Cronabe and Gandy head over to Opassa Beach, where Beeyotch said she would meet them. Beeyotch is not there, but she shows up a few seconds later. Gandy asks if Cronabe and Beeyotch are on a date, and if she should leave, but Beeyotch says no. She’s being all passive-aggressive, though. You just know she wants Cronabe all to herself.
I did not need to know that.
Beeyotch has the good manners to thank Cronabe and Gandy for the scales. Oh God, and then she starts on another monologue about how she and Cronabe used to go to the beach together all the time. The camera does a bit of a cheesy pan out to the ocean. Beeyotch sits down and some sappy music starts. “The sea never changes, does it…?” she asks. Blah blah blah. “Remember when we used to sit and talk like this when we were kids?” With the sea breeze and all that. Etc. etc. Beeyotch asks if Cronabe remembers that day. I really want him to say no, but I make him say yes anyway because I think it matters for something later in the game.
“So, Cronabe, you haven’t forgotten about the promise we made that day?”
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I scream until my throat is raw. The “promise” cliché has caused me to gag as I’ve never gagged before. The spell passes a few moments later and I take a few deep breaths. It’s just a game, I tell myself. Just a game.
More crap about memories and stuff, and poor Gandy is just sitting there wishing she had run away when she had the chance. I’m right there with you, Gandy. Then there’s some Foreshadowing as Beeyotch wonders if they’ll remember that very moment someday. I gag some more, but make Cronabe say that they’ll never forget this day.
Just as Beeyotch says “Um, Cronabe….There’s been something I’ve been wanting to…” (ie-admitting her “true feelings” for him), Cronabe starts hallucinating. That should teach those girls to fall in love with RPG heroes and their warped pasts.
If you were going to rip off the opening scene from FF8, couldn’t you have included the gunblade battle?
An FMV starts, showing Cronabe, then the very first ocean shot from Final Fantasy VIII, then Cronabe with no one behind him because the designers were too lazy to put in Beeyotch and Gandy (and Gandy is an optional character anyway). It still looks cool. Cronabe has a flashback to the panther demon attack and then he gets pulled into some kind of warp, ending up…..
…on the same beach, all alone. I become jealous of Cronabe, and wish I had a magical warp thingy to take me away from annoying RPG females and clichés. Cronabe falls face down in the sand.
An old woman with a Komodo dragon wakes him up. You know, the Komodo dragons in this game look more like colorful chickens than actual Komodo dragons. I know, because I watched Crocodile Hunter once, and this Komodo dragon attacked Steve Irwin, only they just used trick camera shots to make it look like he was being attacked, but he wasn’t really. Anyway, the old woman, who I’m hoping is the Guardian of all Komodos who shall now kick the ass of all dumbasses who murder little lizards, asks him if he’s alright. Damn it, I guess she’s just some random person. She thought Cronabe was a dead body washed ashore, but no, he’s just a young man wondering where the hell his bitch and his gay-looking dog are.
The old woman says that Beeyotch is in the village and that Cronabe was the only one she found on the beach. On first thought it may seem that Beeyotch was enough of a beeyotch to ditch him after he started hallucinating…but something strange is definitely going on here. Like, why didn’t that woman recognize him? Get it? Nothing Is As It Seems.
The old woman and her Komodo leave, and suddenly Gandy bounds onto the screen. No, this wasn’t laziness on the programmers’ parts. Not at all. Gandy says she went exploring when Cronabe was passed out. Way to watch out for your friend, Gandy. Of course, the real Gandy probably would have done the same thing. She doesn’t care whether I live or die, as long as someone can put food in her dish.
That would thuck thome theriouth athth.
Gandy couldn’t find Beeyotch anywhere (obviously she didn’t make it as far as the village). She wonders if Beeyotch “thpontaneouthry combuthted”. Hehe!
There’s different overworld music, so yes, you guessed it, we’re in a different world. We’re not supposed to know that yet, but did you people even play the first game? Okay, no big surprises here.
There are weird fish circling around Lizard Rock now, and this pisses me off because they keep running into me and I have to fight battles.
Dude, it’s just a fucking scarecrow.
In Arni Village, the old man at the entrance doesn’t recognize Cronabe. See, the thing is, he did in Cronabe’s home world, so that’s yet another big hint that something is out of place. The whole town is full of such hints. The people, for the most part, all look the same, but they have completely different personalities. The guy in the basement who gave Cronabe the amulet was a fisherman who loved his family – his counterpart is a scarecrow-worshipping weirdo who is also a jerk. In the bar, an old woman is drooling over a poster of Nikki, the transvestite rock star. Only unlike the dude in the home world, she’s not talking about things “jiggling” and stuff. ::shudder::
General Viper and his Dragoons are still around, the Viper Festival is still taking place, the Radical Dreamers are also in business here, and you get the idea. Several people mention a young boy who drowned 10 years ago. The boy also was attacked by a panther demon before that, some random dude lives in Cronabe’s house, and so we logically deduce that Cronabe’s counterpart was the one who met with that unfortunate fate. Not like they beat us over the head with that fact or anything.
Cronabe and Gandy head out to the pier to talk to Beeyotch. Gandy demands to know why Beeyotch left them on the beach. Silly Gandy obviously did not notice that EVERYTHING IN THE FREAKING VILLAGE WAS DIFFERENT. Hasn’t Gandy ever watched any television or played any games before? It’s not like it’s an original plotline. Of course, Gandy is a pink, lisping dog in a fantasy game and probably does not have access to television. Still, EVERYTHING IN THE FREAKING VILLAGE WAS DIFFERENT.
Beeyotch obviously hasn’t a clue what’s going on. She recognizes Gandy (whose counterpart is conveniently on a long trip), but not Cronabe. One of the kids that Beeyotch is babysitting warns Cronabe not to put the moves on Beeyotch. As if. Luckily, Beeyotch does not go off on a philosophical and stupid tangent. Well, not as philosophical and stupid, anyway. She says that Cronabe looks like the boy who used to live next door to her. I think it must be the blue hair, because I think someone would change quite a bit between the ages of 6 and 16. Plus, she hadn’t seen him for ten years, given that he died…oh, why am I even bothering. They’re just trying to drill it into our heads that Cronabe’s counterpart is the boy who died. Okay. WE GET IT.
We also find out that Cronabe’s mom died, which explains why some random dude was living in their house. Cronabe says that he is Cronabe, and Beeyotch gets all pissy at him. She says that she always “liked” him, and wonders what would have become of them if he hadn’t died. Jeez louise, she knew him when they were six. Why the hell would she expect anything to have happened? Oh, right. They live in a dinky village and didn’t really have a wide selection of potential mates.
Anyway, Beeyotch is confused about why she’s opening up to Cronabe, and she apologizes for getting snippy with him. This Beeyotch is a lot nicer than the other Beeyotch. So I guess that means she’s not really Beeyotch then. Hm.
She tells Cronabe to go visit Cronabe’s grave up on Cape Howl. Neither Cronabe nor Gandy appear too fazed about…well, any of the events thus far. It’s as if there is no character development whatever. But…no. That couldn’t be.