell? When Gary looks closely, it’s actually a pair of swimming trunks, which is at least less disturbing than the bikini-esque garment my mind’s eye conjured up, but still.
The creepy shit is just getting started. After dinner, Gary thanks his uncle for his completely appropriate and not-at-all weird gift. Hot Uncle’s response sheds a new and disquieting light on his affection towards Gary: advising him to take a swim in the Samegawa River sometime, he urges, “Make sure you wear that, okay?” He might as well have added, “I’ll be waiting in the bushes with my camera.” My admittedly sick mind is now dredging up all kinds of horrific scenarios, including Hot Uncle having Adachi dress up as Gary during their late-night overtime sessions at the police station. I don’t really want to dwell on this issue any longer than is absolutely necessary, so let’s move on quickly.
They’re making this too easy for me.
Gary’s finally back at school the next morning, giving Hot Uncle ample opportunity to install surveillance equipment in his room and drill a few peepholes in the walls. As he walks less than enthusiastically to school, Yosuke comes up behind on his bright yellow bike, ringing its very gay bell. “Dammit, I just fixed this thing…it’s making squeaking sounds again,” he sighs by way of a greeting. Although he’s talking about the bike, it would be so easy to take that line deliciously out of context…which I would never lower myself to do, obviously. One of Gary’s possible replies is the fantastically bitchy, “Maybe it’s karma,” but he restrains himself and goes for something less contentious. No sense in pissing Yosuke off when they seem to be slowly getting back on track. Yosuke apologizes for his insensitive remark to Nanako the other day–seriously, that’s right at the bottom of the list of “Things Yosuke Should Apologize For”, but whatever–and says he’s now more determined than ever to solve the murder case. I make Gary say, “I’m counting on you,” because it’s the only vaguely-romantic of the three options available and I’m a total sap. Don’t judge me. Yosuke gets all bashful and says the feeling’s mutual, before quickly changing the subject to the other gay pairing of the investigation team. “Y’know, Chie and Yukiko seem different lately…they’re a lot closer,” he observes. No kidding. He starts to ask Gary something about the girls, but then realizes they’re late for class. Gary isn’t up for a double-date, if that’s what he meant to ask.