Pokémon: My OCD Nightmare

I really need a new game to play. I have this problem where I am either incredibly excited about a new game’s release and must play it immediately, or I don’t give a crap about it at all and will likely never play it. For whatever reason, right now, pretty much every release is falling into the latter category. This means two things: 1) I don’t play that many games and 2) what I do play are old games.

This week I’ve needed a gaming fix. Nothing new (or unfinished on the shelf) sounded any fun, so I went to an old standby, thanks to my new love of this comic, and started a new save of Pokémon Pearl. Problem solved, right? Pokémon will grant me hours and hours of mindless, but familiar, gaming fun.

Not so much. I have problems with Pokémon.

See, I’m a little bit on the obsessive-compulsive side. This mostly manifests in me straightening magazines on the coffee table and–sigh–feeling a deep need to do absolutely everything in any videogame I play. With Pokémon, this does not simply amount to beating the game and “catching ’em all.” I wish that were all. No, for me, every decision, every caught critter, results in anxiety. A sampling:

Oh, I caught a Pokémon! Do I need to nickname it? Does it have to be funny? If I nickname this one, I’ll have to give them all nicknames to be consistent! What if I hate the name later? Is it male or female? Oh God, does that matter for this one? Where’s the strategy guide? (Just kidding–I have the strategy guide open in my lap at all times while playing Pokémon. I feel naked without it.) Should I level it and use it? I need to get every fucking Pokémon to level 99! Jesus, what are these berry things? I used one on my Bidoof on accident! Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck, do I need to delete my save and start over? Jesus, a Magikarp! I FUCKING HATE MAGIKARP! I DON’T WANT TO LEVEL YOU! BUT I HAVE TO! OH JESUS FUCK SHOOT ME IN THE FACE!!!

No, I’m serious, I do this. I’m pretty sure I need counseling.

But despite all this, periodically I pull out–heh–whatever the latest version is and get all into it. I love the franchise dearly. It just turns me into a neurotic mess.

Please tell me I’m not a lone nut.

15 thoughts on “Pokémon: My OCD Nightmare

  1. Jeanne

    You’re probably not alone, but I just couldn’t get into the Pokemon games past Gold and Silver. Partly because no Pokemon is as awesome as Bulbasaur, but mostly because it took way too fucking long to level up and I got bored with it. Is it true that the battle animations take even longer now? Because holy crap.

    In spite of my bitching, I still think Pokemon Snap is one of the best games ever.

  2. kazokuhouou

    Regarding levelling: YES.

    That’s why I just limit myself to a handful of pokemon.

    And Pokemosn Snap is one of the best games ever, why isn’t there a sequel for THAT?

  3. Vincent Valentine

    I haven’t touched Pokémon since Gold and Silver either. But before that I was a rabid 10 year old that taped the anime and owned Blue, Red and Yellow. I remember that I collected all of them in Blue I even had Mew, I had to go to a nintendo promotional event to get it.
    I cried when I was told I couldn’t go but got my own way anyway.

    I also had a Jigglypuff plushie and a giant Pikachu doll.
    Wow, I was a very rabid fanboy.

    I agree with Jeanne that Bulbasaur is the best pokémon ever.

  4. MintWhelp

    I only played Pokemon Red and Blue… but I know what you mean. Getting every item possible –and 99 of each if possible– leveling up(and getting) all characters to the maximum level, maxing out their stats, defeating every opponent possible, talking to every NPC… Well, it didn’t happen to me with just Pokemon; it does happen with every game I get my hands on.

    Which is why I’m afraid of ever getting a Suikoden game. The fact that there are extra goodies if you use an older game save file, and the fact that I have none of that, would burn me inside.

  5. Rydia

    Unfortunately, I don’t think you’re alone. I never got past Crystal. The main reason for that being that I’m still trying to get 99 of every freaking PokéBall! ;_; Even my Abyss file is at level 140, and I refuse to restart the game until everyone has mastered every recipe, and quite probably they’re all at level 200 too.

