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  -XS Main
  -Part 1 :: [07.21.03]
  -Part 2 :: [08.06.03]
  -Part 3 :: [11.22.03]
  -Part 4 :: [02.10.04]
  -Part 5 :: [07.14.04]
  -Part 6 :: [08.05.04]
  -Part 7 :: [10.12.04]
  -Part 8 :: [01.23.05]
  -Part 9 :: [05.24.05]
  -Part 10 :: [01.20.06]
  -Part 11 :: [10.12.07]
  -Part 12 :: [06.30.11]
  -Part 13 :: [02.17.12]


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"Unfortunately for my shitty sense of direction, the little compass has no entry for 'Next Dungeon.' I traipse about the town, looking for some kind of excavation equipment. Anything that looks remotely promising isn't. Finally, the group stumbles across a random trapdoor next to one of the pillars. How did I ever manage to miss that? Stupid game designers."
     -Jeanne, Grandia II Part 4




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Xenosaga Recap FAQ
Last updated: 10.12.04
May all your questions be answered.
General:
-Why do you hate Shion so much?
-She is too smart! Look at the glasses! She made KOS-MOS! You're just jealous! Et cetera!
-Why do you think everything looks like a penis? Do you have sexual issues or something?
-Why don't you pay more attention?! The meaning of this scene is clearly explained by the symbolism inherent in the--
-What's with the exclamation points in parentheses in the recaps?
-What's the SCDC?
-What about all those other weird acronyms? U-TIC? MOMO? KOS-MOS?
-Why did you change U-TIC to U-GEE? What does U-GEE stand for?
-Are you going to recap Xenogears/the rest of the Xenosaga series?

Why do you hate Shion so much?
Because she's stupid. And no one thinks she is just because she wears giant geek glasses. Also, she's annoying.

She is too smart! Look at the glasses! She made KOS-MOS! You're just jealous! Et cetera!
I know plenty of really dumb girls who wear glasses. And Kevin, not Shion, did most of the work on KOS-MOS. You're probably a fanboy who is so desperate for a hot girl character who happens to have brains (and would therefore TOTALLY UNDERSTAND YOU OMG) that you're willing to believe whatever Namco tells you. Shut up.

Why do you think everything looks like a penis? Do you have sexual issues or something?
Hey, I just call 'em like I see 'em. It's not my fault there are five million phallic objects in this game. And since you care enough to ask, I'm actually a twelve-year-old British little boy homo and I can't get any so I whack off a lot.

Why don't you pay more attention?! The meaning of this scene is clearly explained by the symbolism inherent in the--
Just stop. Now. I don't care.

What's with the exclamation points in parentheses in the recaps?
They denote when I've been smacked in the face with a pretentious religious reference. Which is, you know, a lot.

What's the SCDC?
It stands for the Shion Cheats Death Count. Shion has this habit of escaping death about five times an hour, no matter how much she deserves it or how unlikely it is that she would come out of the situation unharmed.

What about all those other weird acronyms? U-TIC? MOMO? KOS-MOS?
Hey, don't blame me for all the bullshit jargon in the game itself. Go look it up in the in-game glossary. Supposedly it's there for a reason.

Why did you change U-TIC to U-GEE? What does U-GEE stand for?
Well, the GEE stands for Galaxy's Evil Expositors, because that's what they are. The U doesn't stand for anything, as I don't even know what it stood for in the original acronym. Leave me alone.

Are you going to recap Xenogears/the rest of the Xenosaga series?
Originally I didn't want to, but due to "popular" demand (read: more than one person emailed me about it) I have agreed to recap Xenogears. You'll have to be patient, since I need to play through the game again, and then spend several years preparing myself mentally for the world of agony recapping the game will bring.

As for the rest of the 'Saga games? Natch. I couldn't bring myself to make anyone else suffer recapping Shion and the Wang.

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