A freak show nearby has a “live mermaid” and some spectators are gawking at it. Suddenly, someone jumps up on the platform and starts throwing stuff at them. Hey, it’s Speedo! And he’s pissed. Speedo is some sort of mermaids’ rights activist, and he gives a little speech on how it’s not right to stare at it and blah blah blah. I don’t even know what the hell it is – apparently it’s not a mermaid. So why is Speedo upset? No idea. I do know that people in town are afraid of him because they all screamed and ran off. I think it’s the speedo. “Get back to your demi-human friends!” the freak show owner person yells. I guess that’s an insult or something. Yeah, I know. I don’t care either. Speedo jumps into his boat in the river below and goes rowing off.
I wish my dog could climb ladders…
There’s a cemetery down below, next to the river. Two cutscenes of note take place here. Yup, more exposition.
The first scene is between Glenn and a purple-haired young woman (also not Karsh). They are standing on a shell-shaped….well, shell, I guess, and it’s someone’s grave. The music gets all sad. Glenn and Young lady are depressed because they have no bellflowers. At that moment, Glenn spots Cronabe and company standing nearby staring at them. Instead of saying something like “Who the hell are you and why are you staring at us in a creepy way?”, he happens to notice that they have a bellflower. He must have X-Ray vision because it’s not like Cronabe is wearing it in his lapel or hanging it out his fly or anything. Glenn asks if he and Young lady can have the flower for their prayer. Cronabe gives it to them for free, because he’s so damn nice (and I knew it was the right choice, so I picked it).
Young lady exposits some, and we learn that the dead guy is Dario, Glenn’s brother. And presumably, Young lady’s man toy. They talk about how odd it is that the sword at the gravesite never rusts. What sword might that be? Will we ever find out? Thank goodness for Exposition!Glenn. “I have engraved in my memory the lives of my father and brother, who had wielded the sacred sword Einlanzer.” I’m not sure why he would need to say such a thing to Young lady, who is undoubtedly familiar with all that, but Cronabe and I are glad to receive that helpful information.
Young lady’s actual name is Riddel, and she is concerned about the dragoons, who have been acting strange as of late. What a surprising plot twist. I wonder if she’s referring to the attempted molestation of Cronabe earlier, or if this is something else entirely. “Everyone has been acting oddly, ever since that beastly guest arrived at the manor.” I’m going to go out on a limb here, and guess that this “beastly guest” is responsible for the strange things that have been happening lately. Yes, I know you are in awe of my psychic abilities. Cronabe and company just stand there, taking in all this information, which I’m sure these people really intended to make public.
Riddel doesn’t want Glenn to lose sight of the truth, blah blah blah, and then they leave. They have to walk past Cronabe, Biotch, and Gandy, who all turn to stare at them as they go. Riddel and Glenn don’t seem to think it odd that two young people and a pink, fluffy dog are eavesdropping on them and watching their every move, but maybe that’s just how things are in that world.
Cripes, it’s not like you can just make it change size at will.
Cemetery Scene #2 takes place next to the river, where Speedo is talking to an actual mermaid about his little stunt with the bogus freak show. Unlike Glenn and Riddel, Speedo spots Cronabe right away. He tells them that the festival is a waste of time. He also randomly tells them that he is from Guldove, and he’s working in Termina as a ferryman. Speedo offers his services to Cronabe and pals, but Gandy informs him that they are a bit “buthy”. I guess when you have a mute guy and a dippy girl in your party, the pink fluffy gay dog becomes the spokesperson.
Cronabe returns to the northern area of town, and heads over to the smithy. Karsh’s parents own the smithy, and have Scottish accents. His dad, Zappa, is the blacksmith, and his mom, Zippa, is the receptionist. I was going to make some snide remark about the unlikelihood of two people with similar names ending up together, but then I remember that I’m Jeanne and my husband is John. One vowel sound difference. Except that I think that’s a bit more likely than, um, “Zippa” and “Zappa”. They should have named their son “Zippo” instead of…. “Karsh.”
Zippa tells Cronabe not to bother Zappa or he’ll get pissy. Sure enough, Cronabe disregards her warning and bothers Zappa, and sure enough, he gets pissy. He starts spouting philosophical shit about smithing and how he puts pieces of his soul into the swords he makes. I would think that might hurt.
In Zippa and Zappa’s back room lurks a fruity swordsman. He has a wide brimmed hat that can only be described as “dark periwinkle” and of course it has a feather in it. He speaks in a French accent, and his name is Pierre. He wants his hero medal back. I hope I don’t have to help him find it, because he’s really scary. And, as it turns out, stupid as well, because one of the kids in the backyard of the smithy – that’s, like, ten feet away from Pierre himself – found it. The kid won’t give it back though. Ah well, them’s the breaks.