    Thankfully I’m not like that in Suikoden. The hours doing everything in all nine games would burn from my life would leave me still playing at my own funeral.

  6. Albedo667

    I’m like Jeanne, never got past Gold and Silver. I did play Ruby for a while so I could have a Mudkip, but that’s about all. But the amount of hours I will log into Oblivion will probably be more than all my games combined. OCD in Oblivion is not fun.

  7. KatKit

    Never got past G/S/C either. I used to love Pokemon Pinball, though – at one point that and Pokemon Gold were the only games I had outside my NES (didn’t get my PS2 tll ’03). As for OCDness, well, that’s why I don’t play MMORPGs. >_>

  8. --Shoal--

    Pokemon was the first game I’ve ever played and I’m still a big fan today. I can hardly wait for Platinum to come out.

    Just be happy you’re not into the whole perfect IVs, EV training thing. Now that is something that is long, tedious and WILL destroy you.
    …not that I do that or anything.

  9. TsuNoBa

    I’ve never touched pokemon. I wasn’t allowed to when I was younger. And by the time I was allowed to, I had lost interest.

    Perhaps it’s a good thing, because I might have done the same thing.

  10. AirAce

    I felt that way for games besides Pokemon. I once played a final fantasy game and HAD to get all the characters one could unlock.

    My friend Genny though vowed to never let Pokemon into her house. Nect thing I knew, she had a gameboy and a few pokemon games and so did her husband. They were hooked and addicted.

  11. Sam Post author

    I actually never played Gold and Silver, nor could I ever bring myself to get Fire Red or Leaf Green, so I skipped a few. But Diamond and Pearl are all right. No more ostentatious with the animations than any of the GBA ones, and wirelessly trading with the DS is excellent.

    The following should have just gone into the original post, but hell, I’ll put it here.

    Oh, I’m like that with all games. It’s just that Pokémon–any one of them–is insanely deep, probably deeper than anything I’ve ever played. Suikoden’s really not all that bad in comparison–get all 108, maybe get some other characters that aren’t in the 108 (the squirrels in II), deck out your bath. Yeah, you could go insane and level up all the playable ones. I never did because some characters are just obvious wastes of space from the first. Yeah, so are some Pokémon, but the difference there is the evolutions. I’ve gotta level this fucking Rattata, even though it sucks, so it will evolve! Yeah, I could go catch a Raticate, but it bugs me to have “redundant” Pokémon. Because I’m crazy.

  12. Michael

    No, you are not alone Sam. I’m here for you. I have clocked over 250 hours into Diamond, and I’m still trying to “catch ’em all”. I have enjoyed every single generation, and OCD has fully taken over. You’re not alone, if you ever need to trade level 99 Starlys, I’ll be there.

    I am STILL determined to create the ULTIMATE fighter out of my Marill. Adorable, but deadly. I will never evolve him! Nevaa!

  13. TsuNoBa

    I’ve gotta level this fucking Rattata, even though it sucks, so it will evolve!

    And I just now realized why this sounds so horrifyingly familiar despite never touching the game.

    Ratchet And Clank. Upgrading the weapons. I have weapons I love, weapons I like, and weapons I hate. But I had to upgrade them all. In every game. WHY DO THEY GIVE ME MELEE WEAPONS?! I already have the wrench! It’s exactly the same, but it’s slightly more powerful and I have to worry about ammo. The whole point of the non-wrench weapons is so you have range! And yeah, those morphing guns are entertaining, but they aren’t very practical. Suck Cannon is always useless. And then there’s the Lava Gun in the second game which is actually pretty awesome, but it completely sucks after you upgrade it. But I do it anyway.

    Oh, and I can’t forget Ratchet: Deadlocked. It says you get something special for upgrading ALL the weapons. I assumed this meant upgrading them to level 100. They only meant to Level 10, which is the best you can get when you aren’t doing a new game+. Despite finding this out, I went ahead and got them all to 100 anyway.

    And don’t even get me started on getting the perfect combination of mods.

    (Why is there no preview button?)

  14. Pingback: big o anime

Leave a Reply