Ryudo and Skye sit around a campfire outside as they wait for the Sisters to finish the ceremony. Ryudo bitches about how long it’s taking, not that Ryudo ever bitches about anything. “Man, what’re they doing in there?! This is why I hate church – everything takes foreeeever.” I can’t argue with his logic there. Skye teases Ryudo about Mary Sue, and Ryudo denies it. He says he has a bad feeling. So do I, but that’s because I’ve played this game before. And yes, I am talking about the ending again.
Ryudo goes to examine the murals on the tower. They’re all demonic and stuff, mainly involving wings. Ryudo thinks that it’s odd for a holy ceremony to be held in such a place. Gee, ya think? Skye just brushes him off and says that the place is really old. How that explains decorations of the devil and demon wings, I’m not sure.
Suddenly there’s a scream, a flash of light, and some urgent electric guitar battle-esque music. It’s time for Ryudo to save the day! Skye warns him against going inside the tower, but hello. Ryudo’s concerned about his reputation and paycheck, not the chick. Yeah, right. Maybe now that’s true, but…oh, never mind.
Of course the tower is infested with giant spiders and other monsters. That’s just great. It’s also full of rubble and other shit that makes it a veritable maze. Nothing can ever be easy. Meanwhile, everyone’s dead. I mean, it’s been like five or ten minutes since the scream. On the top floor, Ryudo has to fight a couple of gargoyles that are hovering in front of one of the Sisters. She is lying on the floor. Oh no! It’s Tessa and she’s dying. With her last words, she tells Ryudo that the ceremony failed and he has to save Mary Sue. Well, duh. I could’ve told you that he’d have to save Mary Sue.
Ryudo can’t open the double doors, so he has to find another way in. Gee, let’s see…there are stained glass windows, or….nope, just stained glass windows. But how on earth can I get into the chamber? Oh, thanks, game designers, for putting the little exclamation point indicator under the stained glass window because I would never have tried it otherwise. Whew. So Ryudo breaks through one of the stained glass windows. It’s nice that while the rest of the tower is a wreck, the stained glass is still intact. Er, was intact.
The 80’s guitar is really getting a workout in the main chamber. Something in the center of the chamber looks broken and is surrounded by a black cloud, and Mary Sue is to the side, suspended in another black cloud. I hope it’s not raping her, but this is a Japanese game after all. Ryudo is horrified. As he watches, wings appear on Mary Sue and he sees some random black and white flashbacks that make no sense. “That Darkness?…I know that Darkness,” he says. And the plot thickens! Ryudo runs forward and grabs Mary Sue from the dark cloud, and the broken ball in the center of the chamber starts rumbling and generally looking evil. There’s even lightning and stuff. Ryudo and Skye run for it, and thankfully, I don’t have to retrace my steps through the entire damn tower. Ryudo slides across a conveniently placed cable just outside the window. Was it always there? Did Ryudo put it there? They never explain it to us. Thanks, game designers.
Ryudo wakes Mary Sue up in the forest. She’s startled, but all right. Well, thank God. Or should I say Granas? The two of them (well, and Skye probably) look over at the tower, which is now just a huge vortex of Darkness and lightning. Well, shit. Mary Sue doesn’t know what happened to everyone else. “You were the only survivor,” Ryudo tells her. “Sorry.” At least he’s tactful about it, for once. Mary Sue wants to go back and use her magical Mary Sue powers to save everyone from their terrible fates. “Hey! HEY! Princess! The power of Darkness isn’t coming this way to tell us about the neighborhood bake sale. We need to leave!” Ryudo says helpfully. There’s some more pointless shit where Mary Sue thinks that she’s not worthy to live, and other typical melodramatic Mary Sue garbage, and finally Ryudo convinces her to get moving. Thank you, Ryudo. Cripes, that was irritating.
Back in Carbo, Mary Sue forgets all about the fact that Ryudo saved her sorry ass and starts in on him about his lifestyle. “Ryudo, how can you kill so indiscriminately?” she wonders. Then she apologizes, realizing that he is doing it all for her or something lame like that. Yeah, that guy kills giant spiders, birds, and gargoyles that attack him without provocation and somehow he’s a bastard. Whatever, Mary Sue, whatever.
The town is as quiet and peaceful as if all their Sisters had not just been slaughtered by Darkness as Ryudo takes Mary Sue back to the church. He thinks his job is over. Unfortunately for all of us, it’s only the beginning. Mary Sue annoyingly fills Father Carius in on some of the shit that went down during the ceremony, but he makes her go inside the church. He also invites Ryudo in. I’m confused — I thought he said earlier that the church is not the place for that. And especially with Mary Sue there. Yuck.
What on earth is that a euphemism for?
