Grandma Nickname(s): none Age: ? Description: Granny is just a really nice old lady. She loves her two grandkids and always makes her special soup just for them. She tries to fight the inevitable by keeping her grandson away from phallic swords and other weapons, but she knows deep down that she can't stop him, as he is gay a hero. First appearance:   Part 1

Helmaroc King Nickname(s): Helmaroc Queen Age: ? Description: The Helmaroc King is a really big bird, with rainbow-colored feathers and a taste for gaudy headwear. It's kidnapping young girls with pointy ears and taking them to the Forsaken Fortress for some reason. Maybe Seymour lives there. First appearance:   Part 1

Tetra Nickname(s): none Age: ? Description: Tetra is the leader of a group of "fearsome" pirates. She's spunky and bitchy for a girl so young and beautiful, but there's something mysterious about her that even she doesn't know. Take the next ten seconds to figure it out. You won't need more than that. First appearance:   Part 1

Gonzo Nickname(s): none Age: ? Description: Tetra's first mate on the pirate ship. He fusses over Tetra like a nanny, but he considers her the toughest pirate around. How he reconciles these feelings is beyond me. First appearance:   Part 1

Quill Nickname(s): none Age: ? Description: Quill is a postman from the birdlike Rito tribe, who are all pretty much postmen. He's extremely dedicated when it comes to his work, setting him apart from normal postal workers. First appearance:   Part 1

Mako Nickname(s): none Age: ? Description: Mako is the smart pirate among Tetra's many ostensibly stupid pirates. We know this because he has glasses and carries around a big book. How nice of Nintendo to make the intelligent one so easy to recognize! First appearance:   Part 1

Zuko Nickname(s): none Age: ? Description: Zuko is the pirates' lookout. Kind of an asshole, which might be related to some kind of Napoleonic complex. First appearance:   Part 1

Senza Nickname(s): none Age: ? Description: Another of Tetra's bitches pirates. He must pride himself upon being a big brute man, even though he wears a tight purple shirt. Riiiight. First appearance:   Part 1

Nudge Nickname(s): none Age: ? Description: Easily the gayest of all the ass pirates on Tetra's ship. He has a gay haircut, a gay hat, a gay outfit and just generally acts really gay. No, he's not Twink in disguise. First appearance:   Part 1

Niko Nickname(s): Timmy Age: ? Description: The lowliest pirate in Tetra's group, because he's a runt and he's annoying. He takes on Twink as his "swabbie," and is always visibly upset when he sees how much cooler Twink is. He pays off Twink in swag to keep him quiet about this. And possibly other things we don't want to know about. First appearance:   Part 1