Garnoa and PUGGY!! have climbed up from below, just in time for Winged PUGGY!! No. 3 to land on the front of the ship. Surprise! Or not. Anyway, since Garnoa headed in the direction of the bridge, poor PUGGY!! is confronted with a larger, eviller, more winged version of himself. Garnoa runs back to help him. “So, No. 2 was defeated by a small child!” says WP#3, as if something with the phrase “No. 2” in its name wouldn’t be shitty. “You are no match against my power!” He gets ready to kill PUGGY!!, but suddenly, the Big PUGGY!!s all proceed to the front of the ship and stand between PUGGY!! and WP#3. This proves to be a bad move on their part. Even though they appear to be able to do magic, WP#3 fries the crap out of them with his lightning and they plunge to their doom. All this death and destruction is in FMV mode, with a sad little piano and orchestra tune for accompaniment. The game designers obviously got their “Destructive moment of evil” and “Sappy moment” sound files mixed up.

‘Thanks Zidane, because I was actually planning on crashing the ship until you said that.’

PUGGY!! watches this from the bridge with….well, no expression at all. The kid doesn’t have a face. Maybe his eyes are glowing a little sadder than normal, but….we can’t really tell that either. He’s just sad, okay? Garnoa puts her arms around him. Zidane is jealous. But WP#3 isn’t finished yet. He stands there looking all evil and menacing as the scene fades out. Back in regular gameplay mode, PUGGY!! runs back onto the deck, pissed off and ready to kick some ass. Adelbert follows him. Zidane takes a moment to ask Garnoa to steer the ship while the big, strong males take care of the mean, scary monster. “Things are gonna get even more dangerous from here on. It’s not too late to turn back,” Zidane tells her. “You can go back to the castle or cross South Gate into Lindblum. It’s your choice!” Zidane doesn’t really give a rat’s ass what she does as long as she doesn’t, you know, crash the ship.

PUGGY!! and Adelbert are giving ethics lessons to WP#3, regarding his treatment of the Big PUGGY!!s. “Even if they weren’t your allies, what you did was reprehensible!” Adelbert lectures. Um, isn’t Adelbert a knight, meaning he probably has to kill people and creatures who are not his allies on a semi-regular basis? Or is the Kingdom of Alexandria a place where people laugh and frolic all day in flowery meadows, with cute fuzzy bunnies and pretty butterflies and rainbows? Zidane shows up at that point, and there’s some more back and forth crap before the battle finally begins. This one is a little bit more…killing me than the last, and for a moment, I think I may end up having to replay from the last save point. NO! But then WP#3 is defeated, and my world is a happy place again. Unfortunately, WP#3 flies off before Zidane and company can finish him off. Crap.

Adelbert wonders how many Black Waltzes/Winged PUGGY!!s they’ll have to fight, which prompts a short lesson from Zidane on the meaning of “Waltz”. Zidane sees where Garnoa has steered the ship, and it turns out she’s heading for South Gate. Hooray! Or something.

Meanwhile, on the Evil Jester Ship (yes, that’s where WP#3 was standing earlier), Zorn and Thorn are all in a tizzy. They can’t believe all three of their Winged PUGGY!!s were defeated. Well, duh — maybe if you had sent them all at once, you might have had more luck. But apparently the “Evil Dude Rulebook” states that all weapons must be used in ascending order of power, and the Most Evil of All Ultimate Evil Devices can only be used after everything else has failed. Zorn and Thorn are pissed off at Adelbert, thinking it’s all his fault for betraying them. Whatever. Wouldn’t it be Garnoa’s fault for running away in the first place?

Thorn says that the ship is unstable, and Zorn narrates WP#3’s return to the Evil Jester Ship. But it’s not a happy return — WP#3 is malfunctioning and ready to do some ass-whupping. “Made its magic too powerful, we did!” Thorn whines. Um…didn’t they just say that the WPs were not powerful enough? The two jesters run away; in other words, they jump out the back of the ship. I’m not quite sure how they don’t die, since the ship is, you know, flying. We never find out, since, surprisingly, the game designers don’t show us what happens offscreen. WP#3 takes control of the ship, repeating, “I exist only to kill…” over and over and over. He’s still not as repetitive as Adelbert, though.

We return to the cargo ship. Garnoa is still flying the ship. I remember the first time I played FFIX; I was thinking about how much more useful Garnoa is than Rinoa, simply because of the flying of the ship. I was all, “Oh my God — an FF heroine that’s doing something.” Given that Garnoa could hardly be considered a strong female character, that really says something about how useless Rinoa is. Anyway, Zidane asks if Garnoa sees South Gate ahead of them. She does. “South Gate is a huge gate built exclusively for airships,” Zidane explains, “but…maneuvering through it could be tricky. Do you want me to do it, Garnoa?” She wants to do it herself. Grrl power! Or something. Zidane hopes that the gate won’t close on them, since they don’t have clearance and all, but he thinks that security won’t be too tight. That’s something that would have been good to know before they were about to pass through.

