As Alex braved his way up the steps, Gamsthena very much still had the red eyes of a brainwashed cult lieutenant, so you would be forgiven for thinking Alex would still have some work to do in talking Gams down from power madness. But by the time the anime begins, the woman staring down at Alex is blue-eyed and grim and clearly Gams, despite the outfit. She is also flashing, like her body is phasing in and out of existence. She sounds, well, breathy and high-pitched, but also extremely sad as she says to her man, “I knew you would never abandon me to evil, Alex.” Alex takes no notice of these troubling signs, because he’s an idiot. “Yes. Now we can finally go back to Burg together,” he tells the lady who’s behind a fucked-up magic barrier and is blinking like the light on a router. She seems to sigh as she has to tell him that’s not going to happen. “Though Ghaleon has perished, the Fortress of Althena continues to bleed life from the world of Lunar,” Gams says, as a quick cut to the bottom of the fortress doing exactly this lets us know Gams isn’t just lying because she doesn’t feel like going back to fucking Burg and marrying her brother and living out her life as some normie soccer mom. “If it does not cease, all Lunar will become as lifeless as the Frontier. But if I leave the Fortress, the stored magic will be released too rapidly, and it may end up destroying the entire world of Lunar.” By the way, this is a real last-minute rebuke of me saying Lunar like the word and not LunAAAAR, with Gams saying it about a hundred times in this little explanation. Tears in her eyes, she finishes, “I’m a…prisoner, Alex.”

Now, hang on.

The scenario Gams has presented here is kind of a trolley problem: do nothing and kill everybody slow, or act and kill everybody right away. So she’s not a prisoner, because both scenarios are bad. Making the entire surface of the planet unlivable at the current rate is going to render it a fucking rock anyway. The only actual worse thing about “destroying” the planet would be, I don’t know, fucking up the tides on the Blue Star. (Maybe there are people down there who wouldn’t like that! …Nah.) I am only bringing this up because everybody, Gams included, is about to ignore the crucial part of the equation that Gams staying in the magic vacuum cleaner is also completely untenable.

“No!” Alex shouts, almost cutting her off. The tears are streaming down Gams’s face now, as she insists, “I must stay here. For Lunar!” Ever the fucking martyr, huh lady? I kid. Mostly. We’ll circle back to it. Anyway, since Alex’s sole personality trait is determination, he is obviously not going to accept this. “I won’t give you up!” he yells in poor Gams’s face. “You mustn’t give up either, regardless of how hopeless things may seem. There has to be a way!” Gams is staring in shock at Alex now, as this has to be the most words he’s ever said in a row in her presence. And he’s still going! Look at our boy! “We must believe in the power that resides within each of us, [Gams],” he says. I don’t think Gams’s problem is not believing in her own powers enough, it’s knowing how bad they are? But go on. “I believe each of us is entrusted with a future to realize. And THIS is not our future!” I’m being a real jackass to this hopeful, sweet hero, but you don’t get to talk about being “entrusted with a future,” which is some real determinist shit, and then go, “But it’s not going to go like this.” What if it does, genius? What then? Also, who entrusted them with these futures? Was it…ALTHENA?

Alex and Gams have not broken eye contact for this entire scene, him staring up at her in her beam, and the animators go ahead and make the parallels explicit by cutting in shots of Dyne and pre-rebirth Althena also making shiny googly eyes at each other. As if Alex is remembering this too–although he never saw it, only heard about it from Dyne–he smiles hopefully. “[Gams], if we work together, I’m certain we’ll find a way, just like Dyne did, remember?” Does she remember that? Ghaleon said she didn’t, and it’s also a thing she had no memory of as a human, either. It doesn’t matter! What matters is Alex pulling the only play in his book, which is to Do like Dragonmaster Dyne Did, and step into Althena’s party pit. Gams, seeing his little boots moving toward her, once again screams at him to stop, but Alex has made up his mind that them “working together” means him doing something another man told him he did once in a situation that may look kind of like this but was actually pretty different, and just hoping that will magically fix this whole problem. “ALEX! NO!” Gams screams one last time after it’s too late and Alex is already inside with her. When they do survive this and live happily ever after, I still think Gams is going to bring up this moment literally every time they have an argument.

How have I never noticed that brown patch on Alex’s butt?

Just as it went down with Dyne, the magic power around the goddess strips away Alex’s Dragonmaster regalia, or perhaps he’s voluntarily giving it up to aid in whatever he thinks he’s doing in here. It’s no clearer now than it was in the flashback. He is grunting a lot in a very sexual way, which is a thing the silent flashback was blessedly free of. But then he’s fine, just not magical anymore, and he’s holding out his hand to a stunned Gams. “We will always be together,” he tells her. “In the past, the present, and the future as well. It’s destiny.” Thinking a lot about how Ghaleon noted what he did to Gams was always going to happen to her anyway. Like, he was probably right! She was a human but she still had magical healing songs and stuff. Clearly she wasn’t all the way not a goddess. I don’t know why. Obviously no ties to that in this scene about destiny and fate. Gams takes Alex’s hand, and then just full-bore throws herself at him, the contact with his dirty sweaty post-boss-fight man skin slowly ceasing her flashing. She says his name a bunch into his shoulder. The music would have us believe this is all good and the ideal way for this to go. And then, around them, the twinkling blue barrier turns an opaque white, eventually whiting out the entire screen. Oh no! What if Alex’s HEART THAT BELIEVES forgot some key planning detail?!

