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"At first Choco won't come near you since he's scared of people but Mene encourages you to befriend Choco and take a little practice ride outside. If you do, he'll tell you a secret. Secret, huh? You mean a secret that will lead me to hours of wrist-killing button mashing and handing over all my gil to you, you little pink shyster? That's exactly what he means."
     -Kelly, Final Fantasy IX Part 6

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Part 1


"The other M stands for mammaries memories"
This game is only like nine hours long, 90% of the "dialogue" is Samus talking to herself, and it's a dungeon crawler. So we'll see how this perfect storm pans out. In hour 1, Samus wanks about how sad she is that the BABY Metroid had to die in the battle against MOTHER Brain, receives a "BABY'S cry" distress signal, and travels to the deserted BOTTLE ship to investigate. We also learn that Samus has some bi-polar tendencies, swinging freely between a stoic badass and a chatty ball of hormones. More »

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