Suddenly, Adelbert runs in and tells Garnoa that she has to turn around. “The [Winged PUGGY!!] is heading straight toward us on an airship!” Zidane checks for himself, not trusting Adelbert’s story (I wonder why?) and confirms it. He tells Garnoa to “punch it,” meaning that she should go full speed toward South Gate, not that she should hit WP#3. Adelbert is worried that the gate will close on them, but Zidane says that they need to make it through, let the gate close behind them, and shut out WP#3. Wait, I thought he said that he didn’t think the gate would close in the first place.

Of course it has to go into FMV mode to show the daring chase between the old cargo ship and Winged PUGGY!! No. 3’s Super Duper Evil Jester Ship. It can best be described as a cheesy Hollywood chase scene. South Gate is essentially a big, round hole placed between two mountains. Wait, that sounds kind of bad. There is nothing above the gate, so I don’t understand why airships couldn’t go just a teeny bit higher and clear it. But whatever. It’s supposed to look cool — who cares about how it works? (See: gunblade) PUGGY!! is still out on the deck, staring at a lone Big PUGGY!! hat hanging on the side of it. WP#3 pulls up alongside the cargo ship and lets go with a blast of lightning. But PUGGY!! counters with a fireball of his own, and WP#3’s ship goes careening to the side, barely missing a nearby mountain. PUGGY!! falls down on the deck, and as Zidane goes to grab him, WP#3 steers the ship back around. The cargo ship reaches South Gate just as the huge double doors are closing. Garnoa squeezes the ship through, but WP#3 manages to make it in right behind them. Meanwhile, Zidane and PUGGY!! got knocked off balance, and PUGGY!! dangles off the edge of the ship, holding onto Zidane’s hand for dear life. WP#3 tries to shoot another lightning bolt, but he only ends up igniting his own ship. I hate it when that happens. There’s a big explosion (of course) and WP#3 is gone forever. Smoke billows dramatically out of South Gate as the cargo ship finally makes it through.

Now we return to regular gameplay mode where there is almost no animation whatsoever. In fact, it’s just a crappy overworld map shot of the cargo ship flying to Lindblum. It’s the same sort of anticlimactic as the crappy overworld map shot of the SeeD ship after the big spider robot chase scene in FFVIII. Oh wait, I forgot that this game is supposed to be completely different than Final Fantasy VIII. Sorry about that, game designers. The ship passes over a huge mist-shrouded canyon, and ends up at a giant castle.

Back on the ship, everyone is depressed for different reasons, despite STILL BEING ALIVE. Garnoa feels bad for ruining South Gate, Adelbert feels bad for being involved in the whole mess, and PUGGY!! is probably still feeling bad over the whole Big PUGGY!! incident. Garnoa apologizes to Adelbert for getting him involved, but thanks him for saving them. He’s all, “I’m not worthy” and then he says (right before I kill myself), “Well, now I’ve made up my mind! I vow to protect you, Princess, until we return to the castle!” NO FUCKING SHIT, SHERLOCK.

Zidane doesn’t seem too happy. “How do you feel about that, Garnoa? He’ll follow you to the end of the world.” Garnoa’s fine with that. Zidane’s just upset because it’ll be harder to get Garnoa in the sack with Adelbert hanging around all the time. Boo-freakin’-hoo. Adelbert is surprised at the size of the castle, and Garnoa says, “The city of Lindblum is inside the castle.” Zidane thinks that he and Garnoa will part ways once they reach Lindblum. He obviously hasn’t read the rest of his “RPG Hero” contract. “(Just when we were beginning to get close…)” he whines in his head. Oh, please. Manhandling someone’s asscheeks does not mean the two of you are “close”.

PUGGY!! asks Zidane suddenly if he thinks that PUGGY!! and the Big PUGGY!!s are the same. I thought we covered that several times already. “I don’t understand, Master PUGGY!!,” Adelbert says. “Just what seems to be the problem…?” PUGGY!! doesn’t know. “Master PUGGY!!, why would those mages be the same as you? And why would it matter if they were…?” Adelbert continues. For once, he’s talking reason, and Zidane agrees. OH MY GOD!!! ADELBERT AND ZIDANE AGREE ON SOMETHING!!!! Wait, did someone slip crack into my water this morning? “You’re an individual, no matter what happens, PUGGY!!!” Zidane tells him, sounding like an afterschool special on self-esteem. That seems to cheer PUGGY!! up, and he and Zidane go on deck to watch an FMV of Lindblum.

The best way to describe Lindblum is “fucking huge”. The cargo ship passes through the Falcon Gate and into the city. There are a bunch of gigantic buildings, and airships flying everywhere. Garnoa flies the airship into something that looks like a huge clock, in a building in the center of the city, and lands at what appears to be an airship dock. The party exits the ship and walks onto a big, regal-looking platform. Text appears on the screen: “Lindblum Grand Castle”.