The next morning, we visit a new but soon-to-be-familiar location: the detention center visitor’s room. So we never have to describe it again: we see the room from Phoenix’s point of view, looking through the glass pane to a chair on the opposite side where the arrested person sits. A uniformed officer is in the corner, guarding the door, while in the opposite corner a camera is mounted near the ceiling. One barred window is visible. “Wow, they have poor Maya locked up like a criminal,” Phoenix thinks. Hello, Einstein, she was arrested on murder charges. People who are arrested go to jail.

Maya, looking understandably miserable, is surprised to see “the lawyer” here. She asks, “Are you going to be my attorney?” Phoenix is there to ask her about that very thing, and is given three options: “It’s up to you,” “Of course I will,” or “Sorry, not a chance.” Phoenix, of course, believes that Maya is innocent, so he tells her he will be her lawyer-man. He was hoping this news would cheer her up, but Maya looks more distraught than ever. After a little prying, she admits that she doesn’t think anyone will be able to save her from pound-you-in-the-ass prison for ladies. “Who would believe me?” she asks. “Even you, when you found me in the office. You looked at me like I had done it!” Phoenix tries to recall if he did…and he totally did, because who wouldn’t have? But he tries to cover his ass, telling Maya that he never thought it was her. Maya’s like, “Whatever, Pink Tie, you think I’m guilty,” but she actually smiles after a moment. “And…I’ve also heard about you,” she says. Phoenix panics a moment–did Mia out him to her whole family, or what?

“I…was talking to my sister on the phone the other day…” Maya tells him, and we flash back to their conversation. Mia says, “Today was my junior partner’s first time in court.” Maya’s all excited for details. “It was quite the scene!” Mia tells her. “Honestly, I was on edge the whole time. It’s been a while…” Maya laughs and asks if he “crashed and burned,” which is awesome. But Mia responds, “…He’s a genius. One of those ‘strike fear into the hearts of evil’ types…” If his clients were evil, maybe, he’d be striking fear into their hearts. Because he sucks. “The only thing he’s lacking is…experience.” Mia finishes. Well, it was his first case, of course he’s lacking that. Maya, for our requisite ironic twist, tells her sister, “Well, I know who to go to if I ever get into trouble now!” Wouldn’t you go to your sister? But anyway. Mia replies, “I don’t know, Maya. I think you might want to wait…give him three more years. That is, unless you want to be found guilty.” Ouch. And Phoenix can’t even get mad at her, because she’s dead!

Too late, Maya realizes that Phoenix might not find this conversation to his liking, and apologizes for hurting his fragile feelings. “No, it’s okay,” he says. “It’s true, I guess. But…at the same time, I can’t just sit and watch! When I think of the person who did this to Mia…” So he’s okay with being a failure and potentially getting a guilty verdict, which would result in a false conviction for Maya and letting the real killer go free, as long as he’s not idle? Someone has a hero complex. But he has seemingly won Maya over with this silliness, because she can’t stand the thought of her sister’s killer getting away either. And again with the crying.

Phoenix is now free to ask more questions of Maya. Of course, the first thing that pops into his mind concerns fashion: “What’s with that outfit?” he asks. Yeah, there’s not even any pink on it! Maya says that she is an “acolyte,” and that the garb is what all acolytes wear. Before Phoenix can label her a cult-following weirdo, Maya explains, “Oh! It’s nothing strange, really! I’m a spirit medium. …In training.” No, there is definitely nothing strange about that. Phoenix agrees with me, and gets a new option to question her further about spirit mediums. “The Fey family, especially the women, have always been very sensitive to the spirit world,” she says. Phoenix, amazingly, picks up that this means Mia was into this nonsense too. “Of course!” Maya says. “She left the mountain to ‘follow her career,’ she said. Her powers were first-class, too!” I wonder if it was really about following her career. I would bet that law school and the big city had more strapping, handsome lads she could push her goods on than her mountain home did.

Our ace attorney, bless him, got a little lost in the conversation when Mia being a Miss Cleo came up, and now he’s a bit behind. “So, you’re a real, honest-to-goodness spirit medium? With E.S.P. and all that?” For the second time, Maya says that this is so, but she’s still in training. She’s probably praying that he’s not this slow in the courtroom, too. Phoenix, though, wants to know, “Well, can’t you contact Mia’s spirit, then? We can just ask her who killed her!” I’m sure that would be completely admissible in a trial, too. Given what is to come in this case, I should probably just let that one go, but still, why would Phoenix think that would fly at all? Not that it matters, because Maya is not at all confident in her ability to do something “on that level.” Phoenix thinks to himself, “I thought that would be too easy.” Whatever.

Next Phoenix wants to talk about the day of Mia’s murder. Maya mentions the phone call she got from her sister that morning, when she was asked to hold some evidence. Okay, she says specifically that it’s evidence for an upcoming trial–it’s not a stash of gay porn she found in Phoenix’s desk. Maya clarifies at Phoenix’s urging that she was coming to pick up “The Thinker” clock/statue. “The one Larry made…” Phoenix thinks wistfully, with a tiny pang of longing for his dimwitted ex. “How could that have been evidence in a case?” he asks. Maya thinks about it for a moment and can’t remember the details, but that’s no problem. “Do you want to hear it in her own voice?” she asks. Why, she’s got the conversation recorded on her cell phone! How very…convenient.