Cronabe, Biotch, and Gandy barge into a giant mansion at the north end of town. It belongs to a “Master Gogh”. Of course, there are paintings everywhere (Get it? “Gogh”? Paintings?). A young boy, Van (Get it? Van and Gogh?), is out on the terrace, painting. He doesn’t seem upset that three strangers just broke into his house; instead, he just asks their opinions on his painting. I guess he’s one of those head-in-the-clouds art types.
A man enters the room. His name is given as “Van’s father, Gogh.” As if we wouldn’t be able to figure out that he was Van’s father after Van just called him “Father”. We learn that Gogh has returned from a business trip, is about to leave on another, and that he’s always on business trips. Gogh wants Van to become an accountant because he’ll never make money off of painting. And then he leaves. Van gets all pissy because his dad doesn’t care about him, and he spouts off some more random personal information, such as Gogh being a painter once upon a time. I wonder if at some point we’ll see these two characters with their roles reversed…..in Cronabe’s home world, maybe?
Cronabe and friends leave Van wallowing in his own self-pity, and head downstairs. Just like his son, Gogh enjoys sharing all his personal feelings with Cronabe. Blah blah blah, he has nothing but his treasures since his wife passed away, blah blah blah, he wonders if he’s missing out on something in life.
In yet another house, up the first two sets of stairs in town (yes, Cronabe’s all over the place here), a woman is telling her child a bedtime story. Even though it’s light out. But whatever. It’s about how the 6 dragons sealed away evil and restored peace to the land. I will be SO SHOCKED if this turns out to have SIGNIFICANCE. See why I have such a hard time recapping all this? Every damn NPC conversation has Important Information.
The mother finds out that the child has been talking to Speedo again. She’s all horrified. I would be, too, if I had a little kid that was hanging out with a scary-looking guy like that. The mother turns into Exposition!Mother and says, “Besides, it’s hocus-pocus like [believing in fairy tales], that’s making Guldove so remote to us on the main island. Where in the world is there such a thing as the ‘Dragon Tear’?” I don’t know, lady, but I’m sure Cronabe will find it before the end of the game. Oh, the kid is sick and that’s why he or she’s in bed. That doesn’t stop the mother from practically threatening to disown him/her if he/she keeps hanging out with Speedo. Hey, don’t blame me for the non-gender-specific pronouns. Even the mother refers to the kid as her “child”, not her “son” or “daughter.”
In the other house on the same level of town, an old woman sits at a table. She thought Cronabe was her grandson, because her sight is poor. She starts telling Cronabe about her grandson, even though nobody asked her. “My grandson was such a cute boy….He was really plump and cheerful…and loved to make people laugh. That’s why the boy joined the circus to become a clown.” She goes on to say that he used to write letters every day, but then the letters stopped. Yes, you all know where this is going. In a twisted, horrid turn of events, we find out that that Evil Bouncing Clown Skull is the last remnant of her grandson. Double ew. And his name is Skelly. Oh, I get it. Because he’s a skeleton. Except that he was named that before he became a skeleton, so it’s just a big coincidence. Grandma doesn’t know that Cronabe is carrying her grandson’s skull around, and I think it’s probably better that way.
A guy is polishing a statue of Master Viper in the town square. He waxes philosophical (no pun intended) and expositional about Master Viper and his manor. He lives there with his dragoons (a house of young males – I wouldn’t mind that myself), and it’s “heaven on earth,” according to the statue polisher. Um….what kind of house is this? Most importantly, it’s impenetrable. That’s Cronabe’s cue to go break in, I imagine.
Just then, Steve returns. Even though she was quite a ways off, she heard the whole conversation. And she’s decided that they all have to break into Viper Manor. I’m so surprised. According to Steve, this will be Cronabe’s chance to find out what’s going on with the Acacia Dragoons and why Karsh was after him. I guess Steve’s been doing some snooping of her own to find out that stuff about the dragoons. Of course, it’s not that damn difficult, considering the verbal tendencies of everyone in the town.
Steve joins the party. She thinks the manor will be easy to break into, but they need to find just the right way in. Well, duh. She also gives Cronabe a “Tele-porter,” which is a fancy term for “thingamabobber that lets you switch party members”. I don’t put Steve in my party, which prompts her to say “Alright then, call me anytime! Bob’s yer uncle, eh!” Huh? Oh, I give up.