Since I know everybody has been suffering from Shion Uzuki withdrawal, here are the next two Xenosaga II recaps! I’m pretty sure that I have subconsciously convinced myself that doing two recaps at a time will make this less painful.
Enjoy! And an early Happy Thanksgiving!
Yeah… It might seem like a no duh thing now, but back when I last played that part some… I don’t even know how long ago. I didn’t think about how NOBODY can get along with their family. I guess I was just too busy being like, “Ugh.. shut up Shion…” Also there is NO damn excuse for the music for Second Miltia. I’m not joking on this but I did mute the tv every time I was there.
Anyway, as far as the recap, I was totally elated to see more of it, and as much as the story is… just weird. I’m glad it seems to revolve around other people besides Shion for once.
Second Miltia’s music is why the mute button was invented.
First of all, I feel like I should be playing this game now so I can truly empathize and understand Sam’s experience. However, it is still hella funny.
“Fuck, that scene was the worst. Shion being dumb, Shion being a bitch, some jerkoff sucking up to Shion anyway like she isn’t a dumb bitch, and it was a jargon-filled business meeting where nothing happened. I mean! Oscars, guys. All the Oscars.”
I feel like this could effectively describe the feelings we all have in every scene with Shion in it.
“She sounds for half a second like she’s making fun of Kevin being a fucking dork, but I’m sure I imagined it and Kevin’s words got her wetter than the first four rows at Sea World.”
This line was hilarious but also really gross.
“ailbait and CHAOS!!! spot Shion, Jailbait making a clearly put-off grunt, and CHAOS!!! going “Shion!” like he can’t fucking believe this bitch found a way to horn in on their rare night out together. Shion, for her part, doesn’t seem pleased to see them either. She jumps in her chair, recoils from the sight of them, then narrows her eyes and asks, “What are you two doing here?” I actually get their mutual desire to get the fuck away from each other for a bit after what they’ve been through, and in fact I feel like we’ve been jilted out of the reality show camera footage from the gang’s downtime on the Elsa, when they stopped being polite and started getting real. Jailbait and CHAOS!!! basically tell her, “We were hungry and this is a fucking restaurant,” but before Shion can get all up in their grill for daring to want food on her turf, Boss attempts to break up the tension and chuckles at them all knowing each other. Shion goes, “Y…yeah, kinda,” to which CHAOS!!! understandably takes umbrage. Shion is totally the mean girl who blows off her summer friends when she runs into them with her real friends from school. She apologizes and says she was “rattled,” and CHAOS!!! is still like “Girl, what,” but Boss glosses over it as her having “family matters” on her mind. Just talking about Jin makes Shion turn into a frigid weirdo! Super normal. Shion giggles inanely at this, and Jailbait and CHAOS!!! lock onto each other with their fiercest side-eyes.
This paragraph was pure amazing. 🙂
“So maybe Jin’s house has as many romantic callers as Shion’s cabin on the Hoglinde.”
The family that blows together, stays together.
“We get a close-up on Jin’s candle as the moths move closer and closer to the tempting flame, until one makes contact and drops away with a “Tssss” noise. So, is CHAOS!!! the one being driven to Jin like a moth to a flame? Or is the flame Schrödinger’s Wang, and Jin is the moth? These are the only readings I will accept.”
I just really loved this part.
In the end, though, Sam outdid herself with the captions. Amazing, amazing job!
Aww, thanks. 🙂
I feel nothing but sympathy for you by the time you get to Xenosaga III. I will actively skip each and every cutscene Shion’s in just because of how big a bitch she is. I should send you the hardest booze I can find in preparation….”