Back to Zidane. He’s about 20 feet or so away from PUGGY!!, but he hears nothing. Since it’s only been a couple of minutes, that means it’s time for another ATE. This one is called “Garnoa Tries Harder.” It’s about — you guessed it — Garnoa trying to be a commoner. The dead horse is well and truly beaten by this point. Garnoa wants to try out her mad skillz on the weapon shop girl. Her mad common speech skillz, perverts. But before she gets a chance, a young child named Pasty Yacha (are the parents in this town all insane?) runs in the door. He (I think it’s a he) has heard something “awesome.” Garnoa just stands there and listens in on the conversation. That’s not creepy at all.
I don’t even want to know why that second option is there.
Back to Zidane again. He enters the weapon shop to find Garnoa staring at some of the random jugs in the corner. Jugs as in the actual kind of jugs, people, not the slang term. Zidane silently wonders what she’s looking at, but instead of asking her, he just stands next to her and imitates the way she’s looking back and forth. It’s supposed to be cute or something. Unfortunately, it goes on too long. Finally, Garnoa notices that Zidane is standing right next to her. “You got a fever or something? Your face is all red,” he says. Hmm…maybe something did happen between her and the weapon shop chick. Garnoa slowly says “I-it’s nothing. I’m fine.” Zidane thinks she’s acting oddly, but suddenly realizes what’s going on from the two miniscule sentences she uttered. “You changed the way you talk!” he exclaims. There are two options for what he says next; I choose the compliment, for some reason. Sometimes it’s best to err on the side of ass-kissing in these games. Not literally; ew. Garnoa seems to think that she’s a natural with the acting stuff. “I did fine in the play, didn’t I?” Zidane compliments her again, and she says what we already knew — she’s a fan of Lord Avon, the playwright. There’s some completely inane garbage dialogue about Ruby, the girl from Tantalus, and her strange accent. I’ll spare you. The moral of the conversation is that Garnoa should “just be herself.” I thought the whole point was for her to act like someone other than herself. Whatever. There’s some more cutesy bonding shit, and Zidane asks Garnoa to return to the inn. “Alrighty! I’ll catch you later!” Garnoa says, prompting yet another whispered compliment from Zidane. We get it. Before Garnoa leaves, however, she bows to the weapon shop chick and says, “Thanks. I had fun!” I think we have our answer, folks. Zidane and the fanboys have fuel for their fantasies for about the next six months.
Then there’s another ATE. Ugh. This one is “Cat’s Eye 2.” This is sad — in fifteen minutes, we’ve had five ATEs, and two of those were sequels to the other ATEs. Stop the madness! We’re back with Innkeeper Hal who is musing once again about his dastardly deeds. “Oh, the look on his face!” he snickers evilly. “He sent someone to pick it up right away! All I need to do now is keep quiet until the guests leave…” Well, obviously the “it” in question is PUGGY!!. Now, I realize that PUGGY!! doesn’t have any characteristics or clothing that would identify his gender to the casual passerby, but calling him an “it” seems rather rude. IH seems to think that the “guests” will not notice that PUGGY!! is gone and just be on their merry way. Um, hello. He giggles evilly again, and pretends he’s asleep. I don’t know why he bothers.
You know the drill — back to Zidane. He decides to leave Adelbert wherever he is and go back to the inn. I notice that the game allows me to make Zidane look through the window of the inn. So I do. Garnoa is there, rehearsing her common speech. Zidane watches her creepily. There was no point to that at all, except to disturb me. Thanks, game designers.
Yet again I have announced my plans….shit.
Before returning to the inn, I make Zidane explore the rest of the town. Bratty Marin, another unfortunately-named child, tells Zidane to listen down the well. Zidane hears a chocobo sound. Wait — didn’t we already have a similar scene revealing a random chocobo noise in the vicinity? That’s right, it was five minutes ago.
Zidane asks a question of Dutiful Daughter Slai (her parents thought ahead when they named her) in the item shop. “What are those strange patterns just outside the village?” I don’t recall seeing any strange patterns, so I haven’t the foggiest idea what he’s talking about. Did I miss something? Were there a couple of oddly-colored pixels back on the overworld map? Well, I’ll take Zidane’s word for it. DDS brushes him off, saying she’s busy, and Zidane offers to help her. “Is that some sort of a trend?” she asks him. Zidane is as confused as I am. “There’s already a man helping me,” DDS explains. I wonder who that could be…?
Zidane, having no luck with getting his question answered, visits the vegetable patch where Garnoa was earlier. Now I can see the patterns in the field. I guess I did miss something. Oops. There’s an exclamation point thingy in the corner of the patch, meaning that there’s something of interest in that spot. Namely, the strange patterns, which Zidane comments upon. Okay, so I just visited the veggie patch and the item store in the wrong order. It’s all starting to make sense….wait, what’s wrong with me?
Finally, Zidane returns to the inn to find Garnoa all alone. They make some small talk, expecting PUGGY!! to return soon. Garnoa wonders where all the village adults are. What about the mayor? Or the innkeeper? But I see her point — it’s mostly youngsters. “I used to see them tending the farm next to the village,” Zidane says about the adults. “But that farm is tiny,” Garnoa replies. Zidane agrees. “There’s something strange going on…” he muses in what must be the biggest understatement thus far. Really, Zidane? I didn’t think there was anything odd about the nonexistent adults, the innkeeper’s evil plans, PUGGY!!’s abduction, the random airship parts, the strange patterns in the field, or the mystery chocobo down the well.