Out of the anime, we’re back to Nash, Mia, Jessica, Kyle, and Squeak, who have no idea what’s happening up there, but the magic from the Holy Shopvac “flooding outward” and the Fortress of Althena shaking like Gamsthena’s red eyes were load-bearing leads them to believe it’s nothing good. Mia and Jess fall down as the platform rumbles so their men can come to their aid–sigh–but the magic we just saw light up the entire sky around Alex and Gams is not visible for now. If the power being released were really as destructive as Gams just told Alex it is, these five would be ash right now, but let’s not let facts get in the way of everyone having a discussion about whether or not to get the hell out of here. Mia says they should bail and Squeak readily agrees, with Jessica and, surprisingly, Nash taking the side of not going anywhere until they’re all safe and accounted for. Nobody suggests hoofing it up to where Alex and Gams are to actually see what’s become of them, let alone sending the small creature with fucking wings to scout for them. What Squeak does offer is this: “They’re alive, and they’ll make it out of here just fine!” I would be perfectly willing to trust that Squeak has some weird mind-meld with Alex–or even that he just read ahead in the script–but when Jess very much is not and says she’s staying put until she has proof (JUST GO UP THERE AND LOOK), Kyle sticks up for Squeak’s pet’s intuition and Squeak pleads with her, “I can feel it in my heart that Alex and [Gams] are alright! Please believe me!” I fully expect Jess to keep objecting and for Kyle to blackjack her into unconscious consensus, but instead, Squeak says “Here we go!!” and spirits them out of there whether they like it or not. Well, he turns into Big Boy Squeak so maybe they still all have to willingly climb aboard, but maybe he just did that to look cool (in his imagination) and then used the White Dragon Wings, which is what I would have done.

Over a white screen and Squeak’s Twinkles of Dragon Growth Spurting, Squeak says, “Alex, I believe in you. I believe you can save [Gams] without destroying this world. You mustn’t fail. I’d be lost without you…” A lot going on here! For one thing, there is no real evidence for Squeak having the aforementioned Alex mind-meld, so how does he know about the save the girl/save the world conundrum, such as it is? Second, what does saving Gams have to do with Squeak being lost without Alex? There are three scenarios here: 1) Alex abandons Gams to imprisonment in the Goddess Tower and comes home alive, but the world slowly dies and they all die with it; 2) Alex attempts to save Gams but fails to deal with the fallout and Chernobyl happens so everyone dies; and 3) Alex has his sister and marries her too, and everyone is happy except for Kyle and Jess, obviously. None of those involve Alex not coming back but Squeak living to be sad about it. This fucking cat.

Another anime picks up with these four and Squeak (sitting on Mia’s shoulder) standing on a desolate, cratered cliff overlooking the sea as the Fortress of Althena crashes into it. Point of order: water is life, friends, and that magic-sucking effect that reverted the moon’s surface into, well, the moon’s surface definitely would have claimed all the water, especially the water at ground zero here. Carry on. The Fortress explodes in a massive fireball that would also probably turn these five into ash, even at this distance. Jess tears up, realizing that Squeak fucking lied to her and Alex and Gams were not at all fine up there. The fireball blazes for about five seconds as the teens watch in horrified silence, and only once it’s dissolved into, for some reason, a horizon line of sparkles do Jess, and then Squeak, start openly bawling, as do I, BUT ONLY BECAUSE seeing other people cry makes me cry. IT’S CHEMICAL.

Is that bad

Kyle sighs, “Alex…dumb kid. Why’d you take the risk?” when he noted not 10 minutes ago that he would have done the same for his best gal, the one sobbing into his shoulder right now. So I don’t dwell on Kyle’s predictable backslide into being a shitshow of a man, Mia murmurs, “Alex and [Gams] sacrificed their lives to save this world from destruction.” The world still looks kind of fucked up and dying, but sure! Squeak, sobbing into her shoulder, squeaks in between gasps of air, “Oh Alex! And [Gams]! They’re gone forever!” Yes, if you haven’t already done so, this is the exact moment you should clock that they’re not. To the game’s credit, this scene plays out for a solid fifteen more seconds, with the only sound being the mourning music and Jess and Squeak’s crying. Like, if this were any other game I’d maybe believe they really beefed it!