Phoenix presses her about the cell phone, but quickly learns that it was taken from her when she was booked. He promises to ask Gumshoe about the phone when he sees him, and Maya even writes him a note as a reminder, which is added to the evidence list. I’m surprised we don’t see random things pop up in that list, like “Bazooka Joe wrapper” and “Empty Tube of KY.”

Following the conversation about the phone, Maya puts on her Emo Face and asks Phoenix for a favor. Handing him a piece of paper, she says, “This is the address of a famous lawyer. My sister gave me this a long time ago. She said if I was ever in trouble, I should call him.” And as she notes, she is very much in trouble. “Do you think you could go ask him to represent me?” Man, that is just ice-cold. I know I wouldn’t have a ton of confidence in Phoenix either, in her position, but dude. She even adds, “I have no one else to turn to…” Harsh, Maya.

Phoenix, keeping the bitter tears back, asks about Maya’s parents. Couldn’t they help her? Maya’s succession of ellipses informs Phoenix that this was the wrong thing to say. As he gets up to leave, Maya says the trial is tomorrow at 10:00. “W-what!? Tomorrow!?” he shrieks. “What if this guy refuses!?” Maya says that the state will provide her an attorney if she can’t find one by 4:00 today. I am just mortified for Phoenix right now. At this rate he’s going to throw out Maya’s note, go home, and devour a box of Mallomars in front of the TV.

After quizzing Maya one more time about her discovery of the crime scene, Phoenix takes his leave, and heads back to the office. Gumshoe immediately descends upon him and tells him he can’t trespass at a crime scene. Then he gets a blank look on his face and asks, “Umm… Sorry, don’t I know you from somewhere? Wait, you’re that Butz guy, aren’t you?” Well, he is a Butz kind of guy, that’s true. In the blue inner-thoughts font Phoenix is outraged that anyone could mistake him for Larry. But Gumshoe just chuckles and says he got the name wrong. “That Butz guy, he was a killer! And you’re no killer! Right?” Phoenix’s day is getting better and better. First some scrawny girl is dissing him when he’s offered her help, and now this scrub detective can’t tell him and the Butz apart! The Mallomars and Judge Judy are becoming an increasingly tempting option.

Phoenix is asked, via multiple choice, to recall the detective’s name. He knows fully well it’s Dick Gumshoe, but if this guy’s gonna be a dickcheese and get his name wrong, he can see how it feels himself. Phoenix calls him Detective Suedeshoes, as he can never resist the allure of suede. Gumshoe is initially tickled by the name, but gets all bent out of shape when he realizes Phoenix is messing with him. He gives his real name again, adding, “That’s Detective Gumshoe to you, pal! Anyway, get the name right. And don’t go calling me ‘Dick’…” But then the two of them could be Dick and the Butz! And they’d fit so well together.

Luckily for Phoenix, Gumshoe is under the impression that he is Maya’s lawyer, so Gumshoe grants him access to the crime scene and allows himself to be interviewed. Phoenix manages to wheedle the autopsy report out of the detective, which he considers to be of utmost importance. Phoenix, she got hit in the head. How do you think she died, food poisoning? You were here. Gumshoe also mentions, when Phoenix brings up Maya, that he is looking forward to the trial. Why is that, you ask? “Sorry, pal, but this is one trial you aren’t going to win!” he tells Phoenix, like Phoenix has some kind of lengthy, impressive track record. Not everything about him can be lengthy and impressive, after all. But Gumshoe is sure of himself, because: “The city’s put Prosecutor Edgeworth on the prosecution!” Phoenix’s blue text intrudes here as he thinks, “Edgeworth…” Could Phoenix possibly know this prosecutor?

‘Eeek! Gumshoe, how does my hair look?’

Well, Gumshoe assumes that he at least knows the name and what that name means for “his” case. When Phoenix chooses the new “Edgeworth” conversational option, Gumshoe falls all over himself to gush about the man. Chest heaving (no, really), he declares, “That’s right, pal! Mr. Miles Edgeworth himself! Wait…you do know him, don’t you!?” Clearly, Phoenix does, but I want to hear Gumshoe fawn all over him, so I choose to have Phoenix play dumb. Gumshoe practically has steam coming out of his ears when Phoenix says he’s never heard of the man. “About four years ago, this Edgeworth guy became a prosecutor at the age of 20! Everyone says he’s a genius. Surprised you don’t know him!” Here, Phoenix’s inner monologue surprises even me: “Of course I know him…I was just playing dumb.” Well, fancy that. And his opinion is not, at first blush, a positive one. To himself, Phoenix goes on, “He’s a cold, heartless machine who’ll do anything to get a ‘guilty’ verdict! There are rumors of back-alley deals and forged evidence… All I know for sure is that Edgeworth hates crime with an almost abnormal passion.” Phoenix is really coming off angry and bitter here, like this possibly goes deeper than his professional links to the prosecutor. But I’m probably totally wrong.