Ryudo tells Carius about Mary Sue growing the wings while suspended in the black cloud. “Anyway — we cut out of there pretty damn fast,” he finishes respectfully. Carius sends Mary Sue to her room and then gets down to business with Ryudo. Carius speaks all cryptically about what happened, but Ryudo doesn’t take it. He wants to know what’s going on, damn it. “I knew it would be dangerous,” Carius says. “Yet…even so, we had to do it. The Wings had to be sealed. The Wings of Valmar, Ryudo.” Ryudo is shocked. So am I. I didn’t even think that the dangerous yet important ceremony, the tower inscribed with demonic wings, and Mary Sue sprouting said black demon wings could possibly have anything to do with the Devil of Darkness. Carius repeats the story of Granas and Valmar that we heard earlier, and we find out that it is not a “fairy tale” as Ryudo thinks. In fact, Valmar was not destroyed but is preparing to break out of the ever-weakening seals on his prison, be reborn and rise again to cover the world in Darkness! How original!
I just hope it’s not a statue of a naked boy.
We also find out that Tessa was Carius’ daughter. Whoops. I bet he feels pretty shitty about that one. Ryudo wants to know what’s going to happen now that Mary Sue is possessed by the Wings of Valmar. “The Pieces of Valmar devour the soul of those they possess…our dear [Mary Sue]. Once she is…emptied…the Wings will move on,” Carius explains. Well, the answer seems obvious enough, and we get rid of Mary Sue at the same time! Unfortunately, Carius has other plans. He wants Ryudo to be Mary Sue’s bodyguard again on her way to Granas Cathedral. Pope Zera may have a way to seal the wings away once more. Well, shit. “…I’m sorry, were you waiting for me to give a damn?” Ryudo says at the end of Carius’ long speech. Oh, Ryudo, you rogue. Carius offers Ryudo a statue of gold in exchange for his “services,” so Ryudo says he’ll think about it. “I can’t stand God or women,” he says sweetly. What a nice guy.
Suddenly, the earth shakes and everything goes dark. Ryudo and Carius go outside to check it out. It’s a chick, and not just any chick — it’s our second Mary Sue. Whereas Elena is the demure, innocent, singing Mary Sue, Millenia (the new chick) is the hot, demonic, Mary Sue on the side of evil but with a heart of gold. She’s very intricately — though scantily — clad, and she has huge boobs and huge black wings. Huge black wings? Uh-oh. “Mmmmmm. Ahh. This feels sooo good,” Millenia moans in a Meg Ryan in “When Harry Met Sally” way. “I feel so free, so filled with power. Ahh, I feel EXCELLENT.” And there’s a little heart sign at the end. How cute. And she destroyed whatever statue was outside the church.
Ryudo is amazed that this “girl” could wield such power. Carius is just pissed off. He tries to drive Millenia away with magic, but fails because of Millenia’s greater magic. “Huh. She has a fair hand with magic,” Ryudo says, smitten. You just know he’s staring at her massive cleavage. “And other fair parts besides,” Millenia replies, catching onto what he’s really thinking. Poor Skye will be so disappointed. Millenia takes exception to Carius calling her a Dark One earlier. “Do I look like a Dark One to you?” she asks. Um, the wings kind of give it away. Sorry. Carius tells Ryudo to beware. “Evil takes forms far from foul,” he cautions.
Millenia goes haywire, attacking the entire village. Fortunately for the denizens of Carbo, it looks like Millenia’s lightning is barely glancing off the rooftops — not even starting any fires. Skye has taken an instant dislike to Millenia. What did I tell you? “Careful, Ryudo, she’s dangerous!” Millenia does more damage to the church, surprisingly upsetting Carius. Just as she threatens to destroy the entire town (what was she trying to do before?), Ryudo stops her by — gasp! — insulting her looks. Millenia acts like she’s about to cry, but since she’s not Tidus, she attacks Ryudo instead.
As a boss, Millenia is not particularly tough, especially when she attacks with her….crossbow. Yes, the powerful force of Darkness wields a fricking crossbow. But then she does a magic attack that knocks Ryudo out. “Dammit! Such intense power!!” he whines cheesily, flickering with purple lightning. “Well, well my dear,” Millenia says, landing in front of Ryudo. “You make a rather nice plaything…” “Don’t toy with me!” Ryudo grunts. “I like you. My name is Millenia. Next time we meet, I’ll make you mine,” she says, with another little heart symbol. I’d gag if it wasn’t so funny. And Millenia is about a thousand times better than our pointless Mary Sue. “I’ll be back. Toodles!” she says, flying off.
Ryudo is still smitten. “She can fight…” he sighs. Then he remembers that he’s supposed to be a misogynistic prick. “…for a girl,” he finishes. And with that, he tells Father Carius that he agrees to the bodyguard stint. I wonder why? Skye has the same idea. Back at the inn, he says in response to Ryudo’s lies about it being all about the money, “I’m not a newly-hatched ‘chick’, Ryudo. I suspect you have other reasons for your ‘broad’ change of heart…” Oh, that zany Skye!
At that moment, Carius arrives with Mary Sue. He gives Ryudo the gold statue, and then Ryudo and Mary Sue decide to leave on their journey. Their tedious, heartbreaking, annoying, nauseating journey. Granas help us all.