But what’s this? A brilliant white light glows on the horizon, with Kyle, maybe as the tallest, the first to notice. From that point of light, not only does the vegetation and atmosphere (and yes, the rivers and lakes that the Fortress did suck up) come back to Lunar, but so does a happier theme song. “Look at the ground! It’s alive again!” says Kyle. God bless this sex idiot. This does make Mia’s theory look less stupid, though I can’t imagine what about Alex’s Dragonmaster magic made this happen in a way that didn’t, as Gams warned, overcook the planet into Venus. As the dark purple clouds give way to a clear sky with a view of the Blue Star, Alex and Gams suddenly appear before their friends, glowing inside a white sunburst. Alex is, of course, in his civilian clothes, and in his arms he’s carrying Gams, who is not in her civilian clothes but draped in a white bedsheet. I don’t know why Alex gets his goddamn normal outfit back but the implication is Gams was naked without her powers, or possibly three-quarters dressed for a Klan rally.

Everybody gasps, with Nash letting out one “Whoa…” at Gams thinking this is the right time for to wave that particular terrible red flag, and Squeak shrieking with delight on everyone else’s behalf. “Alex! [Gams]! You’re all right!” The way they appear here, looking for all the world like Christ before the Ascension, and ESPECIALLY given Gams’s outfit, I would not at all be ruling out that Alex and Gams are dead and these are their ghosts. They’re not, but I’m surprised nobody jumps to that conclusion. The halo goes away when their feet touch the ground, Alex still with his arm around Gams’s shoulders. Which, by the way, I know goes with their whole virginal promise ring vibe, but the last two scenes have had, to my recollection, the only actual physical touching these two have ever done. At the pace they’re on they’re going to have six kids by tomorrow morning.

If I have to see this, so do all of you.

The camera pans over the ecstatic faces of their friends–somehow, even now, Kyle looks horny, and I still don’t buy it, dude–and then back to Alex, who says, “We did it. It’s over.” If Ghaleon shows up NOW I will honestly be too impressed by his stubbornness to be angry. For some reason the POV here is between Alex and Gams’s shoulders and pointed directly at Jessica, who is still teared up (yes, I am sobbing my guts out now, fuck you). “We were so worried about you,” Jess tells them. Then she looks to Gams. “Oh, [Gams],” she says. The “You did try to kill me and Mia and Fresca a while ago and I’m still mad about it and I kind of wish you were dead so I could pounce on the only good man on the continent but I’ll go to my grave never admitting it” is left unsaid. Probably for the best! “Oh, Jessica,” Gams replies, also crying now (god dammit, I am a wreck), “I’m just…so happy to see you all!” And the three girls all embrace like sisters. I don’t know what happens to Squeak in this scrum, but he might be crushed into Gams’s face, aka absolutely how he would want to die. Also, I don’t want to be a dick about women being friends, good for them, honestly, but Gams barely knows Jessica, and knows Mia even less. She didn’t even get to do a dungeon with Mia! They’ve met like once! While the girls hug and giggle, Kyle goes, “Well done, Alex. Well done.” What did he do? What could he have done that THE ACTUAL GODDESS WHO ACTUALLY CREATED THEIR WORLD could not have done? Who knows? The moon not being destroyed is a wish their hearts made! HEARTS THAT BELIEVE! Why can’t I stop crying!

If I think this ending doesn’t make sense, I’m not going to survive the Xenosaga series without brain damage. So I’d better just let this one lie. Moving on!

We pick up with the teens in Meribia, hanging out near the Gams statue. Does she feel weird about those? I would feel real fucking weird about those. Gams is thrilled to be back here and smell the ocean and all that other rad human experience shit I would say she took for granted, but she’s such a goddamn saint that she probably appreciated being alive every single day! Insufferable. “It’s wonderful just to see you smiling again,” says Alex, the fucking dope. I don’t think Gams’s problem up to now has been not smiling enough. He then asks if she’s tired because of the journey they took from…wherever the hell Squeak teleported everyone to. I’m guessing it wasn’t that far. Anyway, welcome to the rest of your life, Gams, he’s basically going to put you on bedrest in a locked, windowless room. Squeak answers for Gams, “Tired, no–hungry, YES! Get me and my hollow tummy to the nearest fishmarket!!” The entire group has a joyful laugh at Squeak being a flying black hole and I die a little inside. Squeak asks what’s so goddamn funny about his hunger, and Jess has to say the damn thing: “We’re not laughing at your endless appetite, furball…we’re laughing ’cause it feels good!” Nash adds, “Exactly. It’s been so long since I’ve felt this…joyful. Yes, that’s the word. Joyful!” I genuinely forgot he said this when I used the same fucking word up there, and I’m leaving it in to shame myself.

Jesus, Gams, you couldn’t level up ONCE?

The less important hetero couples have some business to attend to–Jess literally drags a very unwilling Kyle to the mansion to check on her dad, and Mia and Nash head for Black Rose Street to see if Lemia has any more stories about Ghaleon actually being really nice as long as you don’t let him mix philosophy and merlot. They all take off, asking our hero and heroine (and Squeak, if he must be included) to come see them before leaving town. With them gone, Squeak suggests visiting fucking Ram-It and his fucking store, which Gams thinks is a “wonderful idea.” Is it? Is it really? But they’re right next to it, so I guess it’s not that much time out of my day.