Chrono Trigger
Part 1
"Time Travel and Castles and Beasts, Oh My!"
In this recap, we meet our hero and his counter-culture hairstyle. He meets the girl who wrote the book on being a Mary Sue, and ends up saving her. A lot. I hope this isn’t setting the tone for the rest of the game or anything. Fortunately for me, we also meet Lucca, this game’s resident genius. Instead of bragging about having discovered electricity, she blasts Punk to the past with her teleportation machine. Whoops.
Part 2
"Ooh… What does THIS button do?"
This recap sees Punk and crew escape from jail, get sucked to the future, witness the Armageddon, and even join ranks with a big yellow robot. This is also the portion of the game where our plucky heroes discover that they alone are the ones who can Save the World. In other news, this recap is the first to have an Anime! scene dropped, ever so discreetly, into the gameplay. Are you as excited as I am?
Part 3
"It’s filler MAGIC-O!"
Punk and pals spend this recap ripping through various time periods, learning magic via cardio workouts, slaughtering half of an entire town, doing the work of an entire army, wading through waist-deep filler, and exploring the culinary wonder that is Jerky. You’d think that people would be able to function in society without a random crew of teenagers to help them out, wouldn’t you? You’d be wrong, of course, but still…
Part 4
"Fetch, Meet Quest."
This recap sees Punk and company wandering all over everywhere trying to get the Hero Merit Badge, the two pieces of the Masamune and the Dreamstone needed to fix the sword, all so we can eventually restore the Masamune and kill Magus and save the world. The good news? We get a new character, even though it’ll only be for a little while. My happiness is a golden poem.
Part 5
"Dude Looks Like a Lady!"
In this recap, Punk and company finally mend the Masamune and deliver it to Frog. The party sets out to slay Magus and his cohorts, and more rock shout-outs ensue than you ever thought possible. Frog and Babs join the party permanently in this recap and we also get three, count ’em, THREE Anime Scenes. AND there’s a cross-dresser. What more could a gamer ask for?
Part 6
"Absence makes the heart forget what the hell we’ve been doing up ’til now."
I probably should switch over to recapping the DS version of Chrono Trigger at some point, because it’s like the PSX version but with a better translation and more crap to do, minus the load times. However, I’m not going to just yet because (1) I don’t know how to tape stuff off of my DS and (2) I already have this PSX footage recorded from like six years ago. Anyway, for all three of you who have been waiting patiently for Part 6, Punk and colleagues raid the Tyrano Lair to rescue Babs’s boyfriend. Then, when they accomplish that goal in like five minutes, they go on a dinosaur-murdering rampage and then get warped to the Golden Age of Magic. It’s all super riveting.