Zidane announces that they’ll leave as soon as PUGGY!! gets back. Garnoa inquires about Adelbert, but Zidane parries her question with, “I have a good plan for crossing South Gate. It’s gonna be easy! They’re not looking for the rest of us, so we’ll just hide you!” Then he does a dramatic backflip, landing on his feet on the bed. “Forget about Rusty. Leave everything to me!” Why do I not feel reassured?
With that, you know what time it is. Yes, ATE time. “Queen Brahne’s Steiner.” A skulking version of Adelbert’s theme plays as we return to the item shop. “Firewood stacking duties are complete!” Adelbert announces to Dutiful Daughter Slai. Aha! So it was Adelbert helping her out. I’m so…so….not surprised. DDS asks him why he’s helping her. Yeah, I’d be a little creeped out, too, if I were a teenage girl and some adult dude in armor was hanging around while I was alone. It turns out Adelbert is being extra helpful so he can get some information. He asks if he can speak to an adult. DDS tells him that the adults all work during the day and they won’t be back until nighttime. “Pubs are supposed to be a prime source of information…” Adelbert mutters. (Note: The item shop is actually a pub.) “Ahem! I need not ask an adult. Let me ask you a question!” Adelbert says. “I need to know about what transportation method people use in this village. I cannot tell you the reason, but there is someone I must escort to the castle.” I’m so…so….not surprised again. Well, he did say he’d find a way.
Adelbert tells DDS that he is the Captain of the Knights of Pluto, thus pretty much blowing their cover. DDS, because some random guy she doesn’t know just said he was someone relatively important, tells him, “Please go to the observatory on top of a mountain on the outskirts of the village. An old man named Morrid lives there. He takes care of the cargo ship.” Well, that’s clear enough. After some more inane chatter, we rejoin our main characters.
Zidane is telling a “me me ME I’m so cool pay attention to me and have sex with me because I’m a cool thief me me ME ME ME ME ME!!” story to Garnoa. She’s not responding. Zidane thinks she’s bored (I wonder why?), but she’s actually just worried about PUGGY!!. Ya think? It’s been at least 15 minutes in a village that takes maybe one minute to walk all the way through — why worry that he hasn’t returned yet? Zidane didn’t notice until Garnoa said something about it, but he decides that they should go look for PUGGY!!, who could very well be dead by now. I’m just sayin’.
After walking a few feet out of the inn, Zidane has a brainstorm. “Wait a minute…Last time I saw PUGGY!!, he was standing over there,” he says, as the camera pans over to the windmill. It’s as if there are a huge number of places he could be and this undertaking will require tons of brainpower. Zidane hears a chocobo again. Yes, we know. WE KNOW. “PUGGY!! said he heard a chocobo here,” Zidane muses, standing in the same spot where he and PUGGY!! had their earlier conversation. Argh. Zidane and Garnoa hear someone sniffling. Oh, it’s poor PUGGY!!. Zidane notices a hole nearby and traces the sound back to it. He calls down to PUGGY!!, who says that he’s not hurt, but whoever took him told him to stay where he is. “What’s going on in this village…?” Zidane wonders aloud. Well, maybe you should go find out so the Plot Repetition Mallet doesn’t have to keep hitting me in the head.
Zidane and Garnoa look for a way underground. But not before Zidane says, “It seems like such a quiet village…” Urge to kill….rising…..
Something obvious? In this game? NO!
The well is too small to go down, apparently, so Zidane and Garnoa search elsewhere. The ladder lies within the windmill, under a metal cover that was once guarded by a random person. Said person is conveniently gone now. The two of them climb down the ladder into an underground passageway. There’s a room underneath the well where Zidane comes face to face with the mystery chocobo. “This isn’t just a regular underground storage facility,” he says. Really? Zidane and Garnoa spot some people in a gazebo next to the chocobo corral. “Why is it moving…?” one of them asks. Oh, I don’t like where this is going. “Is it true that the mayor’s brother found it?” Yeah, yeah, they’re talking about PUGGY!!, and they’re also referring to him as “it.” “I guess they reconciled. His brother’s one of us now.” Wait, why am I recapping the unimportant town politics dialogue? All you need to know is that the old lady and the innkeeper (until now) wanted to keep the farm. We still don’t know what everyone else is doing. The two random people want to put PUGGY!! in a box and ship him to the castle. This in particular catches Garnoa’s attention. The part about the castle, not about PUGGY!!. “We’re only in charge of production,” one of the guys says. Production of what? Oh, the suspense!
Yes, that chocobo (behind the text box) would be the reason you heard a chocobo.
The Music of Dastardly Doings starts to play as the two guys lead PUGGY!! out of the mini-gazebo. Zidane is pissed and is all ready to rescue the little dude, but Garnoa holds him back. One of the guys smacks PUGGY!! on the back to make him move. What an asshole.
Garnoa explains her reasoning for not letting Zidane kick ass. She asks if he saw the nearby barrel, then says, “I’ve seen the exact same pattern on some of the barrels at the castle.” Her conclusion, which could only have been reached using skilled deductive reasoning, is, “This place must have some kind of connection with Alexandria Castle.” Now that we’ve established that, I wonder how many times they will repeat that bit of information? Garnoa is interested in finding out about the connection, so she tells Zidane, “I beg of you, don’t cause any trouble just yet.” He agrees, but informs Garnoa that if PUGGY!! is in any danger, it’s ass-whuppin’ time.