We’re back to Vyse and Pippi leaving the temple. There’s still no mention of how they got the Moon Stone out of there.
The saddest part of all was…losing the turnips.
Back at Pirate Isle, neither Vyse nor Pippi have any reaction whatsoever to the damaged village or the missing people. There’s no cutscene or anything. Yes, Vyse does realize there was an attack, given that he mentions that the ladder was destroyed in the attack (if I try to climb it), but apparently it’s not that big of a deal to him.
Vyse finds Barbara the Exposition Woman in one of the secret hideouts, and she tells him that the Valuans attacked for no reason and Captain Dyne surrendered. Back in the village, Ben the Lookout is sprawled on the ground, hurt, but he’s well enough to contribute some exposition as well. The women and children hid underground, but everyone else was captured. The fact that Dyne is the parent of an RPG hero makes this situation look really bad for him.
Everyone else is in the big underground chamber. They all tell Vyse exactly what he just heard from the others. He goes to talk to his mother, who is in Dyne’s office. If my husband were just taken away by the Imperial Armada, I’d be out kicking some ass, damn it! But she’s the main character’s mother – we should just be happy that she’s still alive.
Pippi apparently didn’t pay attention to the last ten conversations with NPCs, because she asks what happened. Vyse’s Mother hammers the point home: The Imperial Armada attacked. “What happened to Dad? Where is everyone else?!” Vyse shrieks. God damn it. THEY WERE CAPTURED BY THE IMPERIAL ARMADA. Jeebus Cripes. The captured Ass Pirates were taken to Valua, according to Vyse’s Mother. Vyse asks about Fina, and it turns out that she was captured as well. I didn’t see that coming, either. “In Valua, the punishment for Piracy is death!” Pippi informs us all, because Vyse and Vyse’s Mother probably already knew that, “Fina will probably be killed, too!” You know what that means. It’s time to save the damsel in distress! We almost made it two hours into the game before having to do so, but that beats Final Fantasy IX by one hour, so it could be worse.
Yes, even though he’s been captured, and is about to be put to death, I’m sure he has 100% control over the situation.
Vyse makes the decision to save everyone, and the music gets all triumphant. “I know rescuing everyone isn’t going to be easy, but it’s not impossible! I’m an overpowered RPG hero, and even though I’m only 17 years old, I can successfully do things that people over twice my age with years more experience can’t do!” I’ll let you decide what part of that quote I made up. They blather some more, and Vyse’s Mother interrupts to tell them that they’ll need to rest before going off on the rescue mission. Remember, this is an RPG, so they have all the time in the world. She lectures them on good planning and not rushing in, etc. They decide to leave the next morning. Sure, they’re overpowered teenage RPG heroes – but they need their beauty sleep.
Phallic object #3
The next scene shows us Galcian’s enormous phallic flagship, The Serpent. At least he didn’t call it The Trouser Snake, I guess. Galcian is still in the same place where we last saw him, staring out the window. A green zippo soldier brings Fina in. “Lord Galcian. As you ordered, I brought the girl to see you,” he clumsily exposits. Galcian tells the soldier to leave, of course. Squeifer is conspicuously absent.
Fina doesn’t look too happy. Galcian quickly recalls some of what he read in “The Big Book of Bad Guy Catchphrases” the other day, and says, “At last we meet…Fina. You cannot imagine how much trouble the Armada has gone through to find you.” He pats himself on the back for buying the book in the first place. It makes him sound so evil. Fina gasps and wonders how Galcian knew her name. “I am Galcian, the Sworn Protector of Valua and Supreme Commander of the Imperial Armada. I am under direct orders from her Royal Highness, Empress Teodora to find you and bring you back to Valua.” With the giant phallic ship, the throwing around of titles, and the name-dropping, I quickly conclude that Galcian must have the smallest penis ever. He continues, “As a citizen of the Silver Civilization, you have information that is useful to us. Will you help us?” Of course she won’t. She just stands there looking pissed. It’s a great expression. Galcian says something about her needing “the proper motivation”. I sure don’t like where this is going.
The rest of the scene involves Fina continuing to remain silent, and Galcian continuing to blab useless information, such as how long it will take them to reach Valua. Does it really matter? The answer is no. The last shot we see is Galcian’s giant penis ship. The guy really has some serious issues.