Part 1

"Another naked baby? What are the chances?"

The first hour of BOF3 sees Ryan escort Ryu through a standard issue Meet’n’Greet, starting with a kyoooooooote baby dragon and ending with a kyoooooooote little girl boy clad in purple and a card carrying member of the North American Tigerman-Boy Love Association. Random battles and migraines ensue as our plucky trio struggles against all odds to advance the plot. Is there a doctor in the house?

Posted on 02.17.04 by Ryan

Part 2

"Ghosties and perverts and thieves, God, why?!"

My first foray into BoFIII?s scaaaary world starts where Ryan left off, with Hagrid sending CT to Mt Glaus to find some more young orphans to play with. During this recap, Alf and Confused-Little-Teepo will follow their Sugar Daddy up the mountain (the first of many mountain dungeons), slay a beast, come back down the mountain, and decide on a whim to break into the (haunted, woo) house of the mayor of McNeil. Ill-advised? Nah.

Nothing could go wrong, surely.

Posted on 08.24.04 by Ben

Part 3

"He’s all alone, there’s no one here beside him…"

…His partners now are gone, there’s no one here to riiiiiiide hiiiiiiim! Alf gets separated from Teepo and CT in this recap, but all is not lost, as the Bizarro Centaur Assassin Twins, Bonnie and Clydesdale, rush in to fill the gaping void in our lives. Even more important, though, is the appearance of the divine lights of my existence, the delightful cherub Princess Nina and her subsequent problems. I know half the fanboys out there just climaxed at the mention of her name, but read on anyway, won’t you?

Posted on 10.17.04 by Ryan

Part 4

"Perverts, perverts, everywhere!"

Alf and Miss Piggy spend an hour being chased hither and yon by our favourite pair of pervy centaurs, Bonnie and Clydesdale, and also encounter a kooky new party member. Aside from that, my poor period key will get a battering (as will my sanity), nonsense levels will reach titanic proportions, and a ton of pedophiles will crawl out of the woodwork to join the ranks, which are now rising at an alarming rate. It sure ain’t good to be a kid in the BoF world.

Posted on 12.23.04 by Ben