To get his mind off of this mysterious Miles Edgeworth, Phoenix rummages through his evidence for a conversation starter, coming first upon the receipt with Maya’s name on it. Gumshoe refers to it as the one with “the killer’s name on it,” so we know his opinion, but Phoenix is unsure. “Are you sure that Mia wrote it herself?” he asks. Gumshoe admits that it’s difficult to know for sure, leading Phoenix to think, “So there’s no proof that Mia wrote it.” Somehow he conveniently forgets that he was the first person to suggest this.

Next, Phoenix finds Maya’s note, reminding him about the cell phone. When Gumshoe says he has the phone, a thumbnail comes up to show it to us: a lavender cell phone with a purple strap. Maya is such a fashion disaster. Purple is so last year. “Do you think you could give it back?” Phoenix asks. Gumshoe’s like, “Yes! Wait…no!” This brings up yet another choice-that’s-not-a-choice: Phoenix can either tell Gumshoe straight up why he needs it, or make something up. Choosing to be honest only makes Phoenix realize lying is the better option, so we will skip right to the lying. Phoenix points out the strap on the phone and asks Gumshoe what it says. Gumshoe reads, “Hmm…it says ‘The Steel Samurai: Warrior of Neo Olde Tokyo’…” According to Gumshoe, the Steel Samurai is a TV action star, but we will get to him later on. Phoenix lies, “Yeah, you see that strap is a collector’s item… She…was worried it might get lost if it went down to the precinct.” Given that she’s in jail being held on murder charges, anyone with half a brain would figure that her collector cell phone strap would be the last thing on her mind. And even without that line of thought, the best a smart person would do is remove the strap from the phone and hand that over. But Gumshoe…is not smart, to put it politely. He gives Phoenix the phone, noting that he already took note of all the numbers Maya called anyway. Phoenix accepts it, silently thankful that Gumshoe didn’t see the recorded conversation. Checking the phone itself provides a transcript of Maya and Mia’s conversation, which I see, looking back at my own transcription of it, does not match what was actually said. Cutting and pasting the text from that scene must have been too taxing for the writers.

Phoenix is all ready to leave before Gumshoe changes his mind about the phone, but the detective has one more thing to add. “I don’t suppose you’re planning on talking to that witness,” he says. “Anyway, you’d better not! No influencing the witness with your lawyerly ways, pal!” The witness Gumshoe is referring to, of course, is the woman in the pink suit with the huge hooters. Please, detective. What’s he going to do, seduce her? He even admits that he forgot all about her, and what straight guy would forget those?

When Phoenix asks about her, all innocent-like, Gumshoe identifies her as one Miss April May. He says he won’t let any information about her slip, but he’s already given Phoenix a name, which is enough. Of course, he also lets slip that she’s still in her hotel room across the street. Nice going, Gumshoe. Phoenix decides to put off his visit to Maya’s prospective lawyer just a little longer, so he can use his “lawyerly ways” on this April May. A frightening prospect to our young lawyer, to be sure, but he has to put aside his feelings in the name of professionalism!

Room 303 at the Gatewater Hotel is a modest affair, hardly the four-star experience I was hoping for after Phoenix mentioned the place. The furniture and décor is mostly puce and teal, a really winning color combination. But there is a bottle of champagne on the table with two glasses, so at least the room service is decent. As Phoenix is checking out the room, April pops up in his view. “Hello there, handsome!” she says to him. For some reason, she has both of her fists raised up, like she’s about to punch Phoenix in the face. Phoenix answers, “Umm…hi.” Then, to himself: “Smooth, Wright, real smooth.” It’s okay, Phoenix. Winning over the ladies is not a skill you’re likely to need all that often.

April asks, “You’re the lawyer, aren’t you? The detective told me… He said, ‘Don’t say nothing to that lawyer, pal!’ Tee hee!” Inwardly cursing Gumshoe, but kind of thanking him too, Phoenix listens as April prattles on about how cool and glamorous it is to be questioned as a witness in a murder case, and even takes off to the bathroom so she can “freshen up” and look hotter for her interview. Miss May, thinks Phoenix, clearly has a penchant for drama, much like his ex. But at least Larry doesn’t have big fake boobies.

What a liar.

While April is putting her face on, Phoenix examines the room. Most of his commentary revolves around the room’s décor, a particular passion of Phoenix’s, but he also notes, looking out the window, that it would be pretty difficult to clearly identify someone’s face from this distance. Finally, he notes something sticking out of one of the dresser drawers. It’s the handle of a screwdriver. Intrigued, Phoenix goes to look further inside the drawer, but April is back before he has the chance. Wild-eyed, with a tick going in her cheek, she shrieks at him to get out of her stuff. She calms down quick enough, but her outburst was enough for Phoenix to wonder what else is in that